(Closed) Ideal marrying age

posted 8 years ago in Waiting
  • poll: Ideal age to get married

    18-21

    22-23

    24-26

    27-29

    30-35

    35 plus

    Other- please explain

  • Post # 62
    Member
    1000 posts
    Bumble bee

    Whenever you feel like it, as long as both parties are consenting – and in order to consent, they have to be capable of consent, which means they have to be legally of age and mentally capable.  Beyond that, whatever floats your boat, including “never” if that’s your answer.

    Post # 63
    Member
    2319 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: July 2011

    Well you can get engaged whenever you want and no one will feel that you are too young. Unless you are underage. Lol! But ppl look differently at marriage. And I’ll have to say there are MANY times I was 100% certain I was with my soulmate with whomever I was with at the time. I just wanted to tie the knot. Life didn’t work out that way and I didn’t get married until I was 30. Then looking back I feel VERY GLAD that I didn’t get married back when I could’ve sworn on my life that I was with the right person. 

    Post # 64
    Member
    466 posts
    Helper bee

    I always thought I’d get married when I was in my early 30s (even when I was a youg’un.)  Honestly, I’m so glad that I spent my early 20s working on myself, having adventures, and learning how to live alone.  Now that I’m in my late 20s, I’m more interested in marriage.  However, I still find it a relatively scary idea.  To some degree, I find the idea of bing single easier.  The only person you need to worry about is you.  

    I’m always amazed at people who get married super young.  I just don’t think I was mature enough to do it in my early 20s.  Quite simply, I was too selfish.  

    Post # 65
    Member
    739 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: May 2014

    I think you should gave to be 30 legally before you can get married! And this comes from someone who got married at 22…trust me NO 22 year old is grown up. A lot will change, and your relationship may be able to weather it, or it may not. 

    Post # 66
    Member
    2022 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: September 2013

    @futurejhart:  Youre not too young.  Youre at a good age.  When I was younger I wanted to be married by 24.  I ended up getting engaged at 23 and married at 25, 2 weeks before I turned 26.  I honestly could have waited too.  But DH said a 2 year engagment is long enough.  We were already living together and nothing has changed except I wear one more piece of jewelry everyday and I have a different last name.  We still work were we worked and still have two dogs and still dont plan on having kids for a few years. 

    Post # 67
    Member
    519 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: June 2012

    Our ideal age was 22, but that’s just what worked for us. We have been together since 9th grade in high school, so we had been together long enough to completely know each other and know that it was what we wanted. It was important to both of us that we were at least finished with undergrad before getting married so that at least one of us (me) had an income while DH went on to med school. I know some people say that 22 is too young and that we should have waited until we were financially secure….well, I see it as neither of us were going to be financially secure for a while whether we married or waited, so what better support system than having your husband by your side to go through the difficult times together?

    I love being married right now. It’s perfect for us. It gives us plenty of time alone together as a married couple before we even think about having kids, which I want to do at around 26-27 (I’m 23 now). 

    Getting married young and starting families young is actually really typical where we’re from. When we got married at 22, we already had several friends/family members who were the same age or younger that had gotten married. I have lots of friends/family members who are younger than me and already have had at least their first baby. Our family pressures us sometimes because they think we should be having kids by now, but we have made it very clear that we want to be financially secure. They’ve backed off, so hopefully it stays that way. 

    Post # 68
    Member
    159 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: July 2015 - Gardens

    @futurejhart:  Im 25 and my partner is proposing to me in the next month, like you we have been together a long time, it’ll be 6 years in July. I think 24 onwards is a good age to get engaged, to get married I’d wait a few years. I personally will wait 2 years or more until we marry.

    Post # 68
    Member
    1609 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: November 2014

    Old thread but wanted to chime in to say the best time is when you meet the right person. Sometimes its when you’re 22 and sometimes not until you’re 42.  Never compromise what you want and what you deserve.

    Post # 69
    Member
    2317 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: January 2015

    I’ll be two months off 26 when we get married, which is younger than I would ahve thought I would get married at but we’ve been together nearly 7 years so to me waiting any longer is pointless.

    Post # 70
    Member
    5356 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: May 2016

    Not engaged yet, but it will be later this summer. We have our wedding date and its a couple of weeks after I turn 24 and two months before he turns 24. By that time we will have been together for 7 years. I have a friend getting married 5 days after she turns 21, and I think she is insane. She is no where near mature enough to get married, but she’ll learn when she’s in the “real world”.

    Post # 71
    Member
    243 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: October 2014

    View original reply
    futurejhart:  I will be 24 this year, my ideal marriage age is to be married at 25. I have always been told by many married people to give your marriages some “alone time” before you have kids. So my plan (not sure if its going to turn out this way) is to be married at 25, then start trying for kids after I turn 27. 

    Post # 72
    Member
    18 posts
    Newbee
    • Wedding: May 2014

    My fiance and I are going on 5 years together. I’m 23 and he is turning 25 next week. Our wedding is in about 4 weeks (who am I kidding.. it’s 31 days, 3 hours, 56 mins and 19 – 18- 17….. lol!!) We have been engaged for 9 months at this point but 10 months by the wedding date. He asked my father’s blessing about 2 years ago but we wanted to wait until we were a bit more settled finacially and in our careers which at this point we are.  

    I really don’t think there is an ideal age to get married… I know about a few couples who got married right out of high school and are now celebrating 6 years together (not married due to an unplanned pregnancy but did have kids later on). I also have been to 2 different weddings (completely unrelated) where the couples were in their late 20’s (26-29) and ended in divorce shortly after.

    I think it’s cruel to take someone’s joy away with snide comments just because it doesn’t fit with your own ideals or because others don’t think it’s right.

    Speaking on a personal note: Anyone who knows us knows that we’re deeply commited to each other and are both honest and trustworthy. We’ve been living together for about 4 years, have two dogs together (3 yrs and 1 yr), have been there for each other and gone through joys and sorrows and milestones. We graduated our post-secondary and both have stable full-time jobs (infact we even have pensions). We purchased our house together, our RV and our quad. We have a real, living and breathing relationship… I’m from the other side of the country and so all my family is very distant but they all love him and my parent’s (my dad esp.) bonded with him rigth away. His famiyl has even adopted me in and most of them are even in our wedding party(even his cousins are my bridesmaids). He was even in my brother’s wedding party. Trying not to sound cheesy but I really can’t remember much about life before him.  

    Rant #1: I’ve never felt annoyed about this before but reading these comments… I find it insulting when people are saying that certain ages are too young. I think some people aren’t ready when they do get married or that the marriage was more about the milestone than the commitment but I think it’s a very individual and personal choice.

    Rant #2: Also, I don’t know why people would try and push anyone away from having children in their 20’s. I get wanting to be settled with their spouse, a house and finaces but having all that settled why push someone to wait? The longer you wait the harder it is and the more risks it puts on the preganancy and your child. I found out during our engagement (rather recently) that I have a condition that impacts my fertility. My fiance and I have always been family people and dream of having a large family together. It has been devestating but my doctor told me that since I am 23 there is still a lot they can do and she is confident that I can get pregnant once we start trying (even joked that I could be competition for the Duggars.. not that we’re trying for that big of a family) . She said if I was 30 she would be very concerned though. Personally I wouldn’t want to wait if I have the choice and I understand some people don’t meet their spouse until later in life but if you’re with them then why wait? Why lose time you could be spending with them?

    I love my husband-to-be very much and we are living our life story right now… together. I have so much faith in our realtionship and support of family and friends all around us. I also have faith in God and pray that we can live our lives out together until we’re “old and grey” as they say. The important thing is that our relationship is between us and god and that’s all the opionions that matter.

     

    Sorry for the rant… hope that helped @futurejhart

    Post # 73
    Member
    1019 posts
    Bumble bee

    As a whole, there’s no “best” age. It all has to do with the individual. One could be ready at 18, at 38, or never want to marry (I think that the latter group should be a bit more vocal; I believe that marriage is not for everyone).<br /><br />Personally, I’ve always wanted to be a young bride. As a little girl, I thought that 22 or 23 would be an ideal age, since I’d be old enough to be out of college and in the workforce. This scenario was assuming that I’d find the right person early (I always believed I would), that I would graduate from college on time, and that I’d marry someone who was maybe a year or two older.<br /><br />However, the last two items will slow things down a bit. I ended up failing my first year of college, so it will take me five years to graduate. Also, DBF is a year younger, so he will take longer to graduate, too. So at this rate, it’s looking like I’ll be anywhere from 23 to 25, which works for me. 🙂

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