- 2 weeks ago
We’ve been together for about 8 months. We’ve both had one serious relationship in the past. Him: 10 years, married, child. Me: 6 years.
8 months is nothing in hindsight; however, long enough for two older adults to know what they want and don’t want. I think?
He knows my feelings for him have grown. He’s always been very emotionally closed off. We had a good conversation last night that led into a deep conversation. Shortening it up, he wants to take things slow (used wood burning as an example) instead of what he did with his ex-wife. Things moved fast and apparently went out just as fast, which didn’t make sense to me since they were together for 10 years.
Anyways, I felt as though it was completely appropriate and understanding. I don’t want to get married tomorrow. I want to get to know him better and better. My serious relationship, too, escalated fast. I get it.
However, this comment bothered me: “I don’t want to use words to describe the feelings I have for you because once you say them they are expected to be said.” Then goes on to say “I like you. I really like you. We get along great together.”
I haven’t said “those words” either and am not ready yet. Obviously, he’s not ready either. However, the expecting to be said part threw me off. I took it as a “I can still break up with you tomorrow and you can’t be upset about it” way. Non-commital.
Whenever I wanted to take it slow, I wasn’t sure I had feelings for a particular guy.