(Closed) ideas on what to do with my brother

posted 1 year ago in Family
Post # 31
Member
452 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2018

alfalfasprout10518 :  I agree it is not anybodys place to tell you how to spend your money on someone else.  I would say consider letting him read a very short reading, make a nice speech a reception or be an usher to the guests at ceremony.

Post # 33
Member
452 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2018

alfalfasprout10518 :  Quite frankly I dont subscribe to the notion that siblings have to be in a wedding.  I have a bunch and only 1 is in mine and guess what its OK. Even if it we’rent too bad its what I want.  Not saying you have to have same mindset but dont feel bad for not having him stand up with you.  I totally get why you wouldnt want him up there in a diff suit because despite what pp say, it will be noticable and it will look like you just stuck him in there last minute.  I never for a minute felt that you were being shallow with your reasons for not including him. 

Post # 34
Member
9173 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2013

can he be in the bridal party and stand on your side?  that’s what i did with my brother.

Post # 35
Member
3563 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2017

alfalfasprout10518 :  i also don’t think that siblings have to be in wedding parties, but this whole business with the suit makes NO SENSE, bee. if the reason why you’re not asking your Bro to be part of your wedding party is a suit – well that sounds really shallow and pretty shitty. in addition, it makes no sense whatsoever that you would then ask your Fiance if he wants your bro on his side – presumably, you’d have the exact same suiting problem (and would actually be more of an issue) but that didn’t seem to stop you. so what gives? what are you not telling us? because i have a hard time believing the suit is the issue here.

Post # 38
Member
452 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2018

alfalfasprout10518 :  I figured it was other reasons and the suit thing probably just topped it off as another reason.  

Post # 39
Member
2181 posts
Buzzing bee

alfalfasprout10518 :  I agree these boards can get rough. I’ve been on here for a few years now and I’m constantly surprised at the turns discussions take. Don’t sweat it, just ignore the ones who don’t get where you are coming from. 

I do like the suggestions already, both he and your grandpa walking you down, maybe he could also have the rings and present them when asked, do a speech at the reception, and be a witness on the marriage license. Sounds like doing all of that would also alleviate some worries for you as well as be significant enough for his role in your life. 

Much love and hugs to you bee. PM me if you ever need to talk/vent. 

Post # 40
Member
3563 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2017

alfalfasprout10518 :  that’s totally understandable, but you have to see how saying that you don’t want your brother in your wedding party because his suit doesn’t match comes across. you don’t have to share every intimate detail of your life – but even just saying, “for several personal reasons which i don’t want to post here, having him in the bridal party isn’t an option. but i would love to include him in some other way.” that will fend off a lot of the attacks.

Post # 42
Member
840 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: Church

alfalfasprout10518 :  A few things came to mind, a door greeter, usher,  or have him to give a special speech. I also like the idea of your grandpa and brother walking with you. Are you having wedding programs ? If so, have a section special acknowledgement and list his name. You sound like a very kind sister and I’m sure your wedding will be beautiful with whatever you decide to do. That’s all the ideas that I can come up with right now. 

Post # 43
Member
8317 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

catskillsinjune :  

Yes this . So often OP’s  don’t say what  – or all  –  they really mean  ( usually for good reasons no doubt)  but then get cross and hurt because the incomplete data leads to judgement they feel they don’t deserve . Then they add the new stuff and castigate anyone who didn’t  intuit it .

OP as far as all the suggestion about doing readings and greetings  and ushering etc go , I agree with the pp who  said they  all sound like  afterthoughts-   plus you aren’t  keen on extending the spotlight aspects.

MC sounds good if appropriate .

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