(Closed) I was invited as "& guest"…

posted 4 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 2
1725 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2014 - 13th ~ TN

capitalbee:  It could be that he couldn’t remember your last name. Could be that his Fiance did not ask your name, and the friend just said invite Capitalbee and his Fiance. Men don’t always do well with some of these things, and since you have only met him twice I would give him a little slack. If he is important enough to your Fiance for him to attend the wedding, I would go with.

Post # 3
1894 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: December 2014

I think you’re over thinking it! they probably are so busy with wedding stuff they didn’t give it another thought. I would hope if I made an innocent mistake during the wedding proceas someone would give me a pass. 

Post # 4
6830 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

Meh it could be just an oversight. I think you are over reacting.  I wouldn’t get to worked up over it.  

Post # 5
7673 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

I’m guessing that his fiancee did the addressing and he didn’t provide enough information. It’s thoughtless, but not worth stressing over.

Post # 6
1979 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 2014

I think most guys are pretty terrible at things like that- and if he wasn’t 100% sure of your name, it is better to put & guest than the wrong name. Guest lists and keeping up with who is dating and getting married is really difficult and you aren’t close so I would cut them some slack.

Post # 7
325 posts
Helper bee

I would chalk this one up to a guy thing. It was probably his Fiance that did the invitations and who knows what he told her, he could have not remebered your name or not explained to her the situation and so she just addressed it with “and guest”, I’d let this one slide and go with Fiance if he wants to go. 

Post # 8
4518 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

This would annoy me, because if I were in his shoes, I’d have made sure to find out your name. It’s not something I would have overlooked. 

Post # 9
290 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

I know that sometimes getting proper invite information from my Fiance was like pulling teeth.  I had to get creative with addressing some STD’s bc of my Fiance not getting the information for me on time.  I would be willing to bet that your husbands friend procrastinated and his Fiance did what she had to do to send out the invitations on time.  

Post # 10
901 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2014 - 11/15/14-Vineyard

I would RSVP back  yes and put Mr. & MRS John AND JANE CAPITAL BEE will attend. 

Post # 12
1164 posts
Bumble bee

I think it’s still a bit rude to be honest. I am making sure to facebook stalk everyone to find out their partners name if I don’t know it/can’t remember/check the spelling and I’m also going to ring/text/email anyone who I can’t find out on facebook.

Post # 13
1285 posts
Bumble bee

I think you are over reacting.  He probably gave his Fiance a list of names, and his Fiance created the final list and made out the envelopes. He probably didn’t have anything to do with it. Typically, the men don’t concern themselves with how the envelopes are made out.  I’m sure it’s not his fault.  Sounds petty, especially when you’ve only met him a few times.  

As stated above from others, some people investigate and find out people’s names for invites, other’s don’t, and take the easy way out by adding “and guest”.  Especially friends. Family, they’d add names.  I wouldn’t make a big deal out of it. 

Post # 14
2587 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2014 - UK

capitalbee:  Haha, oh dear.


If it makes you feel any better, my parents have been married for nearly 30 years, and they got invited to one of my Dad’s friend’s weddings as Mr DadWhimsy and Guest.

Post # 15
2517 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: February 2015

Meh. I think you’re over reacting a bit, likely because you just put all that effort into doing it properly for your own invites. 

My Fiance didn’t know the last name if one if his mate’s gf’s. I am about 98% sure what we wrote on the invite is a made up Facebook name. I hope they laugh when they get it (also the buddy is awful at responding to texts/emails. He’s half the world away and he works shifts, just to complicate it all further!)

id just let it go. You’ve only met this guy twice in 4 years. Enjoy their wedding. And Yours!!!

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