(Closed) idk how others do this…. FI's dangerous job.

posted 5 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
750 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2014

*Hugs!!!* I don’t know how others do it 🙁 My Fiance is an aspiring police officer, and I know it will worry me, everyday. 

Just know that your Fiance is a brave man, and we would be lost without people like him who make our communities safer. He also is taking every safety precaution possible, for himself, of course, but also to stay safe for you and your son!! 

Sending you my positive energies- I hope that he comes home soon and you get some peace of mind.

Post # 4
2073 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

My husband is a cop in a violent, gang-riddled part of the city.  I worried every day he went out on patrol. It just became part of my new normal. What helped me tremendously was getting to know his friends/coworkers. I got to know that they are fabulous guys who’d be there to back up my husband in a heartbeat. Also, becoming closer with the other wives and girlfriends was invaluable. They’re a great group since we all understand and can handle hearing others’ worries and fears since its part of our lives. 

Since my husband has been hurt on the job and is going to be medically retired, he’s now doing detective work and doesn’t leave the station anymore. While I’m very sad for my husband and losing a career he loves (not to mention the financial implications of him going back to school for a new career), a small part of me is very relieved he is no longer out on patrol.  

Sorry I don’t have any more advice for you. But it does get easier after a while. 

Post # 5
540 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

I somewhat know what you mean. My husband is an iron worker and up building hire rises. I worry all the time especially when I hear someone get hurt really bad. Last year their supervisor fell to his death, one little mistake can take a life. I tell my husband I worry and wish he would get a different job, but he loves what he does, pride in helping build these hire rises and ofcourse pay is great, but I sometimes wonder, is it really worth it?

The only thing I can do on my part is make sure as his wife (stay home mom) that he gets enough hours sleep every night, eats breakfast, has a lunch pack and plenty of fluids. Some women may say I’m over doing it but I want my husband well prepared and ready to work under these dangerous areas.


Post # 7
49 posts
  • Wedding: September 2014

My Fiance is LE, so I know the feeling.  He’s out on patrol right now – he’s been an LEO for 8 years and we’ve been together for 4 of them.  I’m used to the nights sleeping alone, the solo dinners and lonely holidays, doesn’t mean I like them!

Be damn proud of what he does, I know it really sucks sometimes.  I think what the PP above said is good advice – get to know his team mates, their families, it helps to have others to talk to that are in the same boat.


Post # 9
9053 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2010

I married a police officer as well.  I don’t really have too much advice for you that hasn’t already been said, and that it gets better.  I just remind myself that people die in accidents doing completely mundane things every day, and my husband does everything in his power to come home safely. 

Post # 10
4047 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: January 2014

The Arizona firefighters really go to me… the whole state was hit hard. I went to a rodeo up in northern Arizona over the fourth of July, and there were tons of tributes to them. So sad. But still, you can see how much respect these guys get, and they really are appreciated. And these guys seem to love what they do, which is what your Fiance says. You have to let him be, but I know it doesn’t stop the worrying!

Post # 11
2301 posts
Buzzing bee

My Fiance is an fireman as well, and I don’t think about it. He’s volunteer.

It’s part of who he is and its one of the reasons I fell in love with him. And the uniform is nice Wink I can’t worry about it because that would only feed negative thoughts, and I dont want to do that. I know that he would never do something foolish, and I’m sure the same is true with your Fiance. Positive thoughts.

Post # 13
224 posts
Helper bee

All I can say is to hang in there. As the child of a military turned firefigher, I really do understand how hard this can be. I hated trying to say up as a kid hoping my mom came home, and came home unhurt, there we times I would get to sit in the firetruck while they fought the fire as well because she was a single mom and sometimes it was the only way. It helped for me to try and bond with others that went though the same thing, a lot of times I would stay with some of the mens wives and we would all stay up and worry together and keep eachother company…it really helped even as a kid.

I should add that I know its not directly the same thing but I do know the feeling.

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