(Closed) IDK how to talk to him about, and deal with my anxiety…

posted 6 years ago in Wellness
Post # 3
276 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

I also have anxiety issues and a mild form off bipolar disorder and my Fiance tries to understand but people who don’t experience this really can’t relate to it.  It is hard sometimes when I’m having a really rough day, but I just keep trying to explain it to him hoping one day he will be 100% supportive. However I do take medication and believe me it does help!!!! I wouldn’t be so opposed to it, maybe you should give it a try.

Post # 4
1226 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

Bump! I am interested in this

Post # 5
1226 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

Have you tried writing a journal? It might help keep you focus and get your thoughts in order… Might helpt your stress levels? Maybe write him a letter..? Don’t be so hard on yourself, try to better one thing at a time, take things slow 😉

Post # 6
1733 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

First of all — I am so glad that you’re seeing someone to work through all of this stuff! You should feel good about making good choices about your health.

I think I understand your mixed feelings about taking pills…there’s such a lot of stigma built up about mental health, and fear about the potential side effects, and what if they change your personality, and it can feel like being on pills means you’re REALLY crazy, etc, etc…

I would say, though, that your GAD means that you have more than just a problem with how you think. Because of the anxiety and OCD, your brain is just on constant overdrive producing all those anxiety chemicals — so there’s more of them than your body can handle, and your body may be less capable of handling them *anyway* because of your condition. If your pancreas wasn’t working right to help you process sugar, you’d take insulin so that you didn’t end up in a diabetic coma. There would be no other option. You should consider that, just like the synthetic insulin, your body and brain might work better with the pills to help regulate your condition. It might be worth a shot.

I’m not going to judge you for the pot (I’m assuming that it’s pot and not crack that you’re smoking!), but you should consider that there are a bunch of mental illnesses for which pot use is really counter-indicated. Some people also think that pot helps them manage their mental illness. In ANY case, I think you have to acknowledge that your pot use is likely a factor in your treatment of your mental illness — whether you’re self-medicating your anxiety, or whether it may be exacerbating your issues in one way or another. You seem to feel guilty about it — which, in combination with OCD and GAD suggests that there’s some emotion tied up there.

I’m not surprised to hear that you feel insecure about talking to your partner about your feelings of anxiety — shame is totally built into the OCD and anxiety cycle. All I can say is “radical acceptance” — acknowledge how you’re feeling, that’s OK/permissible to feel that way even though it doesn’t feel GOOD to feel that way, and that part of it being OK to feel that way is sharing it with your partner, who should be able to respond non-judgmentally.

Post # 7
815 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

My fiance has anxiety as well.  I’ve known since we met & we’ve been together over 9 years so I’ve had some time to learn about some of his challenges.  While I don’t really have any of the same issues he does, I have my own challenges & I can relate to him in other ways.  When you love someone, it’s a little easier to be supportive, and open when they talk to you about it.  I often have to drag it out of him, he doesn’t always just openly talk about things, but I know when he does talk about it, it’s a relief.  And it’s honestly a relief for me too because I can understand why he acted a certain way & realize that it had nothing to do with me, but something he was going through.

My brother also has pretty severe anxiety.  Both of them have explained that not wanting to take pills is a part of the disorder.  My brother said he lived with so much stress from it for years, and when he finally decided to try medication, he was so angry that he hadn’t done it sooner.  He was able to live his life without fear for so long that he no longer needs to take the medication.

My fiance just takes xanax when he travels, but he’s still not too excited about taking medication regularly.  For a long time, he wouldn’t even take the xanax, but now he has no problem taking it to travel & it makes a huge difference for him.  One thing he will do if he hasn’t taken it in a while is try it once in a non-stressful situation, like an evening at home when I’m with him.  Maybe those are some ideas you can try.

I also know that he believes the anxiety may have been started from other substances in the first place.  I’m just putting that out there incase that has any effect on you.

But the main point I’m trying to get at, is that talking to your partner about it can be a huge help for both of you.  Good luck, I hope you can get to a place where you feel better!

Post # 8
2655 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 2013

Hi, I have suffered from GAD and while I am much better I have my moments. It’s definitely something you have to manage. I complexly understand the smoking. When I was feeling verystressed, I used to have wine every evening because it was the only thing that would make me feelas llittle better. I was advised to stop using this as a way to relax and over time reduced and stoppingdoing this.

What I did to improve stress levels:

-mediatation: this is not for everyone and I was one of those people who found it quite difficult! It did work though because I perserved. I found a very good cd on Mindfullness. I can find out the name if you’re interested. Can’t remember off hand. I’ve also used relaxation CDs to help me to sleep. V good.

-Exercise- this is one I try to keep up all the time. This is really important for people who suffer stress. I remember I was with my counsellor telling her about an extremely stressful situation I needed to prepare for in work. She told me to leave her office and go straight the gym! I did that and I was so much more prepared the nxt day than I would have been! I exercise about 4-5 times a week but if you do it 3 times that is loads.

Healthy diet- again makes you feel somuch better about youself.

Xanax the very odd time to deal with very stressful situations. I probably used it once or twice a year.

I hope this helps a little. I have been there and know what it is like. Btw, it is very hard for others to know what it is like. I remember I told two friends about how I had been feeling. One of them said (seriously!) ‘so you won’t be getting engaged before me’ and the other one never referred to it again or asked how I was! With my SO I try to explain how feeling long so he is aware of it and can help in any way he can. Last week I had a very stressful situation that was dealt with and sorted but I couldn’t relax after it. I was a ball of nerves for about a week after it. I explained this to him so that he understands the difficulties I have in stressful situations! Wow, this this is my longest post. Hope I haven’t bored you!

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