Post # 1
So my wedding is about four mouths away and I have four bridesmaids. Out of those 4 girls I have two that are prefect for my Maid/Matron of Honor. I just know which one I should pick!! My fiancé is staying out of it. He says it’s something I need to do because they are mine friends. So I need some help bc I can tell them I don’t know who to pick.
One of them is my friend since I was in 6th grade. We have been friends for about 10 + years. I know her whole family and she knows mine. I know most of her dark secrets and she knows mine. We were even roommates after high school, and there was not a day we weren’t together. But a couple a years ago we had a falling out. To make a long story short, we got into a big fight since she was dating this guy and I was single. We had two totally different lives. And we had a falling out, we didn’t talk for almost two years till her dad passed away and after that we been in each other lives again. She is married and at stay at home mom. I’m getting married but I work and go to school full time. But we make time for each other. My fiancé and her husband are great friends and he is also a part of my wedding.
Now my other friend I met in high school. She is a great friend and has always been there when I needed her. She was there when I got engaged and has been a shoulder to cry on. We became really close after my and my other friend weren’t talking. She is my gym buddy and helping me get in shape for the wedding. Whenever I need to run a wedding related errand she is there!
The hard part is that both of them have been there for me when I needed them the most. I am torn and I don’t know who to pick. Just because i know my other friend longer doesn’t not mean she is my Maid/Matron of Honor. But she dose know me and can call my BS a mile a way. My other friend has patients with me even when I get in my wedding moods.
Some one pleases help or give me some advice because I am lost.
Post # 3
Couldn’t they both be the MOH? Just have co-MOHs.
Post # 4
You are totally allowed to have two maids of honor. 🙂 I have a friend who is having more than one.
Post # 5
Honestly this is exactly why we chose not to have a best man or maid of honor it was WAY to difficult a decision and there were either feelings that would be hurt or reasons that could be found for or against either side. It was all to sticky and uncomfortable that not putting that label on one particular friendship was the easiest and most stress free option for us.
Post # 6
Why not just not have a MOH? Problem solved. I think it would be strange to have two MOHs when you only have four BMs.
Post # 7
the only problem is I need a Maid/Matron of Honor, bc we are not having childern and MY Maid/Matron of Honor and his Bridesmaid or Best Man are holding our rings. i still dont know!
Post # 8
From reading what you’ve said about both of your close friends, I can see that you are torn. I was in a somewhat similar situation, except that I started weighing all the pros and cons and then decided and am glad for my decision. My Maid/Matron of Honor is a single woman and she’s older than me or any of my other bridesmaids/friends . . . she doesn’t have kids, she isn’t in school right now (plans to take more college courses this fall, that’s how we met 2 1/2 years back, in college), she’s been through all sort of heck in her life and has experience but not bitterness, she’s SO super supportive of me and not only lets me vent willingly but also contributes when asked and is very non-judgmental and mature. . . . .we’ve laughed so hard together that we both cried! haha And I KNOW I could literally cry with her and she’d be there for me. I don’t know for sure how emotionally supportive the other girl I considered would be compared to my Maid/Matron of Honor . . . .
Also, she is very artistic/creative and loves to help me out with ideas for my wedding, has offered to help in any way possible (she offered weeks before I even asked her to be my MOH!!) and is supremely excited for me and my fiance…..she lives in the same town as I do, so that makes things a little easier. And she can be the life of the party/hold a great conversation/make people lighten and loosen up, so I figured she’d be awesome at our wedding and reception! 🙂 And you know something, she was tickled beyond words when I DID ask her to be my MOH!!!
Those are the many, many, MANY reasons I chose my Maid/Matron of Honor. As I stacked up similarities and differences between her and my other friend, it all just became clear. As business-like and objective as it may sound, maybe you ought to do something like that with your two friends in mind…..line them up in your mind or even on paper (for your eyes only I’d say), and write out the pros and cons. Go with the one who has the most pros.
Hope that helps!! Wishing you well!! 🙂
Post # 9
Do either one of the girls not really care whether or not they are MOH? Which one of the girls would be more devastated if she wasn’t your MOH?
I’m only asking this b/c I have a couple of close friends and lucky for me… a number of them don’t get caught up or offended in the whole wedding party stuff. So I know if I didn’t chose someone as Maid/Matron of Honor they wouldn’t really care… they’d just be honored that I asked them to be a Bridesmaid or Best Man in the first place.
Post # 10
I am kinda going through the same thing myself! i am not having any Maid/Matron of Honor because i dont wanna hurt anyone and i told them all they are sooo special to me its hard to choose! with that being said they are all going to be ONE MEGA Maid/Matron of Honor lol like one mega transformer. they can all share the duties!! ha ha