(Closed) I wish my family was more supportive *Vent* Please Help!

posted 6 years ago in Family
  • poll: What would you do?
    Cancel Wedding : (8 votes)
    20 %
    Try to extend wedding date : (23 votes)
    56 %
    Continue with the same wedding date : (5 votes)
    12 %
    Other : (5 votes)
    12 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    4676 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: August 2012

    Is scaling the wedding back an option for you?  Have a smaller casual reception at a park or town hall or in a back yard? 

    Post # 5
    Member
    399 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: June 2012

    Postpone the wedding. You need to be realistic, you can’t have a wedding or plan one when you can’t pay for it. Just wanting to get married isn’t a good enough reason to put stress on yourself your man or your family.

    These people are only trying to look out for you and are trying to help. Move your date back a good 6 months with your venue. See how things ago over the next few months.

    Tell your parents you have decided to put the wedding on hold until you have a better financial situation. I think you’ll be surprised how relived your family and man will be without that pressure hanging around. Imagine how stressed your man must feel trying to find a job and knowing you want this wedding that he’s struggling to provide it, its not fair.

    One reason your parents may not be supportive could be because they would feel obligated to get you out of a jam if your money plans full through and they are forced to pay for your wedding you just had to have and weren’t willing to wait for. They only love and care about you.

    Just remember your dream wedding will be well worth waiting for.

    Post # 6
    Member
    1252 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: November 2011

    Financial stability and indepence are huge issues for me, I personally would not proceed with a wedding if there was any chance we’d be so broke or in debt that we’d have to rely on or live with family members.  Since money is the number one cause of divorce, your parents are correct to be concerned that you are planning to enter into a marriage on unstable ground financially.  Postpone it until you both have decent jobs, money in the bank for the wedding, and an emergency fund in case of another lay off.

    Post # 7
    Member
    186 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: July 2010

    Honestly, in your situation, I would elope.  It’s something my now husband and I almost had to do.  Luckily, we got away with just being able to scale back the event and cut the budget to the bare necessities.

    Post # 9
    Member
    171 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: May 2012

    I say secretly elope and get married at the courthouse while postponing the actual wedding for your families.  Or secretly elope and continue on with your original planning in good faith that everything works out.  But I would hate for you to put yourself in a situation where you go forward with the wedding as planned for Dec. and end up racking up bills that you and your new husband end up in debt over.  Not a fun way to start out your new life together. 

    Post # 10
    Member
    3569 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: April 2013

    For some people eloping is right, if it’s not for you don’t do it. There is nothing wrong with postponing the wedding until you can afford it and are not stressed about it. You and your Fi should decided on a date where if he doesn’t have a job yet you guys postpone. Most places will return your money if someone rebooks, given that dec isn’t wedding season that may not happen for you. If you post pone, ask the current venue if they would mind letting pick another date they might be willing to be flexible with you.

    ps: I don’t think you guys need to buy a house right now, but sometimes having family caution us and tell us what we don’t really want to hear, is them supporting you.

    Post # 11
    Member
    226 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: August 2007

    I’d recommend postponing the wedding or scaling it back to a much simpler affair.  I don’t think it’s right to begin your marriage in debt.  There is nothing wrong with postponing the wedding if there is no money…I think that’s a financially sound decision.  HTH.

    Post # 13
    Member
    967 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: July 2013

    I dunno…you don’t have to have a “wedding” to get married….my Fiance and I waited until NOW when WE CAN AFFORD a wedding to have one…we’ve lived together for 7 years….

     

    I guess it’s about priorities…to us, we’re already married, we just want the party now…and we have worked hard and earned it…..

     

    unfortunately, since your Fiance has no job, I really don’t think marriage is a great step to take…and if he really wanted a job he would take what he could get….regardless if it’s serving coffee at some coffee shop or what he wants…..

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