Post # 32
@JLR1982: EVERYONE thinks that about someone else. I had an eye-opening experience a while back at my gyno’s office. The nurse runing my vitals & records commented on my height & weight- it’s the same as hers, but she was all “but you look waay more petite & skinnier than me”….. And I was thinking “Youre crazy, you look waay more petite & skinnier than me”….. Then reality hit, we are the exact same size & weight and we are both crazy for thinking that way. You just can’t see it because like PPs have said- the grass is always greener on the other side!
Who knows- that gorgeous girl you see all the time might have some crazy issues- like picking her nose in public & eating it, or farting out loud without an excuse me, or likes to eat poop sandwiches- not so gorgeous anymore eh?
Post # 33
@JLR1982: When a good man chooses a woman to be his wife, she becomes in his eyes the most gorgeous woman in his world, because she is “his”. While he may admire the beauty of women like the girl you mention, don’t worry about him thinking things like “I wish Sarahjmm looked like that”. It’s not like that.
Now about what it’s like to be gorgeous. I was best friends in school with a stunning girl. Being with her day after day I noticed the following:
– doors were literally and figuratively opened for her (job offers, social invitations, and literal doors opened)
– people were friendlier than usual to her, especially men
– if she needed it, it was easy to find help or find someone to do her a favor, even without her having to ask
– freebies. LOL one time we were sitting on a bench and a beverage truck passed by. The guy stopped and without saying a word just gave her (and me, since I was with her) some of the OJs he was transporting. 😀 She also received stuff like candy and wild flowers from random strangers. Another time we went to a historical building and a guide took us on a spontaneous private tour even though we hadn’t booked anything.
– things like crossing a busy street, finding a taxi, getting a good bus seat, etc were easy with her
and so on. The above may sound like people just being “nice”, but it wasn’t the norm when I was alone or with other friends. The common denominator in all those situations was that she was present.
Post # 34
@LilRhodyGem: Well, it was mostly for the reasons I described above. It’s not lucky to be privileged in a way that stunts your development as a person, especially if there’s any chance you could lose that privilege. Many once-big celebrities don’t handle sliding to the D-list very well. (never mind that some of them don’t handle being on the A-list for very long without starting to lose it a bit, too).
I also read that men don’t tend to prefer to marry the “gorgeous” girl. Yes, they want to sleep with her, but do they want to marry her? The answer may surprise some women. Their wife is beautiful, to them, but they intentionally tend to avoid the woman so popularly beautiful that she is mainly known for her looks. They don’t actually believe that such a person is likely to make the best life partner.
I know, I know, the phenomenon of “trophy wives” bucks that trend, but that’s not typical and more to the point: if you think at length about it, would you really want to be a “trophy wife”? those relationships aren’t healthy, and those women are rarely happy. You can often see the writing all over her face. Snobby about it? Perhaps. Joyful and content? I haven’t seen that much from those people, have you?
I don’t mean to put down very gorgeous women, this isn’t meant to be sour grapes about not having what they have. They really do have more challenges than us in these areas, and in the short term it seems like the benefits outweigh them, but in the long term, it seems to be the reverse. If one is born gorgeous, can she buck these trends, develop a deep and rich personality, figure out her calling and how she wants to make the world a better place, achieve it and excel at it, and find a husband/wife that sees her for her, not her appearance, and wants no one else but her, ever, come hell or highwater? Absolutely. And so can a person who is not conventionally attractive. However, there are fewer barriers to those goals in the way for those of us in the middle.
Post # 35
I hope this post doesn’t come off the wrong way… I’m sometimes not very good at getting my point across accurately! That being said… I have a decent face, I’ve been told (in my temporary slim phase) that I looked like Charlize Theron and such. However, I’ve always struggled with my weight, and my skin. I was 185lbs (at 5’6″) in grade 11. I STILL struggle with acne at the age of 28. However, there was a magical 2-year phase of my life at 22-23 where I lost a LOT of weight because of the side-effects of medication after an injury, and I went down to 120lbs. During that time, I also went on Accutane, and my skin magically cleared up. It didn’t last forever though, since I could only afford 1 out of two $700 cycles. And, unfortunately, my love of food has caused me to balloon back up to 160.
Here is my sad observation of what I call my “good years” – I was happier, more free to say and do what I really felt like (if you’re pretty, whatever you do and say is immediately acceptable and “cool”), felt more comfortable in my body and my life than ever before. It was magical, and honestly kinda surreal. I’m determined at this point to get back there, and not just because of superficial things, because I do feel that I’m a quality person who is empathetic, sympathetic, and genuine due to my hard teenage years, but because I felt SO comfortable with myself. It just took that physical insecurity away and I felt a weight off my shoulders!
Post # 36
I would like to look like a better version of myself, but I don’t want to be too pretty. I wouldn’t enjoy the male attention. At least at the moment, I know people don’t like me for my looks!
Post # 37
Beauty is so subjective. We, by nature, see the beauty in others but fail to see it in ourselves. So yes, some people are gifted with a more attractive outer appearance, but we all have something that’s better and more beautiful than anyone else. For example, my eyelashes are awesome! They are long and thick and black. People constantly think I’m lying when I say I’m not wearing mascara.
Never mind my hideous feet, the fact that I’ve gained so much weight in the past 2 years, my similtaneously dry and greasy hair, my ashy elbows, etc. My eyelashes are awesome!
Plus, when it comes down to it, being a beautiful person inside will always get your further than being a beautiful person outside. Guarenteed.
Post # 38
I have wondered this so many times as well.
However, the thing is I know that my SO is wiht me, not because I am achingly beautiful or classically gorgeous or something but because he genuinely enjoys my company.
If I was actually beautiful I probably would have to worry whether a guy was with me simply because I made good arm candy or because he liked me for who I am.
I still would like to be drop dead gorgeous for 24 hours just to see what it’s like.
Post # 39
@Mrs_Amanda: my dad always said “show me the prettiest girl In the world, and I’ll show you a guy who is tired of her shit.”
Also, I’m sure most of you have seen this, but this is amazing. Really shows ourselves we are our own worst critics! Check it out if you haven’t seen the Dove commercial with the forensic sketch artist.
Post # 41
@JLR1982: Um yep! That is me too. I’m not hideous or anything, but I think I am just quite plain. I do wonder what it would be like to be super beautiful. I can’t decide if it would make life easier or more of a pain with annoying people trying to hit on you.
I am sure your Fiance, just like mine, probably likes to look at beautiful women, and might imagine sleeping with them. But mine says, a person is not just a body and it’s much more about who’s inside it!
Post # 42
People always tell me I’m gorgeous. Random ppl ask me if I’m a model all of the time. (God i sound just awful saying this!) I guess I think I’m pretty enough, but I assure you I don’t walk around thinking I’m the cats ass! Everywhere I go I think girls are prettier, skinnier, have bigger boobs and better skin. I don’t think anyone, anywhere is *completely* satisfied with the way that they look. And I think that is pretty much a direct result of the warped image of beauty we are fed constantly in our photoshopped and airbrushed society. I wear a size 0/2 and I’m 6’1. One modeling agency told me I’d have better luck at a 00.
Post # 43
I’m not drop dead gorgeous, but I feel like I’ve gotten more attractive as I progressed out of high school and college, and to be honest, I don’t like the way it feels. I feel like my intelligence isn’t taken as seriously, relationships with men are slightly awkward, and people expect me to put effort into looking good when I don’t feel like it.
I find I like to wear not-stylish clothes with no makeup because it provides a better people-filter. It’s easier to have genuine relationships with people when looks and status aren’t in the picture.
I’m American, but I lived in a small hippy town in Australia for a few months. When I first got there, I thought people had really low standards or were disingenuous with their compliments. People would say “So and so looks beautiful today!” when all I’d see is a bad haircut and ugly shoes. At some point, I had the sad realization they were seeing beauty that I couldn’t see. I certainly can see it now, and I’ll never go back to finding someone beautiful against standards.
Post # 44
I definitely agree with the ease that beautiful people have. Beautiful people have free things thrown at their feet constantly. I noticed in college (and grad school) how the beautiful girls always got passes on papers form the all-male faculty. If I asked a question, I was started down. But if they asked a question (the dumb, stupid, obvious questions in the ditziest possible voice), the profs would chuckle and answer and caress their egos….
Post # 45
apparently , according to this woman, being beautiful is a curse!!! so be grateful for what you have!!
i often think “i wish i had smaller legs, bigger boobs, nicer skin, etc etc” but then i think of people who have lost a limb, who have cancer etc and im just so grateful for being given a healthy body that functions and never lets me down. might not be perfect but eh, it works!
Post # 46
I wouldn’t call myself gorgeous, but I’m good looking enough that there are definitely some cons.
First – sometimes I question whether people actually like *me* or like the concept of me. Like does *my* personality actually matter, or would they still be around if I looked the same but was a completely different person (both guys and girls). And trust me, it’s a shitty feeling when you think the guy in bed with you might only be there because of your proportions.
Also – I’ve had guys’ girlfriends/wives say they couldn’t be friends with me. Which sucks. Even guys who I’ve never ever in a zillion years had a thing for, or hit on, and whose significant others I’ve tried to make feel welcome. I’m a big believer in respecting others’ relationships, but it still sucks to lose a friend when you’ve done nothing wrong just because their girlfriend/fiance/wife isn’t comfortable with the idea of it.
The expectation to be dumb can also be there. So I try to be especially witty/sarcastic/throw in some news tidbit in the first 5-10 minutes of meeting someone so they don’t get the change to pidgeon hole me too quickly… although on the rare occasion, I do come across as a bitch or insensitive when the joke misses its mark with a misgauged target.