(Closed) I wish I didn’t feel like such a jealous bitch.

posted 7 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
5823 posts
Bee Keeper

Because you are human.  It’s ok to feel jealous!  Acting on emotions is a different story, but just FEELING them is something you can’t control.  Let yourself feel jealous if you do, but try not to wallow in it, and try to find things about your own situation that you are grateful for (not comparing to anyone, just things that you are glad about).

Post # 4
375 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

@SweetRose2011: First of all, don’t feel bad. I think it’s totally okay to have a pity party every once in awhile, as long as you know that’s what it is, and it seems like you’re pretty reasonable about it.

I am never going to tell anyone to go over budget for their wedding – like you said, all that matter is that this is the start of your MARRIAGE. But, it should still be a day you love and feel good about; otherwise, cancel the wedding and buy you and Fiance a week of jacuzzi rooms. Yes, your guests matter a lot, and they should be comfortable, but sometimes I think brides sacrifice too much of their wedding in the interest of guests. Obviously, there is a limit as to how much you cna make it about you, but the day will be 1,000 times more memorable to you than to the vast majority of your guests, so why should their desires take precedence over yours? Again, I am not recommending that you ignore their comfort or go over budget, but if you make it a day that is personal to you as a couple and that truly shares your joy with your guests, no one will remember that there wasn’t a full bar.

 Also, on less philosophical matters, I don’t want to tell you to go on the offensive with this brides’ parents, but I am guessing since your parents don’t seem excited about the wedding and you are on such a tight budget, that they aren’t contributing. If that is the case, no one says you have to invite anyone you don’t want at your wedding. And if these people aren’t close to you and it will make you less self-conscious about your day, I don’t think there is anything wrong with that.

Hope that helps!

Post # 5
62 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

You are not wrong for feeling this way! I know how it is, to be watching every single penny. We are doing the same for our wedding, neither set of parents is giving us a dime towards anything. I know mine really can’t afford it, and frankly it makes me feel good that we are doing this on our own anyway.

It’s not wrong to feel like you are giving stuff up, because sometimes I feel that way too. It’s just human.

But like other Bees have said, you are marrying the man you love. Be proud of what you guys were able to do yourselves, it says a lot about you both. It might not be as fancy as someone else’s, but just the fact that you guys are doing it for yourselves and not depending on anyone else makes it much more special and meaningful. (at least in my opinion)

Hugs to you!

Post # 6
2154 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

You’re not a bitch! Stop feeling like a bitch!

Post # 7
548 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

Hey girl! im in the same emotional boat! We have penny pinched since we started planning, my parents also introduce me the same as you LOL and they dont have any money to spend on our wedding… wait oh yes they do, they just gamble it away! My Fiance’s cousin is getting married in the beggining of October, im getting married at the end, so obviously we are going to be compared (her family has money)

Dont you worry about the other bride!! And your parents do not need to invite that girls parents to your wedding just cause they are inviting them to theres. You should only invite who you want to see that day. The fact that you said you would marry your man in a t-shirt and jeans is awesome… you get the whole point of a wedding YOU TWO starting a marriage!!! Not the guests, not your parents… you and your soon to be husband. The jacuzzi, yes it would be fun and the glass on the tables, yup it would look pretty and the open bar, yup the guests would be able to drink EVEN MORE… but all that is extra! NOT NEEDED TO GET MARRIED! All the ‘stuff’ the other bride is going to have doesnt matter. I know that wont change how you feel right now, and trust me i am here with you. Even without the comparing, this is a stressful time for a bride to be, i seriously cry over the stupidest little things right now LOL.  Just keep your head up girl, dont stress!!!!!

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