- 5 years ago
Bees, please tell me I am not over reacting. I know I need to let this go but I’m having some trouble.
I’ve been dating this guy since January. We’re exclusive, we’ve talked about marriage already. We get along great and he’s been the easiest relationship I’ve ever had.
This past weekend, boyfriend’s sister was in town so we were invited to dinner at his parents’ house. I’ve met his parents before. Boyfriend is much closer to his dad than his mom. His dad is warm and a really sweet guy and I can see where boyfriend gets that from. His mom, while very nice to me, is always comparing herself and trying to keep up with the Joneses. They live in the same suburb as where I grew up. Boyfriend moved to the area when he was a teenager and his mom has basically never gotten past the fact that she had to move away from her family.
I’ll be blunt- my parents have money. They’re both professionals but have also been very lucky with some investments. They’ve worked hard to get where they’re at. But they taught me and my siblings a strong work ethic and we did not get everything handed to us on a silver platter.
I’ve always been afraid that people are or were friends with me just because of my parents’ status. When I meet people it takes me a while to open up and tell them my parents’ occupations because I don’t want false friends. I’ve had people tell me I’m very down to earth and you’d never know I’ve had a life of priveledge.
Anyway, at the house, boyfriend and his dad ran out to pick up some pizza. I stayed to talk to boyfriend’s sister and mom. His mom was asking all sorts of questions about my parents and upbringing. It made me a bit uncomfortable. I didn’t lie but I was a bit vague or downplayed my answers.
I went to the bathroom and walking back to the kitchen I could hear his mom talking to his sister. She said “she’s a keeper. It’s not often you find a sweet sugar mama”.
I just stood there for a second. His sister was appalled and said she couldn’t believe her mom just said that. Her mom said “well its true. They’ll never have to worry about money”
I walked in pretending I didn’t hear the conversation but you could tell his mom was a bit nervous.
I was pretty quiet the rest of the evening. Boyfriend knew something was wrong. When we got back to my place I told him what I overheard. He seemed shocked. He asked if I was sure, which naturally made me more upset, and I said to ask his sister since she was there.
He called his sister and she was like “dammit I knew SunnierDaysAhead heard it!” She kept apologizing for her mom. Sister said she does not feel that way about me and that her fsmily, like her brother, is crazy about me.
Boyfriend was now obviously upset and kept trying to convince me that he doesn’t see me that way either, that his mom was being an ass. He called his dad and told him what his mom said. His dad was really upset. Finally his mom got on the phone and apologized to me. She said she really does not think that about me. I said she must otherwise she wouldn’t have said it.
I don’t know who to trust. Boyfriend has been out of town on business but we’ve talked every night. He is so afraid his mom’s comment has permanently damaged our relationship.
Am I over reacting? This is something I’ve always been sensitive about and now obviously for good reason. I don’t want this to be a damper but right now I’m having trouble putting this behind me. Boyfriend is doing everything he can to convince me that he loves me for me.
Thanks for reading.