- 8 years ago
I have a (very) long engadgement, and I’m already getting myself all hyped up over the theoretical planning of it. So yesterday I remembered it’s almost my birthday and I thought “awesome, I get to plan a little party and release some of this pent up event-planning energy!” Also I wanted to order dozens of things from the Oriental Trading catalog again.
Then I remembered my horrible lack of friends. I could think of about 2 people I’d invite who aren’t just my FI’s friends. For a grand total of like 6 people at all.
THEN I thought, if I can’t even think of people I could invite to a worthless little birthday party, who the hell am I going to invite to my wedding when it rolls around?
So now I don’t want a party anymore. This has been happening a lot lately. Last week I decided my life’s calling was to be a wedding planner for about a day and a half. I entered a sewing contest to win $50,000 that I was absolutely convinced I would win until I cut out my first piece. A few months ago I had my heart set on moving to france and raising my children in a quiet little town there all bilingual and cultured. Everytime I get so excited and feel happier than I ever remember being before, then get depressed and unmotivated when it doesn’t pan out. Is this normal, pre-wedding, “about to dive into the rest of my life” feelings, or do I just have a general case of the crazies? I don’t remember being this impulsive before.