I'd it possible to have a successful marriage if the couple has nothing in commo

posted 3 months ago in Relationships
Post # 2
Member
3730 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2014

I mean to have lasted 7 years surely you have SOMETHING in common right? Possibly life values and goals? A desire to travel? A love for good food and movies? You can still have your own independent hobbies and interests that don’t involve each other but I find it hard to believe you’ve lasted this long with absolutely nothing in common.

Post # 3
Member
270 posts
Helper bee

I think so, if there is still a mutual love, respect and companionship. I’m not there to judge others relationships unless it’s abusive, but my parents have been happily married for nearly 40 years and don’t have any mutual interests – maybe they did before, but as adults they have faded (my dad is also a caregiver for my mom now so I try to remember before she got ill). They have a loving, peaceful companionship that has a lot of humour and respect behind it. I think it depends on what you mean when you say nothing in common – is this in relation to hobbies and interests, or values? 

Post # 7
Member
4826 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: January 2017

You wrote that you do things together, what sort of things? When you don’t feel like you have interests in common it could be high time to *work* on making each other’s hobbies/passions something you both can share. Try to spark some interest in your fiances hobbies, for ex. Make a weekly card game night, go to a sporting event together, and have him join you to an event you enjoy. Gl

Post # 8
Member
270 posts
Helper bee

Personally that isn’t a flag to me. My hobbies aren’t something that are core to my being so I wouldn’t care if I shared that with a partner. I enjoy having some separate interests from my partner although we do enjoy quite a few of the same as well. To me, shares values are way more important! 

Post # 9
Member
10695 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: City, State

wifetobee63 :  

What kinds of things do you usually talk about?

If you share similar values, I would say you have a lot in common.  And you’re in sync on values, which is far more important than one of you loving golf and the other finding it excruciatingly boring.

What is making you question this now, Bee?

Post # 11
Member
4826 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: January 2017

wifetobee63 :  both of you sound like interesting fun people! I agree with you that you’re worrying unnecessarily.

Post # 12
Member
1083 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2019

wifetobee63 :  After 7 years most couples run out of things to talk about if you don’t mix things up a bit. Fiance and I are about as different as they come, but we do have common ground (like our love of good food, good wine, new experiences)

When Fiance and I are in a bit of a rut, we open a bottle of wine, turn on the news and chat. We both have strong (and often opposing) views on the world around us and it’s a good way to challenge eachother’s thinking. It works for us.

Find something new you both like doing together – it opens up a whole host of ways to connect. Just because you haven’t had much in common in the past, doesn’t mean you won’t do in the future 🙂

Post # 13
Member
1988 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: February 2016

wifetobee63 :  you’ve been a career for the last few months. That’s taxing to both you and your partner. It’s hard and takes up a lot of time. Hobbies fall by the wayside because caring for a loved one becomes the priority. However, it’s important to still carve out that alone time, take care of yourself, do your hobbies, encourage him to do his (gently if he’s still recovering). Having some time apart will give you something to talk about because you’ll have had different experiences. 

Post # 14
Member
1971 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2018

I think as long as your morals and values are the same, then that’s fine

Post # 15
Member
517 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2019

From what you said I’d say you are fine! Opposites attract! Fh loves movies and video games, I love the outdoors and cooking! 

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