(Closed) If he knows you will say “YES”… does that ruin the proposal for him??

posted 8 years ago in Waiting
  • poll: Does your BF have any clue what your answer is BEFORE he proposes?
    YES.. He already knows I want to marry him. : (126 votes)
    94 %
    YES...He knows that now is NOT the right time. : (1 votes)
    1 %
    NO...He thinks I'm on the fence. : (4 votes)
    3 %
    No... He has no clue what I'm thinking because we haven't talked about it. : (3 votes)
    2 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    485 posts
    Helper bee

    My Boyfriend or Best Friend is the same; he wants the proposal to be a complete surprise without me knowing when it will happen. He knows that the answer will be yes.

    I think it’s probably reassuring for a guy to know that if he makes all that effort to buy a ring and planning a nice proposal, the effort will be worth it… so I don’t think you’re ruining anything by being clear about what you want.

    Post # 4
    Member
    240 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: August 2010

    My Fiance and I had talked about marriage many times before he proposed. I thought that he knew my answer was yes, and was very surprised when he was SO NERVOUS during the actual proposal (which was insanely romantic btw). When I asked him about it later on, he explained that even though he was pretty sure I would say Yes, it is such a monumental step and a right of passage that he did feel nervous.

    Post # 5
    Member
    806 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: August 2010

    It’s fairly common that the guy wants to surprise the girl… but I’ve never heard of a guy wanting the response to be a surprise!  I can’t believe there are that many proposals going on where the guy literally thinks her answer is a 50/50 tossup. 

    Post # 6
    Member
    3041 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: May 2010

    Growing up, the way proposals are portrayed in movies, I always thought the guy suprised the girl by asking & she had no clue he would ask & he didn’t know what the answer would be. However, I talked to quite a few people about this & I’ve been told its very important to talk about where your future is headed with your SO. You want to both be on the same page… or else he may never propose & he didn’t know that’s what she wanted or she may get asked & not be ready for it. Its very good if you talk about it before. Before my now husband & I started dating/courting, we talked about how we both felt the other person was the one we could potentially marry someday. I don’t remember how the subject came up, but 5 months later we told each other that we knew we would one day marry each other (not like in a proposal kind of way). 1 month later, he proposed. :). I don’t think a guy would ask a girl to marry him if he didn’t think the answer would be yes.

    Post # 7
    Member
    655 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: January 2011

    I think for a lot of guys I know they have an irrational fear that the girl might say no and they’d be mortified. My Fiance was one of them–all nervewracked that I’d turn him down even though he knew I wouldn’t. He appreciated that I told him that I’d say yes.

    Post # 8
    Member
    6597 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: August 2010

    I think a guy should assume the girl would say yes when he asks. That’s an expensive purchase if he thinks it’s a 50:50 chance!

    I also believe marriage is a decision both parties should discuss before a proposal – yes less romantic but sensible!

    Post # 9
    Member
    14186 posts
    Honey Beekeeper
    • Wedding: June 2009

    Ummm if he doesn’t think she’ll say yes, he shouldn’t ask her yet!! YIKES!

    Post # 10
    Member
    1854 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: December 2009

    I think that saying NO would actually ruin the proposal way more that knowing in advance you’re going to accept!

    Post # 11
    Member
    2496 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: January 1991

    I also think that couples should make sure it’s the right choice/time.  Communication is key when making a life decision.  And yes, my Boyfriend or Best Friend knows I will say yes.  In fact, I told him if he didn’t get around to it, I’d propose to him!  But I know he will be nervous hehe.. it’s going to be so cute!!  He’s adorable when he’s nervous. ๐Ÿ™‚ 

    I think most guys would get more nervous trying to make sure everything works out/you’re surprised/things go as planned.  Most aren’t as worried about your answer, at least from the guys I’ve talked to. 

    Post # 12
    Member
    636 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: June 2009

    I think guys that are into the surprise are all about surprising their girlfriend about the exact moment he is going to propose or how he is going to do it.  I kind of doubt that there are that many men out there proposing without anticipating the girl saying yes.  I think that it is why it is so hard for guys who are into the surprise aspect to actually do it.  In most relationships, both people know that the time is right, so the ‘surprise’ guy is waiting for the right moment to catch her off guard.

    Post # 13
    Member
    1032 posts
    Bumble bee

    Its a mutual decision that should be discussed ahead of time… but that doesn’t mean its any less romantic!

    Guys LOVE spoiling their girls and feeling like the macho provider who made his girl proud, so the surprise factor would most likely come from his method of asking and your reaction, not your feelings about marrying him or not.

    No way I’d ask if I didn’t know the answer for sure! But, that’s just me ๐Ÿ™‚

    Post # 15
    Member
    636 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: June 2009

    @sdjurado84: Yeah, if he knows for sure you know its coming and are waiting waiting waiting, I would think the best way to get him moving is to just be happy, not talk about engagement, wedding plans, etc. and let him *think* you will be caught off guard.  ๐Ÿ™‚ It is cute that he really wants to surprise you! He probably has something special planned.

    Post # 16
    Member
    209 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: September 2010

    I asked my Fiance the same question and his response was “Even though I was pretty sure of the answer, you just never know.  There are just some things you shouldn’t always assume.”  I guess, that’s the point of asking in the first place.  ๐Ÿ˜‰

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