(Closed) I will take Bad Decisions for $500, Alex.

posted 5 years ago in The Lounge
Post # 3
777 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2009

@MrsPanda99:  People like this infuriate me. I know a girl like this. She wanted a baby NOW NOW NOW with her boyfriend and couldn’t understand why she couldn’t get pregnant, then when she finally did, the first thing she was asking about on facebook was how to get on government assistance and the WIC program. I just can’t comprehend why people think this A-OK.

ETA: as for what you should do, I would just tell her that you don’t feel comfortable hosting the shower and leave it at that.

Post # 4
196 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

@MrsPanda99:  Free loaders upset me too. I feel as if you have answered your own question when you said you don’t want to see her or give her anything. People like this have a way of always being a free loader. It sounds like you don’t want anything to do with her or her life – I would cut the friendship off. It is impossible to be friends with someone you can’t respect. I would leave that freeloader in the dust and let her find someone else to leech off of. 

Post # 5
2055 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

One of my nurses aides is like this. She’s pregnant and she’s like “when I have the baby I’m gonna drop down to part time and get assistantce from the government.”

Lazy, lazy, irresponsible. Ugh.

Post # 8
491 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

I think they could make it work with $40,000 a year, but they will have to live very frugally. It will need to be second hand toys and baby stuff for them. As this is the decision that they are making, its not really fair to expect friends to pick up the tab for the little luxuries. If you offer,  that’s one thing, but to ask or expect is another. 

As for government assistance, I don’t see what is wrong with that if they qualify without making a fraudulent claim. Is it not there to help out low income families? They have a lot of dept from there education, you could argue that is unfair, just because their parents could not afford it. Whereas, someone with rich parents by accident of birth has no dept to contend with after. I completely believe that a healthy society is a place where the rich pay more in taxes  and the poor have access to assistance. It helps to balance society and ensures that everyone gets more of a fair chance and it ends up better for the economy in the end too. 

Post # 9
3553 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

I’ve got a cousin in a very similar situation. He doesn’t make much and his wife wants to be a Stay-At-Home Mom. They had one child and then realized that they couldn’t afford their apartment and the child at the same time. They gave up their apartment and moved in with my Aunt in her 3 bedroom house who was already hosting my other cousin, his wife, and their two kids while they were house hunting and trying to close on a house (it took over 8 months). While there they had a second child and got pregnant with a third. They lost the third sometime in the second trimester due to some kind of rare complication which was sad. Since then they have moved out into a living situation of their own. When they were trying for a third and couldn’t even afford an apartment I admit that I rolled my eyes behind their back and wondered why my cousin’s wife wouldn’t get even a part time job to help support the family. Heck she watches so many of my cousin’s kids during the day she should just start her own daycare.

It really bothers me when people intentionally have a child without a concrete support plan for that child in place. I feel that it’s irresponsible and exactly the wrong foot to start off on with such a huge responsibility like parenting.

Post # 10
2616 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

horrible those people infuriate me too

Post # 12
1041 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

@MrsPanda99:  Whaaaaaaaaaaaaaa???  Holy crow – that’s a terribly selfish choice she’s making, and her husband is demonstrating that he has the spine of a wet dishrag.  WOW.  If she wants to do this, she should go to work and earn the $ to fund it! 

Unfortunately, there’s not a lot you can do about it besides retreat from the situation.  Cut her off.

Post # 13
2278 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

 I’d nicely and calmly tell her that you don’t feel comfortable hosting her shower, but I know that I (personally) would be struggling to not tell her how I really felt about her choices of financial planning/government assistance in this regard. Heck, I’m livid for you!

Post # 15
2604 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

@MrsPanda99:  honestly? I’d let this friendship go. there is no way in hell I would give my hard earned money to an able bodied adult who refuses to work. I don’t think she has baby fever – I think popping out kids is her excuse not to get a damn job and to get her hands on an income stream courtesy of the taxpayers. 

She’s lazy, selfish, a leech and monumentally entitled. I can’t be friends with someone I don’t respect. No way i’d have any part of her gift grab baby shower. 

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