- 7 years ago
- Wedding: October 2011
I’ve complained about this particular Bridesmaid or Best Man before. But as of yesterday, I actually wish I hadn’t asked her to be a Bridesmaid or Best Man.
There have been many small things that have bothered me – mainly the fact that she’s offered to help my Maid/Matron of Honor with things such as the bridal shower, planning the bachelorette, etc, and never followed through. Her Boyfriend or Best Friend comes first – in most cases I could understand, you’re in love, I get that, but can’t she put aside a couple hours once a MONTH to help?
Anyway a couple weeks ago I had asked her if she could come over this Sunday to help me with a small wedding related task. She said “Sure I’d love to” and asked what time. Yesterday, she asked if we could switch times because she wanted to spend time with her Boyfriend or Best Friend, but if not she could still come at the decided time. I told I already had plans for the rest of the day so that wouldn’t work…but the underlying message was “I don’t really want to come help you anymore, but if I have to I will.” I’m not going to force people to come help me and especially if you’ve got something better to do, you’ll just be counting down the minutes until you can leave. She didn’t offer to come at the decided time again, so I said I’ll manage on my own and she happily said okay well if you don’t get it done let me know…
I know it’s such a simple thing, and probably nothing to be angry about, but when it’s a build up of many things, it just hurts that she can’t help me with something for a couple hours on a Sunday afternoon. I haven’t asked ANYTHING special of my BMs. They are wearing their own black dress that 2/3 of them already owned ones they can wear, picking their own shoes, I’m paying for their hair, I don’t want them to pay for anything extra at the bachelorette, etc.
Anyway, my advice to you girls that might be trying to decide who to pick as BMs. Make sure that you’re picking people who you KNOW for sure will be excited to help you with things, people that you want to be in your lives forever and that are truly happy for you. I have 2 friends that I could have asked who would have made much better candidates – One I didn’t ask because I wasn’t one of her BMs…now that I look back…who cares?! She’s offered to help more than my own Bridesmaid or Best Man and been really excited to hear about all the plans and details. The other one I thought wouldn’t be helpful and would bring drama, but now we’re not even friends anymore because she was upset I didn’t choose her. Big mistake on my part.
Hopefully SOMEONE can learn from my mistake! And thanks for letting me vent.