Post # 1
I am a first time bridesmaid and am trying to plan a couple shower for my friend who got engaged in January of 2010 and will be getting married in September 2010…which doesnt give us alot of time to plan showers/engagement party. Because of the time restraint we decided to nix the engagement party which the bride was completely ok about. So we’ve decided to do a couples shower. The problem now is the brides family is extremely large…her mother has 14 brothers and sisters so the shower is more than likely going to be 200 guests plus some. That being said we as bridesmaids decided that opening gifts would obvioulsy take entirely too long. The bride’s aunt is find with that idea however she feels as though without the gift opening that the shower turns into a party and its not really about the couple. I guess what i’m wondering is does anyone have any ideas as to something we can still do to bring the spotlight to the couple without the gift opening. There were some ideas given such as asking people not to wrap there gifts and just have them on display…which i’m not exactly crazy about ….or giving out raffle tickets as people walk in and every 30 minutes we pull a number and whose ever number we call recieves a small prize and the bride and groom open that persons gift……i’m new to this so i’m not sure what the proper etiquette is. obviously this is an abnormal situation but any input anyone could give me would be greatly appreciated.
Post # 3
Wow, a 200+ person shower is huge! I agree that you can’t realistically open all those gifts at the shower; it would takes hours! Also, it might be really hard trying to organize that many people to play games, listen for raffle announcements, etc… If you’re planning on serving a meal (or even just cake and punch) it will take quite a while to get all those people served and fed. My other concern is that a shower this big is bound to cost a lot of money. Most people don’t have the space to host 200+ people at home, so you might have to rent a facility/tables and chairs, pay for food, buy decorations and favors, etc…
Typically showers do not include the entire wedding guest list. Is there any way you can reduce the number guests? Could you invite immediate family/close friends only or limit the invitations to people who wouldn’t have to travel? I think maybe the best way to approach it would be to set a budget for the shower and then decide how many people you can reasonably host. Then, you can extend invitations based on that number.
Post # 4
200 guests is a huge, huge expectation. Any way to cut that down? That’s going to solve a lot of your problems…
Post # 5
I think having that many guests will make it impossible to be all about the couple. You’re not going to be able to get 200 + people focused on the same thing unless you have a loud speaker. I’d just call it an engagement party and if you wanted to add some games that’s fine. But again, with that many people, game playing probably won’t go smoothly.
Post # 6
omg! 200 is big for a wedding.. a shower sounds insane! Who is paying for that?! That being said… I think it is going to be difficult to organize that many people… maybe you can just put together slideshow of pics of the couple through the years with advise and well wishes from the people and play it on a loop. That would make a statement about this being the couple’s day.
Post # 7
Wow, yikes, yeah … I’ve NEVER heard of a shower being more than like 50 people max. Most of the time when the wedding guest list is on the larger side, the people invited to the shower are just close friends and family … not everyone. The shower should be expected to be large, considering the 14 brothers thing, but no one can be expected to host a part for 200 people. That’s asking way, way too much of you and the wedding party.
Some couples will have multiple showers, since showers are usually intimate affairs. For example, one hosted by the groom’s side, one hosted by the bride’s side, and then one hosted by the bride’s friends. I’ve heard of that before (although, it’s not common, but it happens!). I would suggest going that route, if at all possible (to save your sanity!).
Post # 8
I second the idea of having multiple showers…200 is waaaayy too many people. I had two showers (a friends shower and a family shower) cuz I thought a single one would have been too big (mine would have only been ~30 people if it was combined!)…and both my Maid/Matron of Honor and my aunt wanted to host showers for me.
My husband’s cousin got married shortly before us and they had a couples shower with about 80 people and even that was kind of ridiculous. Everyone just went off and did their own thing, like a regular party. It totally wasn’t about them…you hardly even saw them…until we had to sit and watch them open gifts from 80+ people…lots of people left at that point.
Edit: Oh and you shouldn’t have to host multiple showers…other people should step up for that…like an aunt for a family shower or a coworker for a work shower. Just make sure people aren’t invited to multiple showers (unless they want to be) cuz then they can start feeling like they’re just being used for presents.
Post # 9
I guess I just don’t get it. Showers are supposed to be for CLOSE friends and family. It’s a time to “shower” the bride/couple with love from the people closest to you. I agree that this sounds more like a party. But it sounds like this is what the couple wants and that you are good with it. I think you’re an amazing friend for throwing such a big party…but how are you going to feed all these people?