(Closed) Ideal marrying age

posted 8 years ago in Waiting
  • poll: Ideal age to get married
    18-21 : (6 votes)
    2 %
    22-23 : (21 votes)
    7 %
    24-26 : (115 votes)
    36 %
    27-29 : (131 votes)
    41 %
    30-35 : (33 votes)
    10 %
    35 plus : (5 votes)
    2 %
    Other- please explain : (7 votes)
    2 %
  • Post # 32
    Member
    580 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: June 2014

    I’m not going to say what is ideal for other people, but I am getting married at 22 and that is ideal for me. The reason it is ideal for me is because I want to have my first child at 23 or 24, second child at 26, and if I have a third, at 28. I’ve always wanted to be a relatively young mom because I loved having a young mom when I was growing up. All my friends thought she was the coolest 🙂 

    Post # 33
    Member
    948 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: June 2012

    Mid twenties for me. 

    Post # 34
    Member
    145 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: May 2015

    I’ve always wanted to get married young, I never thought it’d actually happen because my love life sucked up until this last year lol. I’m almost 22, will be engaged in the next year and probably married at 23. My parents married at 23 and 24 back in the late 80s, I always wanted that for myself. I know I want to spend the rest of my life with SO, why wait 5 years? I don’t get it…nobody has told me I’m too young to soon to be engaged actually People are asking what’s taking so long! haha it might be regional, but I’m from MN!

    Post # 35
    Member
    24 posts
    Newbee
    • Wedding: January 2015

    I don’t really think there a right or wrong answer on what age you should be married. Plus I don’t think it matters what other people think whether your too young or too old, as long as the couple is happy together. To me age is just a number. 

    Post # 36
    Member
    1708 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: September 2014

    @futurejhart:  there’s no such thing! 🙂 I have friends who were ready to marry and be parents by age 23. I was NOT – even the idea was weird (and very unappealing) to me. I personally was not ready to seriously think marriage until after I turned 30. My twenties were my time and I wasn’t really open to it. I also was not ready for a boyfriend until I started university… always sort of had my own timeline for doing things.  

     

    Post # 37
    Member
    2070 posts
    Buzzing bee

    When I was growing up, I thought the ideal age would be 26, but now I’m not sure that I’ll even be engaged by that age! I’m starting to think the late 20’s/early 30’s are a great time to get married, but that’s for me…

    I can’t say anything about other people because I think it’s such an individual thing. Though I will say that statistically speaking, I believe the rough trend is that starting in the mid to late 20’s the older a woman is when she gets married the less likely the marriage is to end in divorce.

    @veryberry13:  

    Coming up with these timelines EFFED ME UP man.  Because when 30 rolled around and I wasn’t married and trying for kids–even engaged, well, it really ruined year 30 for me.

    Goodness girl, I know women who are 30 and aren’t even in a committed relationship! I definitely am glad to hear that you’ve moved past those useless and negative thoughts.

    Post # 38
    Member
    1203 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: July 2015

    If I had it my way I would have been married at 20 but money was not in cards for us and I don’t want to get married while I’m broke AND in school.  If we could have taken care of ourselves without working ourselves to death in part time jobs we would have gotten married but we decided that even though we felt ready, we wanted to be much more financially stable so that it would be one less stress on our marriage.  So I will be married right after my 23rd birthday.  It’s a little later than I wanted but I know it was our smartest option.

    Post # 39
    Member
    411 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: July 2015

    When you and your Fiance know each other and are ready to commit! But ideally above 25 – your brain isn’t fully formed until then, and personalities are still changing. I always thought I’d get married at about 28, and I’ll be 29 when it happens.

    Post # 40
    Member
    4097 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: February 2013

    I don’t think it’s age so much, but how well you know your partner. I’m not opposed to young people (18-21) getting married if they’ve been together since 9th grade. Why not? It’s better than a person in their late 30’s who feels pressured by society to get married to just anyone who proposes. 

    Post # 41
    Member
    6375 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: July 2013 - UK

    I don’t really think that there is an ideal age… it’s the age at which you are settled, have been in a stable LTR for a number of years, have some sort of career, and can pay your bills. I would probably say not before the age of 25, by which time you have finished university and been working for several years.

    Children wise, I have been heavily influenced by an NHS campaign about fertility which encourages women to aim to have their last child by 35, preferably, and certainly by 40. I consider your prime childbearing years to be 30-35. Bear in mind that I come from a country which has some of the oldest first time mothers in the world… the average age for first birth is 30. Birth is usually delayed for economic reasons.

    For this reason, I would say 27-30 is the ideal for marriage, and 30-35 for having children. Doubtless, US bees will have lower numbers. Statistically, people who marry later are less likely to divorce… but I suspect that is for lots and lots of different reasons.

    Post # 42
    Member
    407 posts
    Helper bee

    Got married at 24.  Got divorced at 36.  I grew up so much around ages 29-30 and had very different goals, dreams, hopes.  In an ideal world you could get married at any age and love would be enough to help bond you so that you grow together as you mature.   In many marriages that’s true, unfortunately half of the time it isn’t.  At 22 I thought my ex-husband was the man of my dreams and that we’d be together forever.  Looking back at age 40 I realize that at 22, when I thought I was an adult and ready to forge my future, I was so immature.  I don’t mean immature in an insulting way, I just mean not mature enough to see the impact that decisions I made would set me on a course for the next 60 years of my life.  Had children at 27.  I love my boys, lovelovelove them.  But their parents are divorced and that’s never an ideal situation.  If I had waited just 2 years to have children I would have seen the marriage wouldn’t last.

    So my vote was 30-35 but I really think 28-32 would be my age range.  I wouldn’t have wanted to worry about fertility but I think I’d have made better choices if I had waited until age 30.

    Post # 44
    Member
    5136 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: September 2013

    @futurejhart:  i think anything under 24 is young. But, it also depends on the couple. For my DH and I, we met when we were 18/19. We always knew we wanted to spend the rest of our lives together, we waited a long time because certain things needed to be in place for us before getting engaged. We wanted to both be done with school, have full time jobs, and save some money. DH proposed when I lease expected it, we didn’t set a time frame, we didn’t go shopping together for the ring. He just knew that we were both in good places financially which was important to us. We got married on our 10 year anniversary 🙂

    Post # 45
    Member
    1701 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: October 2014

    I’ll be 25 when I get married. I do not think there is an ideal age it’s up to the people getting married. 

    I AM however, surprised at how many people are saying “no ideal age” when the younger bees get a lot of crap on here for “marrying young and not enjoying life” or “you change a lot in your twenties don’t do it” 

    Post # 46
    Member
    336 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: September 2017 - Rossino Castle

    I got married at 21 and I have to be completely honest…I was way too young.If I was to be the same person I was then for my whole life then yes,my marriage would have worked,but…women grow up A LOT in their 20s,and so I did.I’m not the same person I was at 21,or even at 25,and I’m only 28.

    Knowing what I know now,I’d say form 27 on is a good age for a woman.Men,on the other hand,usually take much longer to mature,so now I wouldn’t marry a guy who’s less than 30 years old,at the very least.

    The topic ‘Ideal marrying age’ is closed to new replies.

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