Post # 1
Sorry about the late night rant…
My Boy and I are having our wedding party on Sunday. It’s a very small party – 60 people – and we’re limiting it to family and friends. We only notified the invitees and work people about our very short engagement (4 months, to be exact), because people made remarks about how they’ll be waiting for the invite, or how they ‘better be invited’.
Okay, well… One, we’re young and have better things to spend money on than a party, and two, we like to keep things small and simple. So we kept mum about it.
THEN, we got married at the courthouse last Wednesday. We changed our facebook status from “in a relationship with____” to “married to____” because we were so excited… Which was quickly shot down by a slew of passive-aggressive comments!
Some people commented that they should’ve been invited, someone asked if we didn’t invite them because we didn’t want to feed them (!!), someone PM’d to say that they were sad that they weren’t invited…(!!!)
And these were all people from high school/college that I don’t even talk to any more!!!
We’ve brushed them off by telling them that we’re doing it at a tiny venue and can’t fit in people, but still… The NERVE of some people!!! I’m preparing for the party of my life and it just upsets me that people are trying to rain on my parade. Blargh.
Post # 3
No one has the right to demand a spot on your guest list, no matter who they are. You are the ones who decide who is invited, not them. If they don’t make the cut, oh well too bad. Unfortunately though, that won’t teach them proper manners if they don’t already have them. Ignore them as best you can and don’t let them bully you.
Post # 4
That is so rude of them! You have the right to invite who you want. Miss Manners would say to tell to thank them for their interest, but you are having a small reception. You are totally right – it is rude and real friends would either understand OR they are part of the 60 that are already invited. No worries…a PM on FB is really impersonal anyways.
Post # 5
I agree with you and everyone- that is totally rude and these people have no manners. You know what though, I got married at a courthouse too, and I predicted sh!t was gonna hit the fan when I changed my relationship status.. so the days before we got married I made sure to post things like “We are getting marriesd at the courthouse in X days!” and “So close to being a Mrs. at the courthouse!” to drop hints to everyone that it was happning and not to get all huffy about it. I posted pictures from the courthouse that clearly showed it was just us two there. We are also having a small, intimate ceremony of 50 people that I never mention on Facebook lest people start asking “Where’s my invite?” and blah, blah, blah. I am not planning on putting up pro pictures from it, that way people don’t feel left out when they look at them or whatever. The people that mean the most to me will already be there anyway! Basically, preventative tactics.
But really, how rude of your random buddies to expect an invite! Congrats on your marriage btw!
Post # 6
oh my god this makes me so angry for you. I hope you snapped back with “are you trying to make me feel guilty because its not working!”… ok maybe not that exactly.
i recently got a direct facebook message from someone in my past who has been making comments on my wall about the wedding, this time she came out and asked blatantly if she was invited. All her comments before were tied to her thoughts that she was and it always annoyed me. Perhaps I’m terrible but i got satisfaction with telling her she wasn’t. I just hate when people assume they are invited!
Post # 7
Are any of these people already married? I found when we were planning our wedding that we got these types of comments from people who hadn’t planned a wedding and didn’t realize that it’s not as easy as just inviting everyone you’ve said “hello” to over your lives. Maybe someday if/when they’re planning their own weddings, they’ll understand that.
Post # 8
thats rediculus! Instead they should have been congratulating you!! I wouldn’t even respond to these people, and if you do maybe you and your hubby can put up the same message. Something mentioning their dissapointment (acknowledge their feelings, makes them feel less attacked) how it was small and intimate.
I am sorry you are dealing with stupid people. Congrats on your new married life!
Post # 9
agree with realeastcoaster – The comments I’ve gotten like “I better be invited and I expect a plus 1” have been from the ‘friends’ who’ve I havent spoke to in years and who are nowhere near planning their own weddings.
Post # 10
Eww how incredibly tacky!
Post # 11
Isn’t it strange how a wedding can bring the most random people out of the woodwork and think that they are invited to such a personal day?
Post # 12
I have gotten the “I better be invited” by an old co worker who I havent worked with in two years…who hated my guts when we worked together…we still work in the same building and now everytime she sees me she says “i cant wait for your wedding!” Oh I actually cant wait for the surprise of her finding out she never even crossed my mind when we made our lists! haha.
What is it with people?!?!
Post # 13
I HATE it when people feel they are so priviledged to your private moments. WTF?!?!?!?!?!? Don’t let anyone make you feel like you were “supposed” to invite them to anything, and if they did get invited, that means they are close enough to be blessed with an invitation…where do people get their nerve from?
Post # 14
That’s so incredibly tacky. I’ve already gotten some heat about not inviting people, but nothing like that! Do your best to ignore them, and more importantly, CONGRATS!!
Post # 15
I agree with realeastacoaster–some times these comments come directly from those who have never planned a wedding! Me and my Fiance are planning our June 2011 wedding and before we realized how much it would cost, we were planning on inviting a lot more people! Now we had to bring the guest list down to 100, and thats only our closest family + friends. My Fiance and I decided that we would not invite co-workers, and that looks to be a problem already. I had a co-worker flat out ask me if she was invited. Mind you, I’ve never spent a second outside of work with her, no birthdays, we don’t even talk about our personal lives together–nothing! I told her it was just intimate friends + family. I hate when people just expect to be invited because they know you or knew you. Anyway, as selfish as it may sound, its YOUR wedding, try not to care what other people think (although I really should remember to take my own advice !!).
P.S: I can’t help but be excited about my wedding so I don’t shy away from sharing some of this excitemet on FB even though I’m NOT inviting all of my FB friends…
Post # 16
People are so rude! I hope all went well though!