Post # 1
…by someone I don’t even know! And it sort of hurts …
I’d found her blog (which was mostly about her adventures as a Stay-At-Home Mom but had some witty Bachelor recaps) accidentally and liked it, so I added it to my google reader. Then one day I friended her on facebook and we exchanged a few pleasantries, randomly commenting on each other’s posts and such. Then today I realized I hadn’t read her blogs in awhile because they weren’t showing up on my fb home page. I searched for her to go to her page and found I’d been unfriended. The thing is, I’m not even sure why. I know from reading her blog that we have polar opposite political views and recently much of my news feed has been people shouting on one side or the other about health care, but being a liberal with my fiance’s conservative family as friends on facebook, I’ve avoided all talk of the debate, so it wasn’t as though this blogger unfriended me because I’d been shouting pro-heath care slogans or something all over facebook. Mostly I just post about my running or my classes.
It’s not a big deal, really, I’m just sort of miffed, and I guess I feel like I did something wrong and offended her in some way. I almost wish when you were unfriended, fb made you take a survey, like when you unsubscribe from emails from a company, where you could explain why you’re unfriending someone. Was it too many posts? Too many whiny posts? Posts were too political … etc.
Post # 3
Seriously… i would not take offense! I am a person who really does not like my facebook to be clogged with people I don’t know. Every few months I go through and delete anyone I”m not ACTUALLY friends with. It doesn’t mean I’m mad at the people I delete or I don’t like them… but if I haven’t spoken to them in a few months and I don’t particularly care to be updated on their life, why leave them in my friend list?
Post # 4
I woulnd’t sweat it. I go through my FB friends periodically and delete anyone that i’m not particularly close to or than I haven’t talked to in forever. I really only like to keep people that I know and am friends with in the real world on my friends.
Post # 5
- Wedding: January 2011 - Vintage Villas
I agree with the others – I regularly delete friends that I don’t talk to a lot of haven’t seen in a while. It’s nothing personal, I just like to keep my friends list in control, haha
Post # 6
I agree with cogri and zippy! Don’t take offense, even though I know it can be hard not to! I periodically go through and delete people I’m not actually friends with, no hard feelings.
Post # 7
Oh I should add that I sometimes feel the same though. For example, this girl I was really good friends with through middle school posted this as her status “So and so is clearing out her friends list” and then POOF! I was unfriended… I am not sure if I preferred the heads up or not… I was quite offended since we were actually really good friends at one point!
Post # 8
I sometimes unfriend people if I don’t know them or haven’t spoken to them in a long time. I don’t think it’s a big deal or meant to be personal!
Post # 9
Did you check facebook to see if she is still using it? Sometimes when I think people have unfriended me, I discover they’ve really just closed their accounts!
Post # 10
I agree with what everyone else has said. I also delete people I haven’t actually talked to in years, and I know others who have done the same with me. Honestly, I don’t mind, and even though I don’t put much on there, it limits the number of people who are seeing information and pictures of me. I know it can be a little hard on the ego, but if you weren’t actually real friends, is it worth getting upset over?
Post # 11
I totally know how you feel! I’m actually surprised at all of the responses so far. I don’t think I’ve ever deleted a friend from facebook. I don’t usually accept friend requests from people I don’t know but I don’t delete friends from high school that I haven’t talked to in years. I just block their feeds if their posts are annoying. I had a college friend that I worked with, had many classes with and hung out with unfriend me shortly after he graduated. It was really no big deal but I was a little hurt so I feel your pain!
Post # 12
Yeah, I mean I wish there were some kind of alert that told you when you’d been unfriended. Just so you know and there are no surprises. My sister has a kind of crazy story about FB: She ran into an old High School acquaintance (this girl was more popular than my sister in HS, but friendly with most people) and this girl sent my sister a Friend request. My sister accepted the friend request and wrote on this girls’ wall “Hey nice to see you on FB” or something totally innocuous like that. The next day, she navigated back to the girl’s wall just to check soemthing out and noticed her wall post had been deleted! I was so angry when I heard that, I made my sister unfriend this girl, which she did. I thought it was so rude, because clearly the girl was just trying to get her friend count up (which a lot of people care about) and didn’t actually want to keep in touch with my sister.
Seriously, FB can be so strange, it’s just too easy for people to friend each other who aren’t actually friends. The moment I signed up for it last year, I got about 25 immediate friend requests from the very unpopular group in HS who I wasn’t ever friends with. Not that I care they were unpopular, it’s just we weren’t ever friends with each other, they just know who I am and all sent me requests immediately. I only accepted a few of them who I can remember having some kind of conversation with at some point as I don’t want a group of random people looking at my personal info.
Post # 13
My general FB policy if I receive a friend request from someone I don’t know (or who I’m not sure I know) is to accept the request, navigate to their page, find out who the heck they are, and go from there. If I find out that I have NEVER interacted with them, I unfriend them immediately. If I know who they are, but don’t know if I want to keep in touch, I’ll keep them up for a week. If they don’t say hi or anything by then, I unfriend them. My friends list is VERY small on FB, and I pare it down every now and then just to be sure. I post very private details of my life on there, I don’t want just anyone to read it, that’s why it’s all privacy protected in the first place. I’m glad it doesn’t alert people when they are unfriended, I would hate to have that awkward conversation every two weeks…
“Why did you unfriend me?”
“Do you even know my middle name?”
I think some people view social network friends differently. For some people, it’s only your actual friends and for some people it’s any online acquaintance you have.
Post # 14
I wouldn’t take offense either. I regularly defriend people who I don’t know personally. Its absolutely nothing against them, but when I’m cruising through status updates, I’m only really interested in my friends I want to keep in touch with.
Post # 15
I don’t think it should be a big deal. It sounds like you really don’t know her. I’m the same as everyone else here; I go through and delete people off my list periodically. I have pictures of my family and my new house on there and I don’t need anyone just nosing around to see & judge my house. I’m from a small town where everyone DOES know everyone; but I prefer for some people to NOT know everything about me. I’d say re-add her and maybe she’ll see your interested in her blogs & she’ll keep you around. She was probably just in that mood to get rid of anyone she doesn’t speak to regularly.
Post # 16
I wouldn’t sweat it either. If it were someone you knew, then there’d be a problem. I don’t have anyone that I don’t know on my FB page. But I use the word ‘know’ loosely. I have a lot of people that I was cool with in 10th grade chem class, but we never spoke after HS, or even middle school. So to be honest, I’ve unfriended them when they get to be really annoying. I can’t help it, they are ridic!