I was MOH for a friend 2 yrs ago.She can't attend my wedding next yr

posted 2 months ago in Guests
Post # 61
8832 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

soexcited123 :  “you can have a special bond with close friends too” — Nobody disagrees. What we’re saying is, SOME people have that same special bond with their cousins. Just because you rarely see your cousins, that doesn’t mean everyone else is the same. Picture it like this: they have the special friend bond that you keep going on about, and they just happen to also be cousins. Does that help any? Some people are friends with their cousins.

You say it wasn’t implied that OP’s friend’s husband was close with this cousin, but 1) the fact that this woman is missing her supposed BFFs wedding DOES imply that her husband is close with the cousin, and 2) even if you don’t buy that reasoning, it is not implied that the husband ISN’T close. You are assuming that based solely on your own lack of closeness with your cousins. You seem to have a very hard time accepting that your personal experience is not everyone else’s personal experience.

Post # 62
1079 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2019

oceangirl40 :  That’s fine but maybe OP felt she was as important as family being they been friends for so long and the fact she had her as Maid/Matron of Honor usually signifies a close relationship so OP is allowed to feel hurt that her friend doesn’t feel the same way. There are definitely a lot of bees on her who say they have close friendships that are family to them and some who don’t even lick family as Maid/Matron of Honor so I don’t know why on this post its so black and white like oh its a cousin they have to go with cousin because blood.

Post # 63
12097 posts
Sugar Beekeeper

missjune2283 :  “But for her husband’s cousin that she has met only a few times, it stings a lot that she has prioritized that wedding.”

I meant to highlight this comment as well. That’s the part my last comment was meant to react to. 

As for your argument that only their Save the Dates had gone out, in a close knit family people frequently will give their verbal commitment to being there way before invitations are sent, and barring something unforseen attendance is taken for granted in any case. A promise is a promise. 

Post # 64
4496 posts
Honey bee

Is it actual irony or just Alanis Morrisette irony when the only literal person making it a black and white issue with “friend trumps cousin no matter what” accuses all the other people of being black and white even though they all brought up confounding issues that clearly demonstrates everyone else understands it is not a black and white issue for the friend (like the husband’s closeness to family, daycare, being too much for one day, screwing up a toddlers schedule to try to fit it all in one day, possible evening plans with the family, etc.)?  I know red/green color blindness exists…does grey color blindness exist?  I mean I guess it does…They just call it blindness though.

Post # 65
1930 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2017

soexcited123 :  No one has said that purely because of blood, cousin trumps friend. You’re the one who is obsessed with this type of relational hierarchy. It’s concerning to see your posts on these threads. 

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