(Closed) if I die, will you remarry?—I asked this to my fiance

posted 7 years ago in Relationships
Post # 168
Member
1065 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

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@stephanie2013:  Haha, you have a point though… 🙂

Post # 169
Member
2959 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

I would want my FH is remarry if he found the right person. Why would I care if he remarried or not after my death? In fact, I would want him to find someone who made him happy after I was gone.

Post # 170
Member
543 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

@stephanie2013:  It would be the greatest tribut to me if I passed away and my husband went on to live a life of happiness, passion, and love for the rest of his life. 

Post # 172
Member
1199 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

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@stephanie2013:  

If you are still obsessing over this to the point you are questioning your relationship and confidence in your Fi, then you REALLY need to talk about it to a counselor.

Not everyone believes in soul-mates. I would definitely re-marry if my DH died and I would want him to as well (or be in a long term relationship, whatever he’s comfortable with). He knows this, and has no problem with it. There are many bees on here who are re-married after being widowed and it is VERY insulting to insinuate that their first DHs were not their “true love” or that they didn’t “really” love them if they were able to remarry.

You brought this up, your Fiance is not sitting around “preparing” for the next version of you after you die.

Post # 173
Member
30 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: August 2012

There is something that I really dont understand, why asking a question twice? You already asked him and he already told you, so why askint twice? I was dating a girl befoer that was always asking the same questions two or three times in a year just to see if I was lying. I would have done the same as your husband. My wife (and most of my exs) asked me the same question a few times, and to be honest, yes I would maybe remarry someone else, and that doesnt mean that I dont love my wife, it just means that I am not gonna stop leaving because I lost my wife. Of course it will take time, of course I wont love someone that soon, but life goes on and living in the past isnt the answer. IF I die, I would love to see my wife getting married once again so that she will be happy and not end up her life alone. 

 

Post # 174
Member
120 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

Fiance and I have had this conversation. He claims he would never want to be with anyone else or remarry and I told him that I want him to find someone else. I would most likely date and be in a committed relationship (without official marriage). I can’t imagine remarrying necessarily but I would not want to spend the rest of my life having lost Fiance and being alone with no companionship (sexual and otherwise). I feel in a lot of ways like so much of my life would be dying with him. No one should go through life without companionship because they lost their loved one before their time.

Post # 176
Member
30 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: August 2012

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@fiver:  +100000000

I can’t agree more with you! Well said. 

And why asking such question? Dont think about your death or what will happen after your death, its a waste of time. 

Post # 177
Member
2664 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2015 - Ketchum, ID

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@stephanie2013:  I think no one can really say what they would feel or do until they’re in this position. If they remarried pretty quickly after you passed, then yes, I’d feel a little betrayed, hurt, etc. However, after years? 5 years? 10 years? 15 years? I’d expect them to move on with their life and become as happy as they can. Is that possible without getting remarried? Maybe, it’s up to the person. I know I’m happier when I’m with someone I love. However, I would expect my SO to remarry at some point after I died, or at least find a long-term committed relationship. Granted, after being on the Bee a while, I’ve noticed that neither one of us view marriage quite like most of the people here haha. 

Post # 178
Member
2675 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

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@LoggerHead91207:  I remember that story so clearly. It was a horrible, tragedy. I had not heard anything further about it in years since the trial. I am very happy to hear that Dr Petit has found some peace and happiness after suffering so much. 

 

 

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@stephanie2013:  many of the previous posters have eloquently summed up my opinion on this subject, which is basically the opposite of yours. So, I won’t waste time rehashing points that have already been made. But, I would caution you against obsessing and agonizing over hypotheticals. Life is far too short to spend time manufacturing reasons to be upset. That kind of thinking will impact your own ability to be happy and the happiness of your marriage. 

Post # 179
Member
9830 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: April 2019

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@sugarpea:  Sperm donors, adoption, etc. But that’s the couple’s decision, if they are ok with their spouses marrying someone else that’s their choice. For me and Fiance it wouldn’t work.

Post # 180
Member
9830 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: April 2019

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@BagsnBooks:  All of those things are off limits too. You can get hugged and kissed by family and friends.

I am 23, but what does my age have to do with anything? And no I’m not “just nervous about my upcoming wedding”

Post # 181
Member
9830 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: April 2019

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@lalalyanne:  I would say being called selfish is an insult but to each their own.

ETA: And I guess to you calling someone stupid or ugly would be ok too? Since ‘they’re not insults, they’re descriptions’?

The topic ‘if I die, will you remarry?—I asked this to my fiance’ is closed to new replies.

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