Post # 17
lilbird, you’re not the only crazy one. 🙂
I’m sure it would be different if he had ever been married before, but I get a kick out of hearing stories from his "past life"! After thinking about it more though, I still wouldn’t want to see the pictures.
Post # 18
He’s been married before, and so have I. I havne’t seen the pictures from his first wedding and he hasn’t seen mine, but we have talked about it. We both had big, formal first weddings-as was the trend in the early 90’s, ring styles, dress styles, etc.-everything was so very different. We are both who we are now bc of where we’ve been-and as much as we would have liked to have married each other the first time, I don’t think we would have worked then the way we work now bc part of how well we work now is bc of where we’ve been-does that make any sort of sense?
I don’t know that I want to see those pictures. I kept my wedding album and video-put away-because my children may want to see where they came from one day. No matter how happy we are now as a couple, and how happy the four of us are as a family-every child wants to know where they came from. My fiance’ says that he really doesn’t remember or care to remember his first wedding/marriage bc he was so unhappy-which would be why she is an ex now and we are getting married.
Definitely an interesting conversation though. I’m sure our wedding is very different bc of time of year (we were both spring/summer before) and our wedding is in October and that ours is a morning wedding with a brunch reception.
Post # 19
T and I always joke around about what would have happened if he had met me during his senior year in college (I would have been a freshman).
He agreed he probably would have dated me, but caught flack for it because I’m 4 years younger..
We both have difficult x spouses, (although mine is becoming finally less of one thankfully now due to some of his issues which were self induced) and I don’t think either of us really want to see the others’ albums as it is just a reminder to me of how I had a lovely day with my family and friends but somehow managed back in 1996 to spend over 20k. Even back then.
Post # 20
hehe..I drove my Fiance back to his old house to (finally!) get his "stuff" from his ex-wife. She stuck the DVD of their wedding in the pile of DVD’s..yeah, I watched it. He told me all about it before hand-all of the "signs" on the wedding day that it was a mistake. It was amazing to see how it was all for show-the way she stood next to him, well, more like away from him. The unity candle wasn’t lit, the doves flew away from eachother, a bee attacked her, stuff like that.
we had a good laugh, and he pointed out his family that I have yet to meet. It did help me make up my mind on the dress I am going to wear! I don’t regret seeing the video. he has since thrown it out. As for me, my wedding album was stolen before my divorce (a sign?). I only have one picture and it is in my kids’ family album, in storage…I was preggers and it was a civil ceremony, nothing fancy.
Post # 21
Unfortunately, yes. The stupid hag posted TONS AND TONS of pictures of them together and for days my facebook kept showing them. It made me die inside. He didn’t even know they were friends on facebook.. I wouldn’t be surprised if she hacked in and did it. I hate that woman. Those pictures are such a sore spot for me: I’d rather run the risk of having a similar wedding than have to see them ever again. That being said, he knows if he brings her up I’ll cry. Once he mistakenly called me by her name (because he’d been talking about an aunt of the same name) and ohh boy. He turned white.
I hate his ex. She’s tried to break us up, and just so many painful things have happened because of her.
Post # 22
When he was moving in he unpacked a box that was full of old photos and he showed me an album his mom made for him of his last one. They didn’t have real wedding… got married in the courthouse and then had a party. the pics were of the party.
Post # 23
Funny story…I was a guest at his last wedding. So, yes I remember it.
Post # 24
In my case, I’m the one who was married before. NotFroofy never had been. But NotFroofy met my ex on the way back home from the airport, when I picked her up for our first meeting. So “pretending it didn’t happen” wasn’t exactly an option for her. At the same time, she was well aware that I wasn’t carrying a torch for him.
When NotFroofy and I began planning our wedding, she asked to see pictures from my first wedding, to give her an idea of what a Jewish wedding was like. (I’m Jewish; she is not.) We didn’t make any special effort to make the second wedding different from the first. The fact that they were over 30 years apart, and that my first wedding reflected my ex-husband and me while my second reflected NotFroofy and me was enough to make them quite different. Ironically, the one thing that was definitely the same was that my ex-husband and his sister attended my second wedding–at NotFroofy’s suggestion.
Post # 25
My current Fiance has never been married before, but previously I was engaged to a man who was divorced. He kept all of the pictures in a storage room in his house. I came to live with him from overseas – he was military – and the second or third day there he asked me to go up to that room and dig around for his birth certificate and divorce documents to save time preparing for our own wedding, since he was working all day and I had nothing to do.
Even the fact that I was on the hunt for his divorce documents was kind of weird, but it got much weirder when I saw the stack of perfectly framed wedding pictures leaning against the wall. I hated her for such a long time, just the sight of her there in her dress, with her perfect runner’s body that he always tortured me by comparing with mine.
Irony of ironies, she saved my ass. That man had so many problems and disgusting issues, and finally I tracked her down, called her out of the blue, and asked her why they divorced. Oh, wow, did I get an earful. I found out that she left him (of course he told me the opposite) because he was a truly disgusting sex addict who bullied her into having the perfect body, etc. – and she had the signed admission of fault from him to prove her side of the story.
Now when I think of that picture, I feel so sad for her and so lucky for myself that I escaped! It’s still burned into my retinas, but as a warning, almost…
Post # 26
We both haven’t been married before but, of course, have exs. I actually left my ex for him so he knew who the guy was but it’s never been an issue(thankfully). I, on the other hand, have never met his ex but can’t stand the thought of her. They only dated a year but any pictures of them together has always freaked me out because they, at the time, looked “in love” and she’s the only other woman that he’s been with. I think a lot of women get that sinking feeling in their stomach when they see pictures thinking they might not measure up but the important thing to remember is that he is with YOU. I used to stalk her Facebook though, I’ll admit it and it just made me paranoid because she kept pictures. I have no pictures of my exs, they really are old news. He has some pictures with her in them but only because they took a trip to Eurpoe with a group of other kids in high school. I’ve learned to just let go and not look, there really is no benefit to looking.
Post # 27
@liztwinz: We always say _ If we hadn’t been there we wouldn’t be here….
Post # 28
I never have actually and at this point don’t want to!
Post # 29
I am glad my DH hasn’t shown me pictures, because knowing me, I’d just say unkind things about her. Like why the heck did A FABULOUS LOOKING and WONDERFUL guy marry that thing? I mean…ummm? But she has always had bad hair (at least whenever I’ve had the pleasure of seeing her..she is always mean and unfriendly and I am always the one trying to be friendly when we get H’s dd for visitations).
Anyhow, now since our wedding is over I don’t think seeing the photos would bother me at all. I know we’re tight, have a lovely marriage and family, and even if she had a celebrity wedding planner, hollywood stylist, or the figure of a supermodel in the photos,, I’d not get upset. Life, love, and happiness has a way of fixing that!
Post # 30
His mom owns one of the largest independent tax places in the mid west. I visited her office for the first time in August of last year so she could redo my military pay, I was due a nice refund! We had been dating about 9 months or so at this point. The office is his first childhood home, photos everywhere, in frames, taped up along the ceiling, totally random like.
Behind some old Christmas pictures of people I don’t know, I see, poking out, his wedding day photo!!! She is hidden behind the photo on top of it, but there he is, looking at me while I was in the chair in front of his mom’s desk.
I was too surprised to say anything. It took every ounce of restraint to not rip it off the wall. I know she feels the same about his ex as the whole family does…I think she does not get enough photos of her son is all.
As soon as we are officially engaged, that photo is getting taken down, that is for sure.
I did not tell my man I saw it though. I saw it again when I had my taxes done in February. I will hold my tongue until new photos are made.
Post # 31