(Closed) If he’s been married before..have you ever seen those wedding pics?

posted 9 years ago in Encore
Post # 3
Bee
1048 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2009 - City Hall

They didnt get married, but I’ve seen pics of he and his ex together- we got rid of those! And he’s seen mine too – we ALSO got rid of those. It’s just nicer to have them gone – the less reminders there are, the less you remember that that *other* person even existed. But I would definitely want to see pics of his wedding, had he had one – like you, I would hate to have similar stylistic elements. But also like you, I don’t think I would anyway, as she and I are very different personalities and tastes. Also though, I think if I was chosing something, he’d let me know if it was a no-go for that reason.

Post # 4
Member
148 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

My Fiance and I actually looked at the pics of his first wedding together. We’ve always said his first marriage is a part of what made him who he is today, so there’s no point pretending it didn’t happen. We are getting married in the same month as his first wedding, and I didn’t want any of his family having flashbacks 🙂 I wanted it to be as different as possible. It also gave us a chance to talk about what he DID like about his first wedding, so we could have a "If I could do it over" kinda talk. It gave me some great ideas, and allowed him to provide input to make The Big Day special and comfortable for him, too.

Post # 6
Member
35 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: October 2009

My Fiance doesn’t have his wedding pictures anymore, but I have seen pictures of them together (I have the unfortunate displeasure of interacting with her from time to time during kid activities) but he does have their wedding video which i want to throw away…his reasoning is to keep it for their kids in case they ever want to see it. Until then, it stays in a dark (mostly) forgotten corner in our upstairs crawl space-hopefully the day will never come that it has to be dug out of there.

Post # 7
Member
7 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: March 2009

I do not want to see pictures of my fiance’s last wedding.  I frankly don’t need those images in my head. it was a long time ago, and I think our weddings are going to be quite different. I am sure that there will be little visual resemblance to remind him of his last one.  One thing that did happen was that I suggested having the wedding at his parents’ house and he said that would not be a good idea since his last wedding was there.  That idea was nixed very quickly, and I am glad. 

Post # 8
Member
80 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: February 2009

Not only have I seen pictures of them together…but I caught the bouquet last time! Yikes!

It is kind of weird…but not too weird. They were young.

Post # 9
Member
5823 posts
Bee Keeper

The only thing that has come up was I wanted sunflowers for the wedding, but she really loves sunflowers and had them everywhere in their house.  So now he hates sunflowers!  Bummer.  Could have done a cool brown and yellow thing…

I moved on to tulips, and all is right with the world!

Post # 10
Member
96 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: June 2008

I didn’t care to see the photos but ended up seeing them in an unfortunate, unplanned way.  Early in our relationship, we went to his brother’s house to meet the family for the first time.  They made us sleep in separate bedrooms… I got to sleep in the ‘office’.  The screensaver on the computer had a slideshow of my husband’s first wedding!!!  I’m pretty sure my sister-in-law planned it… she’s very passive aggressive in many other ways.  Crazy! 

Post # 11
Member
332 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2009

I saw one picture of his wedding day on his MySpace page before we started dating. It’s burned into my retinas! Haha! I’m concerned about having the ceremony be too similar to his first one b/c we’re using the same preacher. There’s a backstory to that one–I knew him before she did. We met at church with said preacher. We lost touch, he married her with him officiating, they divorced, he and I reunited and decided to get married. It makes sense to have that preacher be our officiant b/c he was there at the beginning of our friendship. I’m just worried that to his family, it will look like everything’s the same–just with the bride switched out, so I’m trying to do things differently. 

Post # 12
Member
2641 posts
Sugar bee

I can’t remember if  Isawthe pics.  But I definitely saw he video.  Why did I torcher myself?

Post # 13
Member
35 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: October 2009

Tanya123-wow…you are a stronger person than me! my fingers itch if its near b/c i want to destroy it so bad (although there is a part that wants to see it…kinda that can’t help but look at a car accident thing!)

Post # 14
Member
294 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2009

I kept my pics from my first wedding. Thats all that I kept from that relationship. He was crazy (and thats being reallllllly nice). I had my mom take it and put it up because I haven’t decided if I want to keep it or not. I just know that I will not have something from my past relationship in my FH house. One of these days I’ll decide what to do with them, but there is no way that my FH is going to see them. I don’t every talk about my ex. I have answered any questions he has, but if I don’t have to mention that time in my life, I don’t.

Post # 15
Member
55 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: July 2009

You ladies make me feel like I must be demented or something.  He has never been married before, but I LOVE seeing pictures of old girlfriends.  And it is not just to size myself up to them (naturally, I do… but some of the exs are smokin so I cant get too caught up in it). Our lives are so intertwined now, that when I see pictures of his life before me, I am absolutely fascinated by it.  I love hearing stories… I just think it is so fun learning about his experiences shaped him into the man he is today.

I must be weird.

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