(Closed) If I could do it all over again…

posted 8 years ago in Emotional
Post # 18
Member
272 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

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@MrsBeck:  lol yea that’s another one I keep hearing. I’m sure that no everyone will come, but I also don’t want to under estimate how much of my family will turn out for a nice free meal.

And our parent would pay if we let them, but we wanted to have as much control as possible. So far the guest list has been the only problem :/

Post # 20
Member
1156 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

Sorry to hear that you have more people coming than you wanted. My mom thought every Tom, Dick and Harry that we have ever known would be invited too. We just politely refused. I am sure that your wedding will be awesome. All that really matters is that you are marrying the man that you love!Enjoy your day!

Post # 21
Member
1344 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: January 2014

I don’t understand why some parents think it’s appropriate to use a wedding as an excuse to invite everyone they know to hang out. A wedding is no reason to invite your neighbour’s cousin’s new girlfriend’s goldfish. Our parents aren’t inviting anyone, I don’t see why some random person I haven’t met would care to watch me get married anyway.

Sorry you’re going through this, it’s a sucky situation.

Post # 22
Member
2701 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

I’m sorry your wedding is larger than you wanted.  It is hard because he who pays gets a say.  But on the bright side, you’ll probably get more presents!  Wink

Post # 23
Member
272 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

Apparently it’s the “polite” thing to do. Like int he co-worker situation, apparently even though I never met most of these people my mom talk to them a lot and apparently she talks about me and Fiance. So, she ends up talking about the wedding to these people and then they feel like since they’ve hear so much about it they’re going to be invited.

Or at least that’s my mom’s reasoning. It makes since to me, but at the same time I still don’t feel bad for not wanting to invite them

 

 

 

 

 

Or at least that’s my mom’s reasioning. It makes since to me, but at the same time I still don’t feel bad for not wanting to invite them

 

 

 

Post # 25
Member
1176 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

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@MrsBeck:  We’re doing it at the reception as people come into the building. That’s the only way I’ve ever seen it done. At least at the ones I’ve been in, there’s very little wait time as people gradually come into the reception, as opposed to all leaving the ceremony at once. And anyone who doesn’t want to wait doesn’t have to, but they give up the right to feel slighted at not being greeted if they don’t.

No matter what you do, someone will find something to complain about. So you have to do what you think is right. (Which shouldn’t be confused with doing whatever you want – I wish someone would take the phrase IT’S YOUR DAY away from the so-called “wedding experts.”)

Post # 28
Member
1326 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

Nothing ever comes without strings attached, it seems. I agree with the others. It’s one day! You’ll have a great time, I’m sure. A receiving line makes a lot of sense.

Post # 29
Member
2902 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

It always blows my mind when I see threads like this. When parents and inlaws completely take over a wedding. It turns it into a place for them to show off rather than celbrate their childrens love. It’s horribly selfish and quite strange. 

Post # 30
Member
4494 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

That sucks 🙁

We had considered eloping for a long time, but my mother so badly wanted a wedding (I’m her only child) so I agreed. My parents are paying for it, but from the start there was one condition – despite who is paying, it is still my and FI’s wedding. As long as its in the budget, we make the choices. My parents agreed and we had no issues. We’re having a small wedding – about 50 people, but all along my mother has tried to add more to the guest list. She backs off, because she knows its our choice, but if it were up to her we would be having 250 people.

 

I’ve been to a few large weddings and the couple just didn’t have time to physically talk to everyone. It was totally understandable and I don’t think anyone was offended. The bride and groom made an announcement and thanked everyone for coming and that seemed to suffice.

Post # 31
Member
712 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

@MrsBeck:  It’s as if you wrote this post for me. Same pains about parents paying for the wedding. At one point I was actually told “you’ll get to plan a wedding when your kids get married”. I am completely lucky that our parents helped us with this, but if I could go back, I would do something small, intimate, and potentially in another country because in the end of all this…I just want to be married!!

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