(Closed) I'd like to hear about the pros and cons of first looks

posted 5 years ago in Logistics
  • poll: Did you do a first look?
    Yes *reason for this in comments : (46 votes)
    62 %
    No *reason for this in comments : (22 votes)
    30 %
    Other *I can't imagine another option unless you were both wearing blindfolds for the day. : (6 votes)
    8 %
  • Post # 3
    3265 posts
    Sugar bee

    I did it, and I think it was amazing.

    -It was a nice change to just be Fiance and I, no pressure of making sure your face looks a certain way because 100 people are looking at you

    -Also guest experience.  I HATE, I mean HATE a gap.  So there was no way I was going to make anyone wait for us to take pictures at all. 

    -Our ceremony was at 7:30 pm, so taking pictures afterwards wouldn’t have been great for light, or timing.



    Post # 4
    429 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: October 2014

    My SO and I have a very private relationship! I am all for the first look, because I would love for that moment to be more intimate than infront of everyone! 

    Post # 5
    839 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: August 2014

    @Chrysoberyl:  We will be doing one because we’d rather get a good chunk of our pictures done before the ceremony so we can enjoy most of cocktail hour with our guests. 

    Post # 6
    2854 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: August 2015

    I don’t have anything against first looks if that’s what someone wants to do, but we don’t plan on having one..

    First, because I like the idea of the first time Fiance sees me to be when I’m walking down the aisle.

    And, I know a big part of doing a first look is to get all your pictures out of the way before the ceremony. However, I wouldn’t want to do that. I know it would really bug me to know that in all of those pictures, we weren’t actually married yet. Also, we wouldn’t have our wedding bands on yet. I know it’s likely they won’t be seen in a majority of the pictures anyway, but it’s just something that would bother me.

    So if we aren’t taking our pictures beforehand, I don’t see how we would really benefit from doing a first look…so we aren’t doing one.

    But that’s just because I have weird hangups like that!

    Post # 7
    2671 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: July 2013

    We did a first look to have our own special moment and to avoid as much of a gap as possible. It was a sweet, funny, tender moment despite having two photographers there. My Maid/Matron of Honor and his Bridesmaid or Best Man were with us (separately) that whole morning, but they gave us our space to be together. I did not do a first look for my first wedding, and in my opinion neither of us lost out this time around by not waiting til the aisle walk. 

    After the ceremony, the guests had cocktail hour, and we had originally planned to partake of the yummies and mingle, but because I was running late that morning, we pushed back our couple portraits til then. (Family portraits were done before the ceremony.) We still stayed on schedule but missed out on extra cocktails and mingling. Oh well. Pictures were worth it though!

    Post # 8
    617 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: June 2014

    @pineapplez17: +1

    I wont be doing a first look either because I always dreamed about walking down the aisle and seeing his face as he sees me.

    However, I dont think anyone can say one option is better than the other.  Because the reality no one can compare the two since you have only done it one way and of course youre going to think the way you did it is best.  I hope that logic makes sense lol

    Post # 9
    1193 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: July 2013

    We did not do a “first look.” We each stood on a side of the wall outside our venue.  I was able to talk to him, hold his hand, but not see him.  It actually helped calm my nerves and was one of my favorite memories from the day. 

    Post # 10
    7219 posts
    Busy Beekeeper
    • Wedding: October 2015

    @Chrysoberyl:  my SO is very shy. I think if we did a first look he’d get emotional and cry, which I totally want!! If the first time we see each other is in front of 200 guests he will try to hold it together and end up looking bored. Unfortunately, he is totally against the idea of a first look! We have time to hash it out so we shall see. 

    Post # 11
    554 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: September 2013

    We did, and I wouldn’t have done it any other way. I was posed at the top of the staircase so the first time we saw each other it was really romantic. We did couples shots right after which was us just playing and goofing around and we also practiced our first dance to see if we had to make any adjustments for my dress. Afterwards we went back in, about 1 1/2 hours before the ceremony and none of the Wedding Party was dressed. They were all drinking champagne hanging out.  I had to remind them we were doing photos. I think it made the walk down the aisle more special since we were more focused on the moment than looking at each other, and we’re both glad to have been able to spend time with our friends and family during the cocktail hour, that was really important to us. 

    Post # 12
    7561 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: January 2013

    We did a first look. It enabled us to do pictures before the ceremony so we could enjoy the reception with our guests. That was the biggest thing for me. Also, it was nice to have a private moment on such a big, stressful day. It didn’t take away the “magic” of walking down the aisle either! 

    Post # 13
    479 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: May 2014

    I’m still considering it.  He went with me to get measurements done & surprisingly didn’t want to see me in the dress.  But our wedding is @ 6 pm in May & I’d like to get some shots in the daylight…  Excited to see this convo.

    Post # 14
    1218 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: July 2013

    @Chrysoberyl:  I didn’t have a choice – we got married at the registry office, and we had to meet the celebrant beforehand to go through the ceremony and check the marriage certificate and stuff. So it was a logistical thing rather than a photo opportunity.


    However, I’m SO glad we did it. I was absolutely crapping myself with nerves beforehand, to the point where my dad had to take me outside to get some fresh air. I calmed right down when I saw my husband. It was also really nice to have five minutes or so in a room by ourselves before the whole day got started.


    I wasn’t expecting a big emotional reaction from my husband when he first saw me and I didn’t get one, but that wouldn’t have happened if we saw each other when I walked down the aisle. He’s just not that sort of guy! I did tear up though!


    Post # 15
    1032 posts
    Bumble bee

    I considered doing a first look, because our venue space is small, and we’re doing everything ourselves so I wasn’t sure we’d be able to “get away” to take pictures after the ceremony for an hour. But after talking to my sister, and asking her for help with setting up reception things, we’ve now set aside some time after the ceremony for proper picture taking. 

    Post # 16
    9198 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: August 2013 - Rocky Mountains USA

    We did one, partly to have a chance to take some pictures but most importantly, to get a chance to spend a few moments together in all our finery before the craziness hit.  Once your guests arrive and you walk down that aisle, it’s just non-stop crazy action for the whole night.  And while that is wonderful, it’s hard to find any time with your new husband to just reflect on what just happened.  So getting a few minutes to be like, “We’re doing this!!!’ beforehand was really invaluable.

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