(Closed) Ideas for Wedding Vows (Catholic Church)

posted 3 years ago in Ceremony
Post # 2
Member
556 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2016

Have you checked in with your church about this? I know at my friend’s Catholic wedding they weren’t allowed to change the ceremony in any way – her godfather couldn’t even provide a one or two sentence introduction to the reading he was giving. 

Post # 3
Member
2966 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

we had a catholic ceremony and we were not given the option of writing our vows, so like mentioned above, make sure you get the green light from your priest/church. some churches will give the couple a few minutes to say something extra, so that may be an option for you.

Post # 5
Member
1321 posts
Bumble bee

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happybridetobee2017 :  Yeah, our church allowed us to pick between two different wordings, but they pretty much said the same thing, no customization or personal vows allowed. Their justification is that a Catholic wedding comes with certain promises and in a certain context that is non-negotiable, therefore the vow must be a certain way. This I believe is across the board, although you always here of a priest here or there that allows people to bend rules. 

Post # 6
Member
549 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: Backyard

First off, I want to clarify that my husband and I are Lutherans, not Catholics. I realize that probably does make a difference.

We originally wrote our own vows, but the pastor told us they were way too long. We decided to use the pre-written vows in the service. We used the very long vows we had written for a marriage covenant. This is a Jewish tradition. We had our marriage covenant printed in the bulletin and signed it at the end of the ceremony. 

Integrating something like that into the ceremony might not be possible for you. Perhaps what you could do though is write out your own personal promises to each other and display it in your home.

Post # 7
Member
143 posts
Blushing bee

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happybridetobee2017 :  Echoing what other posters have said. It is generally not permissible to change the vow portion of the marriage ceremony. Since marriage is a sacrament, the rite and form of the sacrament are observed universally; just as you wouldn’t personalize a baptismal or confirmation ceremony, the Church requires that the vows not be changed. That being said, many priests are open to writing a homily that expresses what it is you want to get across. For most of the Catholic weddings I have been to, the homily either included the priest sharing bits that the couple had written about each other (similar to personalized “vows” popular today), or the homily was centered around why the couple had chosen the particular readings that were used in the liturgy.

Post # 10
Member
731 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2016

View original reply
happybridetobee2017 :  have you run this by your priest? We were not allowed to at ours. We has to pick out of a little book that had all the readings and such. I would recommend you check with your priest.

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