(Closed) I wonder what it's like to be gorgeous?

posted 8 years ago in Beauty
Post # 47
Member
518 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

@JLR1982:  Yup I think about that all the time too. Totally not healthy but I gotta be honest. I happen to think FH’s exes are all prettier than me. Everyone says otherwise, but I don’t see it! I think they were all way cuter.

Eh well.

Post # 48
Member
871 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

The other day I went shopping and saw an amazingly beautiful girl. Perfect skin, face, body and hair. Later we happened to be in the changing rooms at the same time. She was telling her friend how she was disgusted by her thighs and hated her hips. I hate mine too! In passing I complimented the dress she was trying on and she replied with a “really?? Thanks!” And seemed relieved.

 

No matter what WE see in other people, they will almost always have some insecurity!

 

Post # 49
Member
2953 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

@joya_aspera:  Your thoughts were very interesting to read regarding beauty, happiness, marriage and men. Good read. Thanks.

Post # 50
Member
492 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

@JLR1982:  My husband always said the “hot” girls are the confident girls.

Post # 51
Member
492 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

@LovelyLaura:  SO TRUE! Sometimes people need to remember this 🙂

Post # 52
Member
7974 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2013

just because she has beauty doesn’t mean she has brains.

Post # 53
Member
1202 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

Hmm…I know a lot of REALLY pretty girls…and they’re all a little dumb. So I just tell myself that I’m beauty and brains, ha! Although, Fiance met one of these REALLY PRETTY girls a few weeks ago and said “THAT’S who you think is SOO gorgeous? She’s really pretty average”. So…I think our men just like us, so that’s nice.

When Fiance and I first started dating he remarked that he was lucky I grew up in a small town/went to a small HS. When I asked him why, he said “normally girls as pretty as you are really b*tchy, but you had to be nice to everyone since there were so few options for friends!”. Silly boys.

Post # 54
Member
1015 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

@lolot:  My sister and I call it the ‘Pretty Curse’

Not only do most gorgeous women we know act with very little social grace they also cannot do much for themselves. They had everything handed to them because they were pretty so they never learned how to do things the rest of us had to do.

I had a girlfriend who cannot cook and only dates men who can. I have another who doesn’t even have a driver’s license – she gets friends from work, etc to pick her up.

I have also seen the sad side of it. People don’t generally walk up and start a conversation with a gorgeous woman because they are intimidated (men and women both). Also, if they have tried to overcome the innate, evolved bitchiness – they still can’t make friends at new places because other women assume they are terrible people.

Also, its almost half and half that the boss or superiors in the boss will love or hate you. Hate – because they never were afforded all of the same opportunities or just hold a general disdain for the pretty folk.

The pretty girls also have to deal with being singled out for minor offenses that others could get away with because someone will at all eyes have thier eyes on them.

There are other things we have catalogued but I can’t think of them right now. But yeah, we call it the pretty curse.

Post # 55
Member
3380 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

I’d describe myself as above average in the looks department…but I wasnt always that way, which gave my personality time to develop. I was just painfully not-cute until about 19 when I grew out of my awkward stage.

I think it’s kind of ridiculous to assume that because someone is good looking they have no personality. I think there are alot of gals out there that were the fat, picked-on kid in school and “got pretty” later in life. When I was “ugly”, I was involved in theatre, painting, singing and writing…and 10 years later, I still have the same interests and abilities. I think sometimes people see a good looking girl who can bring something to the table other than their looks and *want* them to be just a pretty face. They *want* them to be dull, or a bitch…but this isnt always the case.

@JLR1982: like others have said, you can be the juiciest peach out there, but not everyone likes peaches. There are people that tell my boyfriend I’m gorgeous and people that tell my friends they think I’m average at best. Everyones tastes are different 🙂

Also, I promise that gorgeous girl has plenty of her own insecurities. As you’ve seen above, lots of people want to assume that all pretty people are stupid, so you’re constantly fighting this uphill battle to prove to people (read: other women) that you have a head on your shoulders. On top of that, I’d venture to say the reason alot of gorgeous girls are so gorgeous is that they work at it *constantly*. I know I do, and I know it stems directly from getting picked on as a kid. I’ve never been able to shake it, and I channel it into my appearance.

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@starbuckslover:  THIS. +10. My boyfriend had a buddy a few years ago call him, super embarrassed, and tell him that if he was going to come to a pool party they were throwing he’d need to leave me at home. Why? I quote “Sarah (his fiance) isn’t comfortable with badabing88 being there in a bikini.” Shame, shame, shame.

Post # 56
Member
615 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2013

I have a friend who got tons of attention when we were both single.  Like I once saw a guy fall out of his chair when she walked by.  Really?  Anyway, I asked her about it once, did she ever get tired of all the attention and she had no idea what I was talking about.  Whether it was real or fake, she didn’t notice it.

She had a PhD too, so she was a smart, gorgeous girl.  She has a hard time dating, always has.  One bad relationship to the next. 

Post # 57
Member
9168 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

Beauty is subjective. What some find attractive, others do not.

There’s always going to be someone prettier, smarter, richer, etc. than you out there. Be happy with yourself and the life you have – it’s the only one you got and it doesn’t last forever, might as well enjoy it while you can.

Post # 58
Member
205 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

Wow… I’m not sure how I feel about all the comments about how if you grow up good-looking, you’re obviously missing something in some other department. Why do we feel the need to see a beautiful woman and impose negative attributes onto her? Why can’t we just appreciate her? 

 

I have a lot of beautiful female friends who are intelligent and generous and have great personalities (and no, they didn’t have to grow up ugly to gain these things!) 

 

I have some “less objectively attractive” friends who are also intelligent/generous/have great personalities…

 

And finally, I also have a couple of attractive friends who have bad attitudes, and some less attractive friends with bad attitudes. 

 

See where I’m going? I think that assuming that someone is dumb or bitchy or entitled just because she’s beautiful might make you fall into the bad attitude category, at least in this instance.

 

A lot of this thread seems to be really woman-bashing. Let’s just appreciate each other and not judge based on superficial things.

 

And…as pp’s have said, everyone is beautiful in their own way, we’re our own worst critics…and it’s the personality and attitude that make up most of one’s beauty. So let’s stop demeaning each other! 🙂

Post # 59
Member
3380 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

@LoverFace2000:  THANK you. In my opinion, making sweeping comments about all pretty women being stupid or mean is mighty transparent……

Post # 60
Member
459 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

This is going to sound so conceited, and I am very sorry for this because I do not like talking or acknowledging my looks like this. But since the discussion is around “gorgeous women” and a distinction has been made between those that have always been gorgeous and live in a bubble so to speak and those who grew into their looks and therefore have better personalities because of it. 

First I will agree that beauty is so subjective that this is a very difficult topic to compare. 

I am a mixed race woman who is 125lbs, very fit because I work at it and blessed with a face I have constantly been told is “stunning”, “gorgeous”, “beautiful”, etc.  I am constantly compared to Halle Berry and Rihanna, and sometimes Eva Mendez when my hair is long. My face has always been described as such, but I was not treated differently within my family – meaning I still had a ton of chores, rules to follow, certainly not spoiled. We were also lower income. I think the way a “gorgeous” person grows up influences the way they behave and interact with the world. It is not just their beauty, but an overall combination of factors.

My experience is that on the one hand, yes I do notice I get treated differently by strangers in a more friendly manner. I do get special treatment so to speak in everyday life from those I don’t know. People just seem nicer if that makes sense. BUT, I also have to live with the terrifying reality that most men believe beautiful women are there to be gawked at, harrased, assaulted, etc. Whether strangers, friends, family members, you name it. My experience has led to me ensuring I am tough, don’t put up with their shit and can take a grown man down if I have to with my bare hands, because I am scared for my safety. Having to fight off your own cousins and uncles is god-awful.

I am currently in a Master’s program that is comprised of mostly men. My two thesis supervisors are men, and I have had to prove my worth several times in the last few months because the underlying assumption is “you aren’t good enough or smart enough to be here” even though I have a 4.0 and full academic scholarship that I earned without their help. I have two friends in the program who are very gorgeous women and they have had the same experience even though they are both accomplished health researchers in the PhD program. 

I know that women can perceive me as bitchy or stand-offish, or too friendly with their boyfriends because of my looks, so I have learned to be extra friendly, open, and honest when making friends to counteract this affect.  It hurts sometimes because I’m a tomboy at heart and always had mostly male friends until I had to change this as an adult because of the drama that ensued with some women. So I lived and learned and adapted. 

Now that experience shaped who I am, while others may have very different experiences that helped shape their personalities. 

 

Post # 61
Member
492 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

Not only do most gorgeous women we know act with very little social grace they also cannot do much for themselves. They had everything handed to them because they were pretty so they never learned how to do things the rest of us had to do.”


Honestly.


 

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