(Closed) I was supposed to pack my things today (long)

posted 9 years ago in Waiting
Post # 47
Member
2355 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: January 2012

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@sweetmamam: Agreed,. I really hope she takes this to heart.

To Gwen, just remember we’re always here and genuinely care for you and want nothing but the best for you.

Post # 48
Member
796 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2018

No Gwen! Please don’t fall for this shit, you deserve so much better. Instead of going back to your parents, is there any way you could get your own apartment? Maybe a short lease like six months? I just feel like J would take that much more seriously than you staying over at your parents for a couple days, just to return to him later. He’s trying to make you sound selfish with the whole “would you throw away four years” and he’s guilt tripping you into staying with him which is just low, especially since he can’t give you any sort of timeline at all. And I totally agree with other posters who said that him selling the jeep sounds like he’s doing it because he has to for the apartment, not as a sacrifice for you. I wouldn’t trust that anyways, since it’s not sold yet and if he didn’t have a problem breaking the first time line y’all had then he won’t have a problem telling a potential buyer,”Nevermind, I’m not selling.”

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@cr6zy:

Now that is love, lol! If my boyfriend did that I would know for sure he is 200% crazy about me.

Post # 49
Member
1119 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: January 2010

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@AmyDee: Everything you said.

Why was he trying to make sure he has parking space for you in an appartment for which you clearly said you will not sign the lease unless engaged, but can’t give you a timeline? He is not taking you seriously at all. And making you feel guilty about wanting to have a future with him? Not OK.

Shop for your own apartment, as AmyDee said, a 6 months lease will give you the space you need and if he doesn’t get his shit together within those 6 months, you can renew for longer..

Post # 50
Member
1192 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

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@GwenvonD: I told my SO about your situation and he said… that your boyfriend is telling you that there isnt enough parking spots for the jeep so he doesnt have to tell you the real reason why he is selling it. He knows he has to tell you something because you will notice a JEEP not being in the driveway anymore… My So firmly believes he is going to use some of the money to buy you a ring with but like my SO he doesnt want to actually tell you that… why ruin it for him?  Yes I have been following your posts and he should have done this a while ago and he is behind the eight ball… but atleast he is doing it.

Post # 51
Member
3306 posts
Sugar bee

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@Anxiouspeanut: I completely disagree with your fiance (edit- sorry I mean boyfriend)- however, I hope he is right for Gwen’s sake- GWEN don’t move in with him until he has a RING in had and has proposed. He made things inconvenient NOT YOU- you been very clear for a LONG while now- if he was serious, he would have started looking for a ring a LONG time ago- STAND YOUR GROUNDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD!

Post # 52
Member
2313 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

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@Anxiouspeanut:

But if he knows how badly she’s been waiting for him to do that and now she’s telling him she’s thinking of leaving, why would he still try and play it like it’s a surprise? I think if that were the case he’d explain himself and tell her that the engagement is coming, to be patient, blah blah blah. Your boyfriend has not read her other threads about this same behavior that he’s been pulling for a LONG time; I think he’s giving this guy the benefit of the doubt without realizing that this is a pattern of behavior. Promise something, fall through, buy time, make another promise, fall through on that one.

Post # 53
Member
1192 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

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@armychica06: Not my fiance… lol  my boyfriend    but  maybe it is what he is doing.. but yes since they arent living together yet then she needs to get that ring on her hand first since I read that he agreed to do that before you went to sign any lease.

@GwenVonD does your SO not have any money saved up to get you a ring right now? If not he shouldnt have been looking at places to live with you until he did and put a ring on your finger…

Post # 54
Member
82 posts
Worker bee

I don’t know……..it seems like she’s not mentioned the apartment hunting in a few weeks, so maybe he slowed that down in order to sell the jeep – I mean apparently him selling it – the purpose is so she has a place to park, he knows she won’t move in / sign lease without a ring – so it does kinda all add up in a way.

Look what Dragonlover’s bf pulled on her bday / engagement, royal screw up, but it was a guy being a guy sometimes. Maybe J just said what he said to buy some more time.

I don’t want to see her wait much longer either, but on the other hand, walking away from 4 years doesn’t happen over night either and she needs time to come to grips with that if it is what she decides to do.

Someone mentioned their mom saying if you have to save to have the baby, you will never have a baby. I agree 110% on that and apply it to eveything, you can not save for a the perfect rainy day as you have no idea what that rain will bring and somethings in life just need to happen regardless of what is or is not going on. People get married in the thick of sickness, death, life, war, etc. so there does come a point and time when there simply is not excuses left – but Gwen needs to decide that for herself :/  

 

Post # 56
Member
1192 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

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@GwenvonD: Thats great that you wrked it out but is he still getting you to move in before the ring?

Post # 58
Member
1192 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

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@GwenvonD: Thats great !!!! That will show him that you mean business and until he gets his crap together ( buys the ring ) he cant get you to do something you dont really want to do aka move in before engagement… Good for you 

Post # 59
Member
2775 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2010

I really hope you stand your ground and refuse to sign a lease with him unless and until you’re engaged.  I agree with many of the other bees, here – this guy has zero desire to be engaged to you anytime soon, if ever (sorry).  He’s comfortable with the way things are, though, and he doesn’t want to lose the benefits of being with you, so he’ll throw you a bone every now and again when he gets the sense that you’re preparing yourself to move on.

Also, sorry guys, but I also happen to feel that when you’ve reached the point in your relationship where your girlfriend is ready to walk if an engagement is not forthcoming in the very near future, you have run out the clock on planning a big elaborate surprise proposal and cannot fairly use the “I want to make it special” excuse as to why she’s still waiting.  Yes, this is a big moment in a man’s life, too, but if you let your relationship get to this point (girlfriend ready to walk) it’s time to get on with it with a simple proposal (and a simple ring, if that’s what you can afford right now).

Post # 60
Member
1192 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

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@ohheavenlyday: Guys want it to be a surprise no matter how badly we want it and no matter what we say…  He just doesnt want to tell her that it is happening now or in the next week , we have to also give him the benefit of the doubt too. Maybe he has a plan… on the other hand yes he should have proposed a while before even considering to look at a place, and he is definetly pushing GwenvonD to see how far he can take it without having to propose and drag it on… Guys are very veryhard to read. I dont want her to give all her hopes up because we dont know their relationship.

Post # 61
Member
1726 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

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@GwenvonD: Oh come on, I think we deserve more details than that. What happened?

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