Post # 17
I think I’m gorgeous…until I see a photo of myself. I just chalk it up to not photographing well. 🙂
For me it’s important that I feel good when I look in the mirror and most days I do, so I try not to think too much into how others see me.
Post # 18
It’s similar to being spoiled. Everyone treats you nicer than other people, but you get used to it so you don’t take much pleasure in it or have much gratefulness about it. It starts to feel owed to you. Meanwhile, you don’t tend to push yourself as hard, personality-wise especially.
The reason why spoiled people become brats is because it’s not as fun as it looks: they’re not as happy as those looking in would expect. A good personality does not just benefit other people, it also makes your own life happy and meaningful.
When a spoiled brat finds herself penniless and alone, it’s a very hard hit for her… she may even become suicidal, because she can’t handle it (males can be spoiled brats too, I’m just using a female example).
Similarly, looks inevitably fade, and very beautiful people have a very hard time adjusting to life, “post-gorgeousness.”
I’m not gorgeous, this is not from personal experience, but rather from reading the research about it, and seeing that it does in fact correspond to my personal observations of such supposedly “lucky” people. My view is that the “average” person is actually luckier than both the spoiled/gorgeous or shortchanged/unattractive one.
Post # 19
@lolot: There is a lot of truth to this, more than some would like to admit.
I’m not saying I’m gorgeous but I do think I am pretty (just wish I was thinner, sigh…working on it). I am constantly told by friends that I was fortunate to grow up fatter and to have lost weight. Apparently that means you get the personality and the looks. Yeah, can you believe people actually say that? Apparently if you are pretty from the get go you don’t develop those friendlier traits that we normal or fatter people need to get by.
OP I’m sure that lady is gorgeous but so are you! Your DH married you because of all the people you were the one that he wanted to spend the rest of his life with, end of story! 🙂
Post # 20
@JLR1982: I used to think this way but not anymore. Everyone has insecurities, a lot of really pretty people I know have told me that it irks them because everyone thinks they’re shallow, they don’t have to work for it (they do), they’re ditzy or just unintelligent. So even people who don’t know them treat them rude. For them it’s almost like they have to overcome their appearances to be taken seriously. I once read that, in the professional world, extremely attractive people have less of a chance of getting hired than those who are average or just above average.
I don’t think that they’re all bitchy or that some of them even realize how pretty they are, one of the MOST BEAUTIFUL girls I know has issues with cystic acne, hates her shoulders, even though she is tiny she doesn’t like her body type etc. Like I said, some of the ones we think are the prettiest have to work for it – they’re at the gym everyday, they spend money on their hair, makeup, clothes – etc. It’s just a matter of how important it is for you to be “pretty.”
edit: I also want to add that while you’re thinking about how nice it must be to look like that girl, there is probably someone who looks at you and thinks of how nice it must be to look like you. I remember I was complaning to a coworker one day about how I hate being fat (size 18 at the time) and she turned to me and told me she’d kill to be a size 18, she was quite a bit bigger than I was. It made me feel shallow and ungrateful for what I do have so now when I’m envious of other girls I start thinking about how there are probably people out there who think the same about me.
Post # 21
I always remember a quote I heard: “One man’s dream is another man’s nightmare.” No matter how beautiful looking she may be.
Post # 22
@housebee: +1 That was probably the sweetest response I have seen in a very long time!(:
Post # 23
@JLR1982: I’ve been told by many people throughout my life that I’m beautiful/gorgeous. Some days I see it, others I do not.
Yeah, I would never complain about my good looks… but especially since I’m shy, a lot of girls especially have thought I was a total bitch. I’m actually really nice once you get to know me.
I stopped having any close male friends long ago because I was uncomfortable with being constantly hit on. It always inevitably happened.
Also, since as Joya points out, I have been used to the perks of being “gorgeous”, it hit me really hard when I put on weight. I’m now quite a ways out of my healthy BMI range, I could easily lose 30 lbs. and am trying to lose the weight, but my figure definitely isn’t what it used to be. I am totally struggling with self confidence issues since so much of my self worth came from how I looked throughout my life. I always got good grades, but people always focused on my looks more than anything. I am also terrified of aging.
I am sure your SO thinks you’re gorgeous. Some people find classicially beautiful people not to be that great. It all depends. Everyone is different.
Post # 24
@lolot: I know the kind of woman you’re talking about, but we are only as beautiful as our character. And not all externally beautiful women are mean, manipulative, etc. just people, like any group identified by their looks. Not all the same.
Op, I know it’s sold as the best thing ever, but the truth is a bit more complicated. I could tell you some sad stories since i work around some famous and also gorgeous people, but I know no one wants to hear it or would believe it. Take heart if someone loves you for who you are instead of how you look, since looks only last for a short while.
ETA also, as others have said, ill bet your Fiance thinks you are the most gorgeous woman on the planet.
Post # 25
Sorry to post again but I thought this was extremely appropiate, I love Tina Fey.
Post # 26
@HappinessIsInDaisies: “Unfortunately, our lovely society says we should all have the dainty hands & feet, light/no hair of chinese woman, blue caucasian eyes, mediterrean tans, big pouty lips, slender face, Beyonce’s behind, indian long hair, large breasts, curvy hips but a tiny waist…be 6 feet tall, 100 lbs… and then airbrushed…”
The only person on the planet who comes close to that is Kim Kardashian. And we all know she was created by Russian scientists to sabotage our athletes.
Post # 28
Well, you can always remember my husbands “fav” quote: “show me the most beautiful woman in the world, and I will show you a guy who is tired of f***** her”
Crass and sad- but the core of it does mean something. Everyone, from a distance, can look like a shiny new thing to someone. It is the meat and potatoes of a relationship that holds the attention. Don’t worry over someone else, there will always be someone prettier/thinner/smarter/funnier. All you can do is try and be the best version of you that you can possibly be.
Post # 29
I feel this way every time I see a gorgeous girl! Then I spend the rest of my day feeling hideously unattractive.. I’m kind of glad I’m not the only one!
Post # 30
@joya_aspera: I’m intrigued by your lucky theory. Maybe you can expound on it in a new thread. It might be interesting to hear your thoughts.
Post # 31
@Nona99: Best thing I’ve read all day.
I wonder this too, but I honestly don’t think it’d be fun. To have everyone’s eyes on you all the time, judging, lusting, whatever, no thank you. I like the way I look (although I know I should lose weight, but more for health reasons); I’m pretty plain but I’m proud of certain features, like my eyes. I like that I don’t get a second glance most of the time, but that I get compliments here and there when people do look closely, and when I make the effort to play up my good features.