Post # 1
I want long dresses for my bridesmaids. It’s going to be chilly/cold and I want the more formal look. My Maid/Matron of Honor has expressed that she does not want long. She prefers short “but anything is okay!”. Then she’ll say something like, “Well, can they at least be tea length?” or “can you at least find something I can shorten and wear again?” So she really doesn’t want long.
I admit, I’m a pushover. And a part of me is wanting to make her wear a long dress just because I want to play the “because I said so card” especially since she’s been “whining” about the long dresses. But, it would be nice if everyone is happy.
What do you Bees think about when the Maid/Matron of Honor stands out from the BMs a bit? What if I put her in a tea-length dress and the rest were in long? Would this look weird? Would she stand out too much? Does anyone have any pics of this?
Post # 3
It’s YOUR wedding! She’ll get over it. I think putting her in a dress with a different length would look weird. Especially since the shorter length is less formal and she’s the Maid/Matron of Honor so shouldn’t be less formal than the rest of the party.
Post # 4
What kind of dress were you looking into getting for the BMs? Seems like a lot of long dresses (not all, but many), could easily be shortened. That way you could get what you want for the wedding day, and if she wants to alter it for her personal use afterward, she can. 🙂
Post # 5
Before this,did you have a way of calling out the Maid/Matron of Honor seperatly? i dont think it would be horrible if hers were different, just remember that this your day!
Post # 6
It’s your wedding, you should pick what you like best.
Post # 7
that’s ridiculous. it will look weird with mismatched lengths.
what about a dress that is shorter in the front but longer in the back? i personally don’t like that look, but if you like it then maybe that would be a good compromise?
Post # 8
I’m glad to see I”m not the only one who thinks it would look bad. It was suggested to me by a friend, but I really don’t like the idea.
I will stick with long then, and hope for the best. Maybe since she is the Maid/Matron of Honor, as a gift, I’ll offer to pay to get it shortened after for her.
Post # 9
Hey I think it is totally fine to havce different dresses for the Bridesmaid or Best Man and MOHs. That’s just me, and my likes are less formal than others on here. I wanted short for all (knee/tea lenght) and my sister spat her dummy a bit saying she wanted long. Because I am a softee and want to make everyone happy, I let her buy one she liked. And it looks ACE. It was not MY choice, but it works well (better if I am honest than what I would have chosen) and looks great on her. Maybe ask her what type of dresses she likes, have a look-see andthen accept or veto. Alternatively, yeah…just tell her you had a vision and you wanted it a certain way and you know she’ll look beautiful in your choice.
If you really want her to be long, as a PP suggests, you can always get a dress shortened. I have put my sis in a different colour coz 1) she got a dress she liked (and looked AMAZING in) 2) she is tiny and the other bridesmaids nearly a foot taller so the off the peg one she got wouldnt fit and 3) I think she secretly wanted to be different. Hey – I am a pushover, but she looks fab and I wanted her to feel happy too.
Post # 10
@MissKit: I think it depends on how much of the bridesmaids’ attire is a priority to you. It’s easy for me to say, “let her wear what she wants” because it’s not a high priority for me (they’re my friends, I don’t care what they look like), but if long dresses are what you envisioned, then go for it. It’s a very nice gesture to offer to shorten it for your Maid/Matron of Honor after your wedding, so I think she’ll understand.
Post # 11
I’d pick the long dress and also give a gift certificate to a dry cleaners that does alterations so she can get it shortened.
Post # 12
- Wedding: April 2013 - Rhode Island
@MissKit: Your Maid/Matron of Honor needs to get with the program. This is YOUR wedding. If you want your BMs to be in long dresses, then she needs to wear a long dress too, smile, and shut up about it. Tell her it’s a formal wedding, which calls for long dresses and that you’d really appreciate her love and support during this stressful planning time. If she’s really your friend, she’ll wear it and not complain.
Post # 13
@MissKit: I think it’s your time not to be a “pushover”. She can wear a short dress at her wedding; long dresses certainly look more formal and can always be tailored short for her personal wear.