(Closed) I wasn’t prepared for this :(

posted 7 years ago in Waiting
Post # 3
Member
1855 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

Personally, any vacation with the SO is a good one….

Any chance he went a different direction and is getting you a different ring? Maybe he found a similar one somewhere else.  Maybe he has a different time in mind.  Maybe he’s picking going back before you leave.  Regardless, he loves you, you love him, and you are going on a trip together.  Hakuna matata!

Post # 4
Member
132 posts
Blushing bee

I’m sorry this happened. Try to put it out of your mind. Givw yourself some alone time and get all your crying out- then force (force) yourself to forget about the whole ring situation. Just go and have fun. Don’t expect a proposal- it might let you down.

If when you get back, it’s still bugging you then have a talk with SO. I’m all for talking. It’s always good to get your feelings out there. It makes you feel better and I’m sure SO doesn’t want you feeling like crap and he wants you to feel better too <3

Post # 5
Member
2893 posts
Sugar bee

1st off – good for you for not snooping or dropping by the store. I know it must have been hard.

2nd- it’s ok to be upset. As much as we talk about not letting the emotionally tense things in ours lives get the better of us, in the end, we’re still humans…with emotions. The grown-up, reasonable, intelligent part of our brain says, it’s not happening just yet, get on with life. But the emotional part still wants to hope for the best cause despite what we tell ourselves, we hope we’re wrong. I would have been upset too.

Did he ever give any indication about when he was wanting to actually buy a ring? Had he said anything after you went ring shopping?

Honestly though, if I was planning a surprise for someone I wouldn’t want to do it when they’re expecting it. I mean. Come on. A cruise vacation. I’m going on a cruise with my guy in a couple weeks and I would be lying if I didn’t wonder if this would be it. But it wouldn’t be a surprise. And I’m wondering if your guy has come to the same conclusion. Sorry you’re feeling down.

Post # 6
Member
120 posts
Blushing bee

I’m sorry that you’re feeling down right now. It’s always difficult to want something so much and then find out it’s not happening when you thought it might. You said that you’re happy how much your relationship has improved lately – don’t let this be a step back. Go on your vacation and try your best to enjoy the time with your SO. Granted, a proposal may not be in the works for this specific event, but enjoy it for what it’s worth – time away with the person who you will eventually spend the rest of your life with. Smile

Post # 7
Member
21 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: September 2011

You aren’t alone. I spent a year and a half waiting for a promised proposal that never came.

We started “talking” about getting married during the summer of 2009. January of 2010 we had planned a very nice trip to Hawaii for our 6 year anniversary of dating. I swore up and down that he would propose on this trip because it was just the most perfect opportunity. 10 days in Hawaii came and went without a proposal.

A couple of days after the trip I sat him down and asked if he was serious about it and demanded to know a timeframe for when it would happen. He said he was serious and that he was saving up to buy a ring. — On a sidenote, he has a very nice job that pays him a very very nice paycheck…. if he were really serious about it he would have had enough money saved for a modest ring in less than two months.

May 2010, still…. nothing. I asked him again if he was serious. He flat out said “I’m saving for a ring, but if you’re seroius we can go to the courthouse sometime next week, not this week though cause I’m busy.” I almost strangled him.

August of 2010 rolls around and he gets sent to Australia for a business trip. I use frequent flier miles and tag along for an impromptu vacation. Again, I swore up and down he was going to find the perfect moment on this trip to propose. Two weeks in Australia, nothing.

October 2010 – I said “whether you like it or not, we’re getting married next year. I’ve waited too long, enough is enough.” He responded with “Oh, you don’t want a ring first?” Now he wants to give me a ring?!?!

December 2010 – I was doing some Christmas shopping and came across a sapphire pin cushion like ring. I came home with the ring, walked up to him, opened the box, and said “This is my engagement ring. It’s official, we’re getting married. Thanks for the beautiful ring!”

Our wedding is in 3 weeks 🙂

Post # 8
Member
5110 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: November 2011

Yay for you not snooping that is some good self controle right there. Aside from that. Its okay to be sad about this. Its a normal honest feeling. the only advice I have to give is to go on your vacation and enjoy every minute of it. Its hard when you are wanting something so bad and not getting it, but I guess if its bothering you… You should either just know that it WILL happen eventually so just enjoy your waiting period, and your relationship. Or you could talk to him about how you are feeling, and see how he is feeling about the whole situation. 

Post # 9
Member
5110 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: November 2011

@gumby: I love this. Way to take matters into your own hands. What a woman!! 🙂

Post # 12
Member
1566 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

@purplebee:Waiting is sooo hard!!! Please go on your vacation and just try to enjoy your time together.  Good for you for not snooping…just keep staying strong!

Post # 14
Member
858 posts
Busy bee

you have to tell him the jokes upset you. My SO did that crap too then one day I told him that I did not find the jokes funny and that they were not helping. He said he was sorry and that he didnt realize it would upset me and has not made a joke since. Good for you for not snooping or going to the store I am sure your time will come soon 🙂

Post # 15
Member
921 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

he could have very well gone to another store. i found my ring at a store near my work and visited it every day. the day before a family trip to sedona i stopped in to see if my ring was still there and it was. i didnt expect any kind of proposal. i had been mad at Fiance for 2 weeks since he was not helping around the house when i was at work and he wasnt. that weekend he proposed and i was totally ocnfused! he had gone to another store (actually every jewlery store in the city) looking for my ring in the right size with the best diamonds he could find and got it there.

dont give up completly but dont expect it. when you least expect it then thats when it will happen. Fiance said he was teaching me patience by making me wait. little does he know patience in a virture i will never ever have lol

Post # 16
Member
2408 posts
Buzzing bee

Oh purplebee, I’m so sorry to hear this. I’m glad you didn’t snoop but this was something I wasn’t even expecting to hear either. I hope finding out now will give you the time to work through the feelings of disappointment enough to still genuinely enjoy your vacation, because vacations with the mister are always a good thing!

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