Post # 1
Please everyone dont jump down my throat..I’d like to scream or cry anyway…or both. Ok, one of my BM’s is getting married shortly after me…I didnt know that when I asked her to be in my wedding, they weren’t even engaged…and then bam, they are engaged and getting married shortly after(disclaimer: I am NOT saying there is a problem with this, or saying when she should get married or should have gotten engaged..not the point) All of my BMs knew since Oct. what Bridesmaid or Best Man dress they needed to get, how much, and when they should get it by. Well the dresses were suppose to be ordered by mid December, but I felt that was a hard time, it being Christmas so I asked them to be ordered by mid Jan…and I know it doesn’t always take as long as they say for the dresses to come in and blah blah blah. BUT okay, I’m in her wedding too, and she picked out the Bridesmaid or Best Man dresses a month ago…she recently sent our other friend thats also in the wedding a text message and told her to “remind” me that i need to go order my dress! She is the ONLY one out of my BM’s that has not ordered her dress for my wedding and I am getting married almost two months before her…I really don’t know how to take this…I HATE hurting peoples feelings, I just cringe at the thought of someone being upset due to something I did…but I don’t know what to do, it kinda pisses me off that she “reminded” me to get my dress when she hasnt purchased hers for my wedding thats BEFORE hers… (oh and she never gave me a time frame I needed to get it, dont know what it looks like, only thing I was told was how much it costs) just kinda seems like she doesnt give a rats behind about anything to do with my wedding or her anything to do with it. All my other BMs purchased theirs, and it just seems like she doesn’t care to “deal” with my wedding…should I tell her if she wants to back out as a Bridesmaid or Best Man, that I understand..what should I do? Should I just suggest neither of us be in each others weddings.. Just seems like the people that care take care of the things when they are suppose to…HELP(and try to be kind) oh, and sorry this is a novel!
Post # 3
I would kindly remind her that her dress for your wedding should have been ordered weeks ago. If she’s reminding you about ordering your dress for her wedding, then you should totally remind her about ordering her dress for your wedding. I would give her a chance to buy the dress and if she doesn’t then tell her that she can back out if she wants to. She should get the hint.
As for her wedding being soon after yours, I would probably not be too thrilled with that either.
Post # 4
Please don’t scream really loud, my migraine has just calmed down. 🙂
I’d send her an e-mail asking if she’s bought her Bridesmaid or Best Man dress yet. And, for the record, my BMs haven’t ordered their dresses yet.
Post # 5
haha, okay, I’ll scream silently!
Post # 6
I completely agree with everything that @CaitMarae said! Could you text her back and say, “Oh, thanks for letting me know. By the way, that reminds me, have you ordered your dress yet?” Just turn it around back on her. If she gives you a poor excuse, then ask her if she still wants to be in your wedding party.
I would be getting nervous, too! It’s the beginning of February, and it looks like you’re about three months out!
Post # 7
Grr, I hate it when the spotlight is taken from me. So if my friend got engaged I would be a little sad. I would put on my “happy” face, but secretly be jealous. So your reaction is probably better than mine. Anyway, I find it interesting that she is bridezilla about her bridesmaid dresses when she didn’t even order yours yet. Is it possible that she did order it but from somewhere else? Maybe she thinks she ordered it but didn’t. (I’m stretching here).
I think you should just talk to her and tell her that you will order your just ASAP. But then also tell her you were hurt about that AND remind her that she still has a dress to order as well. Maybe offer her some support in planning her wedding so she doesn’t get bridezilla again. I dunno… but she defintitely needs to order that dress soon! I don’t think she was being mean about telling your friend to remind you though. It was probably a nonchalant thing and she didn’t want to hurt your feelings.
Post # 8
Are you good enough friends to respond with ‘I’ll order mine when you order yours, lol’? It’s passive agressive, which I normally hate, but when you’re trying to be subtle it’s a handy tool.
Or how about saying ‘Let’s go together to get our respective Bridesmaid or Best Man dresses and we’ll spend the WHOLE day talking about our weddings!’
Post # 9
thank yall:) yall give such good advice… the thing is, this girl can be really hateful…And despite the fact the bridal salon calling and trying to reach her (and calling me allll the time too) still no dress has been ordered. I dont think she wants to be in the wedding honestly, I think she DID but then she got engaged and she wanted to focus on hers( which is totally fine, I understand) who knows, maybe I dont want her in it anymore either, she says a lot of hurtful things to people..theres not telling what she would say on my wedding day!
Post # 10
I agree with luckyprincess, sometimes a little blunt honesty goes a long way. she needs to order her dress 1st! You should say that, in a jokey but straight way.
Post # 11
thats EXACTLY what my mom told me to say!
Post # 12
I think I need to put on my big girl panties…boy if the high school me was here, she’d be ashamed at how passive I am about things now! the OLD me would have said “BIA, IF YOU DONT ORDER YOUR DRESS TOMORROW, WE ARE GOING TO HAVE ISSUES…OH AND YOUR SHIRT IS UGLY!”…haha I have become such a calm, nice person..its a good thing, but not always especially when you need to stand up for yourself!
Post # 13
I am a firm believer in clear communication. I would call her up and say:
” B told me that you had asked her to remind me to order my bridesmaid dress, and that reminded me that you are the only bridesmaid who hasn’t ordered her dress for my wedding which is 2 months before yours.
I thought I should call so we could talk.”
Let her take it from there- see if she responds with an excuse or if she brings up the idea of dropping out of each other’s wedding.
Post # 14
thank you:) I’m going to try… I’ll let yall know what happens..I might come running back with my tail between my legs!
Post # 15
Don’t de-bridesmaid her! I just got de-bridesmaided for not replying to an email within a week and apprently “changing since college” What a horrible thing….and now I’ve lost a friend.
Post # 16
What the heck?! I think that you’re over-reacting on this. She sent a text to a friend asking her to remind you to order a dress. WHO CARES? Order your dress! Then send her a text reminding her to order hers. (If your wedding is in May, you REALLY need to get on that. With Chinese New Year right now, you may have a bit of trouble getting them on time.)
Good luck, calm down. When you do, you still may be a little annoyed, but I’m willing to bet that you already had something against her prior to this (other than not ordering her dress) for you to get this angry about it.
Have a glass of wine and cheer up! Planning weddings is FUN! I can’t wait for my Maid/Matron of Honor to get engaged so we can all plan together!!! (She may set her date for three weeks after me…. It’s going to take some coordination, but I’m SOOOO excited!)