(Closed) I wasn't invited to FI's friend's wedding..do we invite his wife?

posted 8 years ago in Etiquette
  • poll: Should we invite friend's wife?

    Nope. You have to limit your list too. It's only fair!

    Yes, it's the right thing to do

    Other (explain)

  • Post # 47
    Member
    2803 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: September 2015

    @khaleesi:  Inviting her is going to make you look a LOT classier amongst the mutual friends that you have. That is powerful, don’t underestimate it. 

    Post # 48
    Member
    5136 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: September 2013

    @khaleesi:  ugh….unfortunately you have to be the bigger person…however…when seeing her i would try to say something to make her feel bad about not inviting you. 

    But I agree with the other Bbes tbat you Fiance made the mistake by not saying anything.

    Post # 49
    Member
    2265 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: October 2010

    @khaleesi:  Frankly, I think your Fiance deserves a smack on the back of the head for attending. If this guy is such a good friend, why would he insult your Fiance by excluding you? 

    At any rate, I say invite them both and absolutely use the line about hearing their wedding was beautiful and that you’re so happy they could both make it to yours.  That would be just a little bit awesome. 

    Post # 50
    Member
    975 posts
    Busy bee

    Just be the bigger person and invite both of them. He is your FI’s friend.  Suck it up buttercup and get over it.  You weren’t engaged to him or married at the time of his friends wedding…and they were probably only inviting engaged and married couples, not boyfriend/girlfriend couples to their wedding.  You don’t know  what their personal decision on their guest list was. 

     

    Post # 51
    Member
    6592 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: November 2013 - St. Augustine Beach, FL

    @Sephiroth:  She admitted her and her Fiance never met the woman and she had only met this good friend once herself.  So it sounds like they’re not really good friends with this particular couple.

    Post # 52
    Member
    1229 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: August 2012

    Eff that, I wouldn’t invite her. 

    Post # 53
    Member
    323 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: February 2014

    I wouldn’t invite either of them. No way. 

    Post # 55
    Member
    2426 posts
    Buzzing bee

    @khaleesi:  I would invite them but make some offhand comment like in one of your updates. I love an awkward moment 🙂

    When my husband and I had been dating a bit over a year, his brother’s girlfriend (they had been dating for a bit over a year too) was invited to his cousin’s wedding but I was not. A few years later when his cousin and aunt asked why I didn’t come since my now SIL came, I very bluntly stated that I was told I wasn’t invited. That was a nice awkward moment.

    Post # 56
    Member
    323 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: February 2014

    @MRSsrm85:  I have a sort of similar story. I went to FIs cousins wedding two years ago (FI was best man), and they were taking a picture of the entire extended family. I wasn’t sure if I should get in the picture (weren’t engaged yet), but FIs grandma invited his brothers Girlfriend into the picture (FI and I have been together longer than them). Fiance questioned it and she said “well, (FBILs GF) is having a baby in the family!”

     

    Yup, went straight to the reception, straight to the bar..

    Post # 57
    Member
    909 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: January 2015

    I wouldn’t invite either of them.  

    Post # 58
    Member
    2202 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: August 2013 - Wynn Las Vegas

    Wow…Call me bitchy but I would be SO tempted not to invite her. DH would make me, though. How rude of them!

    Post # 59
    Member
    9985 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: November 1999

    I’d be pretty angry if I didn’t get invited but DH did, but I guess I’d try to ignore it and invite his wife.  Two wrongs don’t make a right…even though it’s still a bitter decision to make!

    Post # 60
    Member
    1616 posts
    Bumble bee

    @bklynbridetobe:  Hell yeah. I agree 100%. Two wrongs don’t make a right but I’m not worried about being “right.”

    Post # 61
    Member
    128 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: June 2014

    This happened to me too! Except that Fiance was a groomsman in their wedding! At the time, Fiance and I weren’t engaged, but we were living together and had been together about 4 years – which was longer than the bride and groom had been together. What made it even MORE awkward was that they actually asked me to bring the gift that my Fiance and I had bought them to the rehearsal dinner, which I of course was not invited to, even though Fiance was in the wedding. Just ridiculous. So I am SO SO SO tempted not to invite this guy’s wife to the wedding. Like to the point of just fantasizing about it when I look at our guest list. But ultimately, I’ll invite her because the thought of HER thinking I’M rude is too much for me to bear, so I’ll take the high road and then just ignore her at the wedding haha.

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