I would like to stop taking BC pills, DH not on board…

posted 2 months ago in Wellness
Post # 2
Member
816 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2018

FutureDrAtkins :  Well I can understand your DHs reservations over natural family planning, particularly since your ideas for when or even IF you’re having have kids don’t line up.  I think your only option is to use condoms from now on.  I really don’t think you should be trying to convince him of anything. 

Post # 3
Member
9694 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2015

FutureDrAtkins :  it’s YOUR health at issue, and so it’s not just about family planning or preferred birth control. Condoms can be the answer for now. You have to prioritize your health. 

Post # 4
Member
3680 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2017 - Poppy Ridge Golf Course

Usually I’m all for compromise but this is your health and your body so you take charge by simply taking charge. I don’t think some men fully understand the roller coaster ride that a lot of women experience with birth control. I’m on the pill and it works well for the most part but there’s a major difference in how I feel not taking it. In your case put your health first. If he’s so concerned about having a baby sooner than later tell him he’s welcome to be responsible for preventive methods by wearing a condom 100% of the time. Also, not to nitpick here but you two don’t seem to be on the same page as far as kids and may want to have a more thorough discussion about that as well. He wants to wait 3-4 years to ‘see’ where you are before attempting to TTC but you want to TTC in 1-2 years? This sounds like an issue.

Post # 5
Member
6107 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: September 2012

Well I’m a firm believer that contraception is not 100% a woman’s responsibility. If I was in your position, I would be putting MY health first and telling DH to get some condoms. In fact, I actually did just that. No condoms = no sex. We’ll see how long he lasts.

When my IUD (mirena) expired, I had it removed and not replaced. I loved my IUD, but knowing I wanted to TTC in the near future when DH was ready, I didn’t want to have it replaced. I also was not interested in going back on the pill. I gave DH a heads up that I was having my IUD removed and so if he wasn’t ready for a baby he needed to get some condoms. In the end we just “no tried, not prevented”.

 

Post # 6
Member
1581 posts
Bumble bee

What about charting, but also using condoms while you get it figured out? Charting isn’t always super black and white, so condoms in the interim could be a good solution until you get a clear feel for your cycles. You could also use condoms during your fertile periods. That is what DH and I did before TTC. I originally was on BC like you, but did some research and had health concerns. DH and I discussed it, and he agreed with my health concerns.

Post # 7
Member
1201 posts
Bumble bee

It’s your body! If you feel better and it’s better for you, don’t get back on the pill! He can use a condom! 

Post # 8
Member
609 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2017

Yes, just use condoms for now. No need to go back on the pill if you feel much better without it. 

Post # 9
Member
3748 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

What about condoms? I remember I had recently switched to a new BC shortly before my now-DH and I started dating. I had horrible side effects from it and felt awful! After several months of dating I told him I was going off of birth control because I couldn’t deal with the side effects, and wasn’t going to try another hormonal birth control to give my body a break from years of hormones. I told him we could use condoms and he said he hated condoms and preferred I go back on the pill. Then I gave him the choice between condoms and abstinence, and he quickly warmed up to the idea of condoms. LOL! He cannot dictate what you put into your body, especially when it’s for your overall health!

Post # 10
Member
1281 posts
Bumble bee

I absolutely hate the way BC affects my body, and I haven’t been on it consistently in about a decade. I’ve tried new forms here and there along the way to see if they would agree with me better, but none have. I am fertile and have never gotten pregnant responsibly using “charting” method combined with POM and condom use.

I can understand your husband’s reluctance – he probably sees this (at least on an emotional level) as an excuse for you to kinda prod TTC along faster than he would like… But he really needs to trust you more than that.

This is YOUR health and YOUR body, and I think you can go BC-free and avoid unwanted pregnancy fairly easily using all the other methods out there. 

Post # 11
Member
1109 posts
Bumble bee

FutureDrAtkins :  Oh, I am sorry to hear about your illness and I think it is great you are taking steps to improve your health. 

To be really honest, I do not get your husband AT ALL. I get kinda ragey when men refuse to step up to the contraceptive “plate” and women are burdened with the full responsibilty and also the full health reprecussions of preventing pregnancy. And these are not neglible side effects. 

Like what gives?!  He is an equal partner and this is about your health!

I think he needs to be reminded that we are now in the year 2017 and preventing pregnancy is a couples issue.

OP, I would be very angry. His attitude is lazy and beyond inconsiderate. He should be working with you to find an alternative and committed to your health not his convenience. If his issues are about efficacy well, damn. He knows how google works. Let him come up with some solutions.  

 

 

 

Post # 12
Member
1708 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2017

What about the nuva ring? I was on the pill for years and years but something changed after my daughter was born and I started getting headaches (I had the mirena six weeks after she was born and I had it for a year before having it removed, it didn’t work out for me)

My Dr mentioned that the hormones in the nuva ring are absorbed differently than the pill. I’ve been using it for three months and I love it, no headaches either.

Did you see the nuva ring in your studies and if it affects a fatty liver?

Post # 14
Member
5192 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: April 2016

Condoms?

I went off BC in October and am currently pregnant with our first child. I told my husband when I went off BC that I would NOT be going back on it ever again. I’ve been in charge of our birth control for the first 6 years together and now it’s his turn (or will be after the baby is born). I didn’t realize until I went off BC how much it effected my body. I’m so happy to be off! Or I was until I get pregnant, now I have a whole bunch of other body issues I’m going through 😉 Guys just don’t realize these kinds of things because they’ve never had to deal with them. 

But it sounds like you and your husband are not on the same page about kids and TTC at all, and that’s concerning. You’re 30 now, which isn’t old, but he wants to wait 3-4 years to “see” where you two are before even thinking about TTC? Is he hesitant about kids in general? It seems like he’s not even sure if he wants kids yet and so the idea of you being off BC and just doing natural family planning scares him because of the possibility of an “accident.” 

Post # 15
Member
816 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2018

FutureDrAtkins :  I definitely wouldn’t recommend charting and pretending you are on the pill so i’m glad you have ruled that out.

Do either of you have a problem with condoms?  You haven’t mentioned that he does.

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