(Closed) I was referred to as his "sugar mama"

posted 5 years ago in Emotional
Post # 2
Member
715 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2015

I wouldn’t treat your boyfriend any different, he clearly doesn’t agree. His mum made a stupid hurtful comment, I’d leave it at that and not worry about it.

Post # 3
Member
1841 posts
Buzzing bee

While she probably shouldn’t have said it, it seems to me like she said it in a light hearted-jokey way – or at least that’s how she meant it. 

I wouldn’t read to much into it, you guys are still early on in your relationship. Let it see where it goes and don’t write off this guy just because of one stupid thing his mum said. 

Post # 4
Member
2678 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2012 - Southern California

I can relate to you & I don’t think you’re overreacting. My dad has a job that a lot of people would recognize/want to do or experience . You would not believe (well you actually might haha, but not everybody) how many people would try to use him or my family! 

Anyway, I don’t think it’s fair that your bf has to convince you otherwise though. You either know he’s in the relationship for you or your parent’s status. I do think however that your relationship with his mom is forever tainted. Is that a family/situation you wouldn’t mind marrying into anyway? 

Post # 5
Member
662 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2014

Let it go. His mom made an asshole comment and was condemned for it by all, what else do you want? Her foot-in-mouth move has nothing to do with how your boyfriend feels about you or your relationship. Don’t let your insecurity ruin a good thing.

Post # 6
Member
47286 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

View original reply
SunnierDaysAhead:  This has nothing to do with your boyfriend. How would you like to be judged for something your parent said or did?

Your BF’s Mom apologized. Rather than tell her she must have meant it or she wouldn’t have said it, you should have graciously accepted her apology.

 

Post # 7
Member
8937 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

View original reply
SunnierDaysAhead:  Yes, you’re overreacting. Your bf didn’t say it and he obviously doesn’t feel that way. And she said you were a SWEET sugar mama. She wasn’t implying that he was with you for your money or even that that’s the main reason she’s happy you’re together — she was implying that it’s a nice bonus. Which it is. Every mom wants to see their kids happy and in love, and if the love of their life also happens to have money, who’s going to complain about that?

Post # 8
Member
7897 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

It sounds like it was only his mom who thought that. Your boyfriend and the rest of his family didn’t like that comment either. I think I would trust your boyfriend, but if your relationship progresses, I would be weary of more of his mom’s issues. 

Post # 10
Member
202 posts
Helper bee

Forgive him now, but def do a pre-nup!

Post # 11
Member
493 posts
Helper bee

Agree with PP, let it go.  Parents say silly things sometimes.  It should not effect your relationship with your boyfriend.  He is obviously mortified and trying to make it up to you even confronting his own mother on your behalf. It says a lot about his character.

Post # 12
Member
1767 posts
Buzzing bee

You should think back and re-examine your relationship— do you pay for most dates? Do you buy him gifts? Do you spend more money on this relationship than he does? And since you’ve talked about getting married, would you be the breadwinner in the relationship? How much money does he make, how evenly will the bills be split between you two? If you’re contributing more money than him and it’s not even close to fair, then yes you’re the sugar momma.

Post # 13
Member
382 posts
Helper bee

Most men aren’t too concerned about the wealth/status of their partners, that’s a woman thing. You could be the richest woman in the world and if he wasn’t attracted to you he wouldn’t even consider you. You don’t see Oprah Winfrey fighting off a swarm of suitors do you?

And if his mom is going to be nice to you because you have money, well then so be it. Enjoy her sucking up to you lol. Better than not liking you!

Post # 14
Member
1034 posts
Bumble bee

View original reply
SunnierDaysAhead:  My Fiance is 8 years older than I am. When we first started dating all of his friends called me a gold digger and all my friends said he was with me because I was a young piece of ass. We gave everybody the finger and focused on us. If we hadn’t, we wouldn’t be getting married. 

Point is, don’t let somebody’s off hand remark ruin a potentially good thing. Be a duck and let the water roll. 

Post # 15
Member
15001 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

If they live in the same suburb you grew up, doesn’t that also imply that they aren’t exactly poor either??  I’m not sure how it is there, but if you’re in the same town here, you basically know that they are the same general social standing.  Either way, I would just let it slide, Boyfriend or Best Friend didnt know and didn’t fall for money, and it wasn’t exactly un true, you guys would basically never have to worry about money.  DH’s ex before me was a multimillionaire a few times over, money doesnt buy love, he still broke up with her.

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