(Closed) I was sure that wedding planning wouldn’t stress me out…

posted 8 years ago in Money
Post # 3
Hostess
18643 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2009

I think you need to sit down with him and tell him exactly how much money you have and how much money is actually saved or will be brought in.  Maybe he doesn’t realize the extent that you are already obligated to pay for this wedding.

Post # 5
Member
3709 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

Yeah…it sounds like he needs to see the dollars and cents spelled out in bold print. There are some quick money savers right there in your post. The Groomsmen can rent their own tuxes and the parents can pay for their own rooms. That’s a nice chunk of change saved right there. Also…if you aren’t doing it already…you both should allocate X amount of dollars to the wedding fund on some type of schedule. Maybe once he sees the dollars running out of his pockets he will stop offering to pay for things you guys aren’t obligated to Laughing

Post # 7
Member
4001 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

Honestly, this post could of been written by me a few months ago!  Except the tips were from bartending.  I was working 17 hour days (at my fulltime social work job and then at the bar) so I could stash as much as possible.  My Fiance is such an optimist but not a planner, its infuriating to hear “it will work out” when he hasn’t done anything to ensure that!  His head was in the clouds while I was here on earth struggling.  Eventually I had to break it all down for him, he then got a part-time job and has been trying hard.  But its almost like too little too late, however, he’s trying, so I’d never say that to him!  At least I can agree that it will work out. 

I’m hoping the same happens for you.  Somehow, someway, things do manage to work out.  

Post # 9
Member
2867 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

We went thru kind of the same thing.

My parents are paying for most of the wedding (basically the venue and catering). I’m matching what they’re giving us to pay for flowers, my dress, decor, invites – I saved for it and I don’t mind spending the money on it.

Then, my dad lost his job so my Fiance wanted me to give some of the money they gave us back. Which was very considerate of him, but then he wanted to cover the amount we gave back by splitting it between us.

It totally freaked me out because I’d already committed to an amount and wasn’t keen on going over. He just kept saying “I didn’t realize how much it cost.” And “do we really need ___?” Which stressed me out MORE because I planned the whole thing with a budget in mind and I couldn’t stand trying to cut things now. Plus the guest list is 75% his so if he didn’t want to invite so many people it wouldn’t be as expensive.

Luckily my parents refused to take the money back and my mom called him and explained that they’d already saved that money for my wedding and things have all worked out.

Post # 10
Member
1020 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: January 2011

i’m really good with money in the short term. my fiance is really good for the long term (like, retirement..he is a financial planner after all). what i did about 6 weeks ago was make a very in depth budget and showed him what everything costs. i also made a list of things i know we are going to be responsible for paying. that got him in ‘we can’t drop $150 on a saturday night for the next year’ mode. i frequently show him the budget and remind him what we are responsible for. that’s the only way to do it for us..keep reminding him!

if we didn’t do this..i’m sure he would have already added an extra $2k to the budget by offering to pay for things.

Post # 11
Member
2416 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

@jennifer_espos:  This is my EXACT situation now! I put all my money to the wedding and express concern that it won’t work out and he says “don’t worry about it” UGH! I agree, his head is in the clouds while I’m here on earth…frusterating!

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