(Closed) Ideal age gap between children

posted 5 years ago in Parenting
Post # 16
229 posts
Helper bee

I love that my kids are 5 years apart. I didn’t plan it that way although I find it worked out perfectly. My daughter was out of diapers and in school all day when my son was born so that took a lot of stress off of me. My daughter is 9 and my son is 4. My daughter loves being the older sister because she gets to act all motherly and do big sister things. My son has a baby brother he sees sometimes throughout the year (he lives with his dad in another state) and they are 2.5 years apart. My son likes being a big brother as well.  I’ve asked him a few times if he would like a new brother or sister and he always says no and that he already has one. Lol. I don’t think I will be having anymore children. Me & SO have 4 children all together and our house is full. Lol

Post # 17
779 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

Im the youngest out of 3 kids and we’re all 5 years apart. So my brother is 10 years older than me. Now THATS a gap. I always hated it because as a result, I was never close with my brother and we only recently have been able to see each other as “equals”.

im hoping to space my kids out by about 2 years. That seems like a good enough age where the oldest will be a toddler, and hopefully be on his way to being potty trained. But if it ends up being a bigger gap, I won’t be totally upset. I feel like parents now want their kids so close. I always see it.

Post # 18
512 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

My brother and I are 10 years apart, and that made for a really special bond between us.  We have always been close…but he was a big brother who was unusual (once he could drive he’d take me places like McDonalds and Chuck E Cheese).  My mom loved the huge age gap.  She said it “extended the amount of time for rasining kids” without having a ton of kids 🙂

Just because of my age and the age of my husband, we will probably have kids who are 2-3 years apart.


Post # 19
2402 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

I agree with a previous poster that it’s what works best for your family. And close in age doesn’t always mean they will be close.

With that said, I want a 2-3 year age gap. My son is almost 16 months old and I recently found out I’m 5 weeks pregnant, so if all goes well, they will be almost 2 years apart exactly.

Post # 20
296 posts
Helper bee

I’m not a parent so I can’t give you a parent’s point of view on this, but I was 5 1/2 when my brother was born and I think it was an ideal gap. Sure, sometimes when I was young I wished that he was older, but once he was 4 we played together just fine. Children don’t play together before they’re 4 anyway,even if they are the exact same age. I absolutely disagree that after 3 1/2 years it’s more difficult for a child to adapt. If anything, I fought with my brother much less than siblings that were closer together, who were at the point of killing each other most of the time. We’re close now too, closer than my SO is with his sister,who is only 15 months younger than him. Not that they don’t get along,they just don’t have much in common.

I don’t think there is an ideal gap,nor do you have to make the gap as small as possible to force a closer relationship or try and create a perfect playmate. That’s missing the point. Siblings are not friends, it’s something different and much deeper.

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