- 7 years ago
- Wedding: June 2012
Bee’s, I’m so confused and need your awesome advice.
Nothing happened this Easter weekend. I didn’t really expect anything though.
I spoke to him on Saturday night as we layed in bed. I told him everything… About how after hearing the same things over and over again starts to sound fake, and how I was thinking of staying with my parents for a few nights to clear my head. I also told him that I needed to figure out how much longer I was willing to wait for him. He didn’t say much at first, just listened. But eventually, he said: “I’m hurt. Angry. and a little insulted. How can you throw away 4 years? You don’t trust me? Don’t ever think for a second that I don’t love you. What can I do, other than the obvious, to prove to you that I want all those things??” I asked him for a timeline, and he said that he didn’t know of a timeline to give me and didn’t want to give me one because he couldn’t keep the previous one (January) that he gave me (I’m glad he admitted this).
I don’t know if I’ve ever mentioned his Jeep. I hate that jeep. He baught it two years ago when he already had another car (a Sunfire). This Jeep was just a ‘fun’ car and I was angry because it was a big waste of money (I told him this numerous times). No one needs TWO cars for themselves (He had a Sunfire as well at one point but had to get rid of it after he got into an accident. He now has a work truck and the Jeep). I’ve always said to my friends and family that if he sold the Jeep, I’d know he was serious because everytime he’d mention selling it, I’d say: “You won’t sell that thing. You love it way to much to EVER get rid of it.” He really does love that thing.
So I asked him: “How do I know you’re serious about this? I love you to death and I want to be with you and no one else, but I can’t wait forever. If I was 25 years old then ya, I could wait another 5 years. But I’m gonna be 31 this year, and there are things that I want really badly, and SOON. I appreciate everything you’re doing and I know you’re working really hard and I appreciate everything you’ve done. But men will say and do ANYTHING to keep a girl around. how do I know you’re serious?”
What he said next made me completely breakdown and cry, and question wether I should stay: “If I sold my jeep, would you believe me then?” I said my usual line about him selling the jeep, and told him: “…But yes, it would mean so much to me if you did.” At this point I could tell he was getting very emotional and there was a little crack in his voice when he said: “I listed my Jeep on Kijiji three weeks ago when we started looking for apartments. It was getting difficult to find an apartment that would let us park 3 cars, so I decided to sell it. I wasn’t supposed to tell you. That’s something that a guy wants to surprise his girl with.” I started balling my eyes out and he kissed me on my forehead. After that we just layed there in bed holding each other. I didn’t know what to say, and neither did he. The only thing he said was: “So where does this leave us? Now what?” Neither of us answered the question and we fell asleep hugging each other (sorry, sounds like a cheesy romance novel, lol, but it’s true). We haven’t talked about all this since that night, but we’ve been getting along just fine (like we usually do). But I’m SO confused on what to do now. I’ve always said that if he sold his jeep I’d know he was serious. Well… He’s selling it. But do I extend my internal deadline… AGAIN? Do I wait a few more months to see if he can sell his Jeep and see what happens? I know he’s selling his Jeep to pay the rest of the loan off. And it would save him SO much money. And his line of credit is almost half paid off. He’s trying really hard, and I know this. But what do I do??
And being the curious person that I am, I looked on Kijiji this morning and there it was in all it’s glory… The ad for his jeep. It was a big stress reliever.
Anyone have advice? Opinions? ANYTHING?!?
P.S~ Facebook is EVIL and is laughing in my face. My younger brothers’ friends announced their engagement this morning. NOT a good way to start my day off *shakes fist*