(Closed) I’d really like to hear your stories about….

posted 8 years ago in Waiting
Post # 3
Hostess
18644 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2009

I didn’t know about Mr. Bee’s plan when I got engaged but I did follow it unknowingly.  I did not talk about getting engaged or married while I was waiting and I told him that I didn’t really care about the ring that much (since we were younger).  Obviously this worked, since we are married now!

Post # 5
Hostess
18644 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2009

It took a while because he wanted to do it on our trip that we had to delay a year.

Post # 6
Member
170 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

I’m not sure if I did the plan, precisely, but I did make an effort to focus on my own life more, and once we had a definitive talk about getting engaged, I didn’t bring it up. At all. In any capacity. I do think that really helped him feel more at ease and like getting engaged was more his decision. If I had to guess how long that kind of behavior took to “work”,  I would say 2 1/2 months.

Also, I do, and always have believed that pre-planning can make some men feel trapped and uncomfortable. If a couple has agreed about getting engaged it can be okay, but if you haven’t hammered that out, I don’t know that booking venues and choosing dresses is the best course of action to take. Just a thought.

Post # 7
Member
988 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

I have never read “the plan”. I don’t really get why there is a plan lol. I think every guy, girl, couple is different. I bugged my Fiance for a while but only because I knew he wanted to propose the only thing holding him back was money. I was so antsy and just needed tto be engaged ASAP lol. I don’t know how the plan works and maybe I should read it before I comment but it seems weird to me that following a plan will make your man commit, but if it does work then Mr. Bee should publish a book LOL.

Post # 9
Member
620 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

The man and I are planning on getting engaged soon, but it is up to him how soon…

He asked my dad in December, i accidentally found the ring about 4 days later in January and im still waiting…

He often brings up wedding talk, so i cant avoid it… but i have been trying my best not to! I have been crazy busy travelling for work so it isnt too difficult!

Good luck!

Post # 10
Member
620 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

By the way, what are the “rules”?

Post # 11
Member
11325 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: February 2011

Um… I was engaged before “the rules” came out but let me tell you two quick stories: 

Guy A (my ex): 

together for 5 years, went through life, death, deployment, etc. Was told I was the love of his life, couldn’t live without me, we were seemingly very happy. I wanted to get married. RIGHTTHISVERYMINUTE. I bugged him. I talked about rings. I hinted. I made not-so-subtle comments. I was totally wrapped up in “us” and spent no time on “me.” He eventually told me that he had no intention of proposing until we were 30. which would have put us at about 12 years into our relationship. pass. 

then I have some time after the break up to hang out with my friends and realize that I actually like hanging out….. WITHOUT a boyfriend. huge breakthrough. 

Guy B (my fi): 

Meet him and I actually like myself. I love him but I’m cool alone too. I schedule time for my hobbies, I focus on school, I hang with my friends. I don’t talk about marriage really ever. Because he is a PART of my life but not my whole life. He wants to marry me after 1 year (i put it off until about 2.5 for school reasons). 

 

Yes. it works. focus on you, forget the ring, and live your life. 

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