- 7 years ago
Honestly, I just stumbled across this website after another depressing friday night sitting on facebook, watching the golden girls and, typing random relationship questions into google. But, I was pleasently surprised with this website because unlike all the other blogs you read about waiting girlfriends I could actually relate to the other people’s issues and, found myself happy to see other girls wedding dates… girls I have never meet but, that I seriously felt like I knew from their posts.
All of that is besides the point, I wanted to ask your honest opinion on my situation. Me and my boyfriend have been together for 8 years going on 9. We have argued about marriage for probably the last 4. Honestly, I think our biggest hold up is religion. He is religious and, I am honestly, not very religious at all. However, I told him that when I felt we had taken a serious step towards marriage… I would take a step towards being more religious. However, he expects me to become more religious before he proposes. Thus, the stagnation in our relationship. I know him wanting me to take his religion is reasonable but, honestly, it really does hurt my feelings. I feel like we are in love and the fact that I am not his faith can overpower all the other aspects of our relationship and, to be honest… I think it really turns me off from religion even more.
We have had some ruined valentines and anniversiries because, of expectations on my part and breakdowns. Last valentines he seriously went all out…. expensive designer bag, hotel room, dinner and, in the back of my mind all I thought was no proposal… none of the effort meant any thing. All I felt was he cannot commit to me for another year…how much rejection is a girl supposed to take before she just leaves.
We went through college together and, I made justifications that we were still in school…still living off our parents. But then, we went long distance.. and, he seemed more open to the marriage concept. But then, I graduated moved home and, it seems so distant from his mind again. Last summer, he got a well paying internship and, I knew that he was going to ask me…. since, his typical excuse is that he never has income. However, the money came and went with no proposal.
We have had multiple ultimatiums and, I seriously have never been able to leave because, honestly feel like I would be leaving behind my bestfriend… we have been together since I was 14. We said that if at the end of this summer nothing has happened… we would walk away. It is already the 20th of August and, no proposal…. I feel like I have cried wolf so many times and, this time I feel like I am really ready to leave. I said that I would give him till the 1st of october, a mental date that he does not know. I have not made any specific date to the end of summer but, I feel that this is as long as I can wait… and, I dont want any specific date because that ruins the entire surprise. I dont want a proposal out of pressure….My girlfriends are all single and, they say that all they want is to meet a good guy like my boyfriend…but, after a while u are tired of a good boyfriend and ready for more.
Am I in the right? Should I walk away? I feel like I am seriously setting myself up for failure…but, I feel like I am starting to resent him… that in a sense this having to beg him to get it together and, move us into the future is demeaning. I moved home to graduate school and, I assumed that I was making a scarifice for a year to move us into the next step but, I think my bf is seriously ok with being a man child for now and, I am so over the living at home bit. Seriously… his mother calls him at 1 am to ask him where he is!!!! This is a 25 year old man!!! I am ready to get married… get an apartment.. and, start my life but, yet I am still waiting on him decide if I am the right option and, I am tired of being an option and not the choice.