(Closed) A planning problem…ideas anyone?

posted 11 years ago in Waiting
  • poll: Which would you do based on what I wrote?
    Have it in IL in September. : (37 votes)
    86 %
    Even though waiting stinks, have it in CA about a month after the baby's due date. : (6 votes)
    14 %
    Do this instead! (Explain below) : (0 votes)
  • Post # 3
    7081 posts
    Busy Beekeeper
    • Wedding: July 2009

    Future MrsR.

    First off, congratulations…  I remember how exciting and anxiety provoking that limbo time was!  Oh my gosh, the ring took forever.  And it was crooked, so then it took another month… and then there was waiting for the proposal.  Before everything was "official" the summer was upon us.  We knew there was no option but to get married outdoors (due to both of our preferences)… so after a lot of discussion, we decided to wait for the full year (15 months, but who’s counting!)

    The deal closer for me was my fiance.  He felt so much more comfortable being engaged for a whole year, rather than a shorter time.  That was all that mattered to me.  We decided not to worry about other people’s reproductive plans or anything else and focused on when *we* would be ready.  And honestly, it meant setting aside having kids for a little longer.  I’m 37, so it is actually a huge issue for us, but we came to terms with our plans together… and I feel like it is so worth the wait.

    Having said that, you are here, which means you are already planning and thinking of vendors and inspiration… I bet you could pull it off in an abbreviated time frame, especially since it won’t be wedding high season! If you and your fiance decide that September is right for you, then I say go for it… If you decide that it’s best to wait for winter, then despite your cousin’s pregnancy, that is what you should do.  I’d try to work around it best you can, but not change plans completely if that’s what you want.

    As an alternative, what is wrong with October?  It certainly wouldn’t have to be a Halloween wedding, and would give you extra time without totally cutting it close with your cousin!

    Post # 5
    625 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: June 2009

    I’d say stick to your original plan.  You can always start some secret planning.  Look for a venue, pick out some colors, etc..  Then when he does propose you will still be on track.  By sticking with IL you can avoid any problems with your cousin and you are more likely to have all of your important people there since it sounds like most of them live in IL.

    Also, I understand him wanting to wait to propose for the ring but why does he have to wait to ask your dad.  Your dad wont be seeing the ring either way since (I’m assuming) he lives in IL).  Maybe that would speed things up too.

    Post # 6
    1238 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: August 2008

    You can start planning without the ring on your finger!  I had my venue booked well before my hubby called my dad and asked for permission and finally popped the question.  I think you’ll be happier with the September wedding.

    Post # 8
    7052 posts
    Busy Beekeeper
    • Wedding: July 2010

    As a bride who is still waiting (we had a fiasco of a time on our trip where we were supposed to get engaged..resort’s fault and huge problems) for the ring, we’re planning.  No worries! Same for you.  NO worries! 

    Plan away.  September sounds lovely.  Check out also if any bridal salons are having  sample sales..can sometimes buy a gorgeous gown quickly and for less money.  Call around and ask. 

    Have fun and happy planning..best wishes too!  

    Post # 9
    156 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: December 2009

    Do it in September!  You will be happiest with your original decision!

    Post # 10
    2249 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: March 2019

    You can do it! I also vote September! As for your dress, don’t worry too much. Either try to find one that doesn’t need alterations or find an independant seamstress who can work with a fast timetable. Also, start planning. I started when i was about 5, dreaming of my perfect wedding, so you can start now!

    Post # 11
    497 posts
    Helper bee

    I definitely vote for September…there is no way that you can work around everyone’s schedules and events, that’s just how life is.  Things are always going to pop up, so take advantage of the opportunity to get married when you want to get married and let the rest take care of itself. 

    Post # 12
    596 posts
    Busy bee

    I vote for having the wedding in September – a dress can take 4-6 months to be ordered but you can always pay extra for it to be expedited, buy a sample, buy a secondhand dress, etc. 

    Post # 13
    7 posts
    • Wedding: October 2009

    Go with what you want!  It’s YOUR wedding, and if September in IL is your dream, then that’s what you should do.  I did ALOT of research and had several vendors booked while waiting on the ring, and my fiance wanted to talk with BOTH of my "dads" before officially asking me, so I started reading WB and doig my research (and started my folder) several months before the event happened…think about 3 months.

    As for the dress, I waited on that until I had the ring.  But I feel silly admitting to that!  I would do all this research and contact venues and vendors, but dress-shopping was something I wanted the ring for.  But like I said, now that I have the dress (and the ring) I feel TOTALLY silly having been that way.  But I didn’t have timing issues like you’re potentially facing.  I would go ahead and start looking around…maybe you’ll find something that will only take 2-3 months, or a sample sell…

    Good Luck – and congrats!

    Post # 14
    32 posts
    • Wedding: May 2010

    I would say that if your heart was set on September then September it is. My boyfriend and I have been dating since high school and I have known for years I want to get married on our dating anniversary (May 21). Well, May 21, 2011 was ideal because I would be just done with school BUT my little sister graduates that year on May 26 and that seems like so much for my mom in two weeks. So, we moved it to 2010 and were completely happy until the finals schedule came out for my 2009-2010 school year and we found out that my finals are the same week as my wedding. BUT we are NOT changing the date because its the date we have wanted. When you have your heart set on something thats whats meant to be. You want to remember the day forever; make the day you dream of! Also, I am not engaged and have our photographer, colors and invitations picked out… you can start planning before the ring!! Congratulations!!!!

    Post # 15
    439 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: October 2009

    We originally wanted a late summer/early fall wedding, however shortly after our engagement my FI’s sister got pregnant. due late August… fate stepped in and our venue wasn’t available until late October anyway. But the trick with babies is that you just don’t know when they’re actually coming, and I didn’t want, in any way, to compete with the baby being born… and as an added bonus a 2 month old will add to the draw for family coming from further away! 🙂

    Post # 16
    14181 posts
    Honey Beekeeper
    • Wedding: June 2009

    I think you may regret it if your cousin cannot come. Which is more important–having the family you want there, or having your wedding in the location at the time of year that you want? I know time of year is an important thing but you can have a beautiful wedding no matter what. And when it’s all said and done, it will be beautiful and you’ll be married, which is the most important thing. I think in the long run, waiting a few extra months won’t be as big of a deal as your cousin not being able to share in all this joy with you, by your side, since you two are so close.

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