(Closed) I was never waiting…

posted 10 years ago in Married Life
Post # 3
251 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

I feel the same way, we dated for 3 and a half years before we got engaged. I knew he wanted to get engaged before I did but when it happened it was perfect and I was ready. I think our relationship has been pretty relaxed and never stressful as far as timing goes.

Post # 4
604 posts
Busy bee

I know how you feel. From really early in our relationship i knew and so did he that we wanted to get married. We dated for about 2 months before we became bf/gf and about three wks after we were official he said he wanted to marry me..and i told him I  would love to get married. We’ve been dating now for almost 3 years and everyone around us knows that it will happen..when that’s anyone’s guess, but yea I never waited I always knew how he felt and he knew how I felt. To make it a bit official while the actual proposal comes he gave me a promise ring 🙂

Post # 5
5670 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2010

I was only waiting because we had my ring custom made and I had no clue when it would be done. He started talking seriously about marriage when I was still in college and knew I wasn’t ready. So the following spring once I graduated and found a job I was much more ready and we started looking at rings.

Post # 6
2090 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

I never waited – but I think it’s because I never felt any kind of push or need to get married – but I’ll admit I’m also a bit of a commitment-phoeb.

We never talked about weddings, I never researched rings or weddings online prior to being engaged.

I always felt totally “calm” in this relationship – like others have said said, I knew we were strong, and healthy and happy together, and felt from early on in the relationship that we would be together forever, but I never felt like we needed to get married, or felt impatient for him to ask. Our relationship has definately evolved, and I dunno, I guess I was just really happy and satisfied with each stage of the evolution – I never felt like I needed “more” (a ring/wedding/proposal/etc.) at any point.

Post # 7
14181 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2009

I went through a brief crazy waiting period before he got deployed, when i got my endo diagnosis that “you better have kids before 22”, , but once he was gone, i felt really foolish. It didn’t matter as much as I thought it would.  It seems very unlike who i’ve become and very immature, in hindsight. I think him being gone for 8 months put it all in perspective–I couldn’t really pester him, ya know? =] Glad it was a short lived phase =]

Post # 8
2025 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

Nope..never would have considered myself to be waiting. We dated for 7 years before we got married, and we both knew it would happen in it’s own time. I was perfectly happy letting him decide when that time was. I enjoyed living with my sister at the time and have never felt in any sort or rush to get married (or start a family), so I was pretty much “go with the flow.” My husband had issues stemming from his parents extremely ugly divorce, so I would have never wanted to push him on the subject anyways. 

Post # 9
433 posts
Helper bee

Neither did I. When I told people we’ve been together for 4… 5.. 6… years the next thing out of their mouths was alwasy “so when is he gonna ask you to marry him?” and I always said “some day” I always knew we would, and I’m glad I didn’t spend our time together waiting and wondering. One day he just said “let’s set a date”. Totally the least dramatic proposal ever. But that’s how sure we both were that we’d do it.

Post # 10
111 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

Absolutely. I think we were lucky to be on the same page. We moved in after college before I started law school, and we said to each other that we would get engaged when I finished law school. We talked about getting married and our future over those 3 years, we almost bought a condo, we got a dog, etc. We were very much in sync when it came to big life decisions. Then on the night of my law school graduation, lo and behold he proposed. 🙂

It’s nice how the timing just felt right without forcing it.

Post # 12
604 posts
Busy bee

@zeynokiz: Thats so sweet. If my bf proposes when I graduate law school, I’ll just pass out to many emotions in one day, but it would be great. lol

Post # 13
1805 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: March 2011

We have been together for 7 years now.  We both knew early on we wanted to be together forever.  We talked about it so many times, wanting to marry, that I can’t even tell you when the actual “proper” proposal happened.  There was just never any question really… only a question of “when”.

We are a same sex couple and for us, for various reasons, it’s important to us that our marriage be legal.  Some don’t “get” that and that’s okay.  We want it.  So for us, we really didn’t want to have a non-legal ceremony and then a legal wedding later… and being pretty broke with being FT students with 3 kids together, traveling to marry was the obstacle.  We really wanted to go to California and combine it with a family vacation since we’ve never been there, and we could do Disney with the kids, but then Prop 8 changed those plans. 

When Iowa legalized same sex marriage, and Iowa being my FI’s home state where she was born and spent her first 16 years, it made more sense and we started actually actively planning and we exchanged official e-rings this past March. (Iowa is closest to us out of all the possible states since we live in Texas, and much cheaper overall than MA or the other options). 

Post # 14
2286 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 2010

Nope, never waited. Never had time! We met, were insperable, and knew we were it for each other. Three months later we were engaged. It’s what worked for us 🙂 

Post # 15
2695 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: February 2008

@gabrielleelise1981: I was very similar to you! never spent any time on wedding websites, didn’t look at any rings, didn’t discuss rings, never set a timeline.  I was also pretty calm and truly enjoyed each stage of the relationship – early dating all the way through engagement and now marriage!  I felt happy at each stage and wanted to savor it all as I was pretty sure I wouldn’t be  going through it again.

So yeah, I was never “waiting”

Post # 16
1854 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: December 2009

Never waiting either… When we had “the talk” about our future and both said that we wanted it to happen together and were ready for it, we considered ourselves engaged and set a date. We went to buy a ring later, to announce it to our parents.
There was no waiting on my part, and no planning on his part.
We just discussed everything openly and there was no pressure for a proposal. In the end, there was no proposal, and it was just perfect for us.

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