- 8 years ago
- Wedding: August 2012
The word Snarky makes me want to vomit.
The word Snarky makes me want to vomit.
Ugh this is ringing so true to me today…
People get upset that “strangers”are giving them advice (that they asked for) and then do the whole “you don’t know me” spiel. Well, duh. But you asked for opinions from strangers, what do you expect?
Sorry. I just agree with this too much today. Although I’m not to the point of leaving, especially not for the The Knot. I like a lot of people here and there are some funs threads to be a part of. But it would be nice not to have to tip toe most of the time.
[Post moderated for sarcasm/snark] I sincerely wish you the best in life and hope you eventually change your mind to rejoin our great community. =)
ETA: I have nothing against The Knot so that was not a knock towards you or the website. I just hate to see people leave.
@mrsSonthebeach: I totally agree i will post a comment that wasn’t mean it was advice ie – should i leave, should i stay he did this and i did that type of threads and the OP will get on me like “No that’s not what i was talking about he doesn’t treat me that way” but the post before mine says the exact same opinion and its like “oh you totally get it!! Like the WTF it’s the same thing.. It is what it is .. We are all strangers with different point of views thats why i like the site..
@Miss Leopard: I’ve said it before but I really think posting on an internet message board is better suited to those with a “thicker” skin. I think people just need to remind themselves “It’s just the internet, strangers I don’t know that think differently than me.”
I do have to watch what I post as well.
Maybe WB should create a “Thick” tab, for all of the thicker skinned ladies to go bitch, curse, and be brutally honest with each other to get it off our chests before we return back to the thinner skinned WB 🙂
PS, how do you know if you’ve been flagged?
You can be flagged to high heaven and never know unless someone feels like saying ” You have been flagged”, in a post to you . You can be flagged for positive things too:) The only way you know your in trouble is if you get a ” warning” which is a private message from a moderator.
So flag does not = trouble. It just draws the staffs attention to a thread.
I like WB and I realize the admins here do the best they can to try to keep the integrity of this site.
I just wish some people could recognize a difference in opinions and not immediately cry that someone is being mean in “their” thread. That is another thing that bugs me as well, is when someone starts a thread and someone else replies with something the OP doesn’t like and the OP then demands that person to not reply anymore in “her” thread. Seriously?? You can’t demand when and where people post at on a public message board, lol.
I think some also need to remember that this is public, meaning every post and every picture of yourself is there for ALL THE WORLD TO SEE if they choose to visit this site.
There is a difference between truth and snark. There is a certain art, I find, to disagreeing with people in a way that doesn’t imply either party is more worthy than the other. It’s about building a community and having conversations that are interesting, thought-provoking, encouraging, accessible to all and positive. I try to think, when I am expressing that I disagree with something, that I’d like the person I disagree with to read my comments, maybe they won’t agree with me, but I hope they will feel positive and up-lifted by my message either way due to my tone and the phrases I use. Snarky comments aren’t necessary when you can say the same thing, and be listened to more and better understood, in a friendlier way.
It’s really sad to hear that Weddingbee is no longer a place where you feel you can get honest opinions. Maybe you will feel differently after some time has passed, or maybe you are just ready to spread your bee wings and fly away. Whichever it is, I wish you the best of luck and I hope you don’t give up on the internet in general. Or the Hive – you’ll always be very welcome to pop back, however infrequent. 🙂
I think the biggest lesson we all have to learn when particpating in online public forums, is that there is no tone of voice, no inflection, and no body language to help interpret the intent behind someone’s remarks.
I was recently PM’d and told I was mean and condescending because I merely posted a link in repsonse to someone’s post asking where they could find something, instead of giving an explanation to go along with the link.
The hilarious part is that the bee who PM’d me was presuming to tell me how other people think. Does she really think I am going to lose sleep over what she thinks? A total stranger on the net? And who elected her to speak on behalf of everyone else?
If I wasn’t trying to be helpful, I wouldn’t have answered the bee’s post with the exact informaton she was requesting.
I try to give people the benefit of the doubt.
Having a community where everyone feels safe is an admirable goal, but that needs to be balanced with ensuring there is an environment where people feel safe to give a thoughtful, honest response. Have you ever noticed the “How do you like my _ _ _ _ _ _ ” posts where there are no responses? Perchance it’s because it is butt ugly and no one feels safe to say so, even in a less harsh manner.
To the OP, I am sorry that some of the response you received were” Hope you enjoy yourself elsewhere”. You had the courage to raise a concern.Some of the responses might be interpreted as a bit passive aggressive, but let’s give them the benefit of the doubt and take their words at face value too.
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