Post # 1
I have a small group of friends: 3 guys, 1 girl. We’ve been friends for a long time now. The girl (we’ll call her Mary) isn’t very… girly. When I got engaged, she didn’t care. She didn’t want to see my ring. She’s really, well, mean in general. So besides family and distant friends on FB saying “congratulations,” no one else has talked to me about my wedding.
Well today, my dental hygienist was FAWNING over my ring. She was asking me about ALL the details of my upcoming wedding, and being.. well, girly. She was almost as excited as I was! That’s when I felt like crying. I wish I had a best girl friend. These friends I have, they’re ok… we spend Thanksgiving/Christmas together and hang out almost every weekend, but there’s no “bond.”
I wish I had a group of good girl friends to hang out with. 🙁 I’m so jealous of people who do. *shrugs* sorry, just had to vent a little. It’s pretty freaking sad when you realize you wish you could be BFF’s with your dental hygienist, lol.
Post # 3
I feel the same way! I lack any friends where I live, and I’ve been here for 6 months, and when I talk to random strangers I’m always thinking wow they should be my friend!!
Post # 4
@AquaGrey8962: Dude. Ask your dental hygenist to go on a girl’s lunch or something fun. She is clearly an pretty nice person, if she doesn’t want to she’ll say no. Or, just get out and do something you’ve been interested in… yoga, crafts, volunteering… it is a great way to meet people, and make some new girlfriends.
Post # 5
Me too! I used to have some pretty awesome (and not-so-awesome) girl friends, but we drifted apart for various reasons.
I’m crossing my fingers that the budding friendship I have with my coworker actually goes somewhere.
Post # 6
Why don’t you go on meetup and look for activities where you can meet other girls and maybe make some great girly friends?
I have done something similar before and met some great girls!
Post # 7
@GoldStar: I think people are intimidated by me, because i’m 6′ tall. I try and smile and look friendly, (I tend to have that “bitch face”…where I look pissed off, but in reality, I’m in a good mood) but yeah… about 99% of the time, no one talks to me, or sits next to me. Blargh. I’m going back to college this fall, but I’m not exactly looking to hang out with 18-22 year olds. I’m hoping there’s more people my age there.
Post # 8
@dannielle89: that’s a great idea! i always feel weird going somewhere new by myself… it’s an anxiety-thing
Post # 9
I feel the same way. Its not that I can’t make friends but I live in a town where a lot of people come for a year and then move on so a lot of my friends leave or are going to so I never get super close to them. Its really hard and I miss having a close group of girls.
Post # 10
@AquaGrey8962: I’m in college (a senior) and there are a lot of girls/ladies there who are non-traditional students. Some are in their late 20s/early 30s and some are moms with kids of various ages. I actually haven’t met all that many 18-22 year olds. My closest school friend is 26. Depending on your major, it shouldn’t be too hard to meet some people!
Post # 11
@AquaGrey8962: Yes, but sometimes stepping out of your “comfort zone” is what you need to do to see some serious changes. The “tried and true” clearly isn’t working for you as your post indicates. I totally hear you on the “bitch face” – I have it too. I got accused of um, “hating” people b/c I always look pissed off. B/c of that, your best bet is go to a meet up where you are expected to talk a lot b/c then you can show everyone there that you really are in a good mood and hopefully meet some friends. What are your hobbies? It’s always easiest to go to a meet-up where you know the object of interest. Do you like to read? I’m sure there are plenty of book clubs in your area, and these tend to be a female thing. Do you like art? Chicago has some great museums from what I hear so I bet there is an art museum meet-up.
You said you are going back to college, right? Is the college a commuter school (majority of students commute to campus not live on campus)? I ask b/c commuter schools tend to attract more non-traditional students, which gives you the option of meeting people more in your desired age group there.
Also, do you work? It really depends on the workplace, but a few of my better friends, I met at my past jobs. So keep your eyes open for that option as well.
Post # 12
I feel the same! Be my friend? I’m in a very male dominated field so most of my friends are guys. And I’ve always gotten along with guys better anyway. But I loooove talking to random girls about my wedding!
Post # 13
I was thinking you were me for a minute (1 best girl friend, several best guy friends) until you said she was mean! That is unfortunate but I do want to let you know you are not alone on the girlfriend thing. I think wedding planning is probably the hardest time in your life to be a woman and not have a gaggle of girlfriends, it makes you feel like there is something wrong with you. Of course if you want more girl friends (and especially if the one you do have isn’t too nice) you should seek them out – I’m sure going back to college will help, I’m sure there will be some people more around your age.
However, try not to beat yourself up over not having a big group of girl friends. You are that way for a reason. I personally get along better with guys (though I can certainly get along with women as well, I just have developed fewer close relationships with them) and I always have. Of course these guys aren’t going to go to my wedding shower and my bachelorette (I know they could, but I don’t want them to) and so my bach is just my sis and BFF and my shower is just them and family. It stings a bit to not have a stereotypical female celebration, but I have to keep reminding myself that I have the friends I have for a reason and post-wedding I will never care again about not having a female posse to invite to events!
Post # 14
@AquaGrey8962: I can relate to this! I’m 5’11. I’ve always been a girly girl, but i’ve also had people be intimidated by me. I’ve also usually had an easier time making friends with guys. You have the bees, though! I know sometimes local meet ups happen-you should hook up with the chicago girls.
Post # 15
@AquaGrey8962: Yeah, it can be very frustrating to be in an environment with 18-22 year olds, particularly if you have different agendas. (For instance you work and go to school… they half-go-to-school and full time party).
I realize my advice probably wasn’t the easiest, but it was something I had to do, too. I am a super-anxious person and when most of my good friends moved out of our college town I struggled for 1 year + to really find a decent niche of friends. It doesn’t help when you don’t drink, but you aren’t really a church person (both the bar scene and church scene are pretty big in my area). But I did meet people in yoga and volunteering, and then through some of my FI’s friends from his grad program, and his friend’s girlfriends. It has been much nicer. That middle time in between really, really sucked though.
First impressions are just that. Maybe someone might look at you and think you look a bit harsh, but honestly, after a few minutes of conversation with you, that will go away.
Post # 16
I can relate big time! I am lucky that I have 2 awesome best girl friends, but they live a few hours away. We moved last summer for my BFs job (and luckily my company had a facility nearby and I was able to transfer). I’m glad I have 2 great girlfriends that I can call and talk to anytime, but it really stinks not having anyone locally to do stuff with. I used to get manicures and pedicures twice a month with my girls, I was in a salon alone the other day when a group of 3 girls came in together and were laughing and having a great time. It just made me sad. We have lived here almost a year and I haven’t made any female friends. My office is mostly male and the closest female in age to me is 61 (I’m 29). I really wish there was some easy way to make friends as a grownup!