Post # 1
I currently have a 3 year old daught that Fi isn’t the father of and her father isn’t really in the pictures (Every now and then he tries…like once a year if that). So Fi plans on adopting her after the wedding.
Currently, I plan on incorprating her into the wedding by giving her a ring to signify that Fi and I maybe coming together as one but the 3 of us are going to be a family. My plan is to have Fi or both of us tell her vows of some sort and give her a ring that matches (we have white gold for engagement and weddings bands, so just a small non-diamond white gold band in a child’s size for her).
I know people have pointed out it seems cheesy but all the ceremonies I have seen where they incorprate this has been very touching and not cheesy…
What do you all think? Have any different suggestions? Thanks
P.S. She is also the Flower Girl in the wedding.
Post # 3
I don’t think it’s cheesy at all – I love the idea.
Since she’s so young and might not be able to say vows, she could have (in addition to her Flower Girl flowers) two single flowers that she could give each of you during the ring ceremony.
Post # 4
Try looking at the Wedding Ceremony Planner by Judith Johnson. There is an entire section on including children and what you are talking about wanting to do. It gives you a bunch of different texts to choose from and sort of a guide on writing out your own ceremony.
You can probably go into a B&N or Borders to check it out first before buying to see if it’s what you’re looking for.
Post # 5
My daughter was also 3 when we got married. I was worried that she wouldn’t walk down the aisle (which she did, yeah!) so I would be cautious of adding too many activities for a 3 year old to have to pay attention to. She’s young enough that although it is beautiful symbolism for you 2, she won’t get much of the meaning.
And I don’t think it’s cheesy at all!
Post # 6
My daughter is 4 and we will be doing a sand ceremony instead of a unity candle, where we pour the colored sand into the jar together to signify our unity. But, we are letting my daughter do this with us, to signfy the joining of our family. Her jar will be smaller, but we just felt this was the best way to bring it all in.
I don’t think the idea you have is cheesy by the way 🙂
Post # 7
Mr. L andI were married earlier this month. I have a 9 year old daughter that he will be adopting. We had a "family unity" ceremony after our exchange of rings. The wording was beautiful and we received so many compliments. My daughter did a reading from "The Family Book" (a wonderful suggestion by a fellow Bee). We gave her a unity pendant that I had custom made for her (three intertwined circles) so it wouldn’t be as big and heavy as many of the unity pendants that you can find for sale. The ceremony wording was as follows:
Officiant: When a couple marries, it isn’t just the joining of two lives together, it is the coming together of families as well. This is especially true today. For as [bride] and [groom] become husband and wife, they are also joined by [daughter] to become a family. (At this point my daughter, who was in the wedding party, came up with us and we joined hands in a circle).
Officiant: [bride] and [groom], repeat after me:
Bride & Groom, repeating after Officiant: Today, as we become husband and wife, we also become a new family. We recognize that you are a gift from God. We promise to be there for you always, to comfort you and care for you, to protect you and provide for you, to guide you and to listen to you and most of all, to love you with all our hearts.
Officiant: Just as [bride] and [groom] gave each other rings as a symbol of their love and commitment towards one another, so too, they wuold like to present [daughter] with a gift of their love and commitment towards her. [Bride] and [groom] have had a special unity pendant created for [daughter]. This pendant is made up of three intertwining circles, two of which symbolize the union of [bride] and [groom] in marriage. The third circle represents the joining of [daughter] to this marriage, making it the complete family that we celebrate here today.
Post # 8
I forgot to mention by the time we do get married, she will be 4 and hopefully she will get into it more by then.
Post # 9
@ LisaL2B – Thanks a lot – now I am all weepy at work! That ceremony was perfect.
Post # 10
Not cheesy at all. A friend of mine told me her father in law did that when he married her mom. He got both dauhghters a ring to symbolize the fact that he was getting in their lives as well.
I think the idea of the sand is great, kind of like the candle thing, but easier to do with a daughter your age.
Post # 11
gji7 – Sorry for causing the tears. I typed out the ceremony at work and shed a few myself. But it did turn out beautifully.
Post # 12
I think I’m going to continue with having Fi give her a ring and then do something similar to what LisaL2B posted.
Post # 13
Take a look at Lily Kole, there is a Unity sand set that has a small accessory vase to incorporate children in the ceremony. You can personalize it with an initial also.