(Closed) If I kept my maiden name, how do I address our "Family"?

posted 6 years ago in Names
  • poll: If you kept your maiden name, how would you/do you address your family?
    The HisLastName HerLastName Family : (2 votes)
    7 %
    The HerLastName HisLastName Family : (11 votes)
    41 %
    The HisLastName Family : (8 votes)
    30 %
    We'd just use first names or first and last names and drop the family : (5 votes)
    19 %
    Other : (1 votes)
    4 %
  • Post # 3
    3175 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: May 2012

    Will your future children have his last name? In that case, I think “The Hislastname Family” would be acceptable. If not, I would personally say “Hisfirstname, Herfirstname, and Futurebaby’sfirstname”. ETA: Just reread, and, apparently, they will have his last name, so I’d go with “The Hislastname Family”, personally. It’s hard for me to say, because I took my husband’s last name. As the receiver of a card, I wouldn’t be confused. If you would be offended by just listing his name, I think that “The Hislastname Herlastname Family” is equally as appropriate.

    Post # 4
    9917 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: June 2013

    My mother kept her last name.  Anytime we had our names mentioned in conjunction with “family” it would be the Herlastname Hislastname Family.  My brother and I both have my mom’s last name as our middle name, too. 


    You could also write, “With love from Mira, Robert, Sandy, and Tommy.”  No last names = no confusion!

    Post # 5
    3262 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: September 2013

    @les105:  Me too. I’ll be known socially as Mrs. Elated, so even before we have kids I don’t have a problem being identified as part of the “Elated Family.”

    NB: I am technically making my name FirstName Overjoyed Elated (no-hyphen) so either last name would actually be correct. 


    Post # 7
    1075 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: September 2010

    I didn’t change my name and we definetly go by The Mylast Hislast Family. Sometimes I even refer to him as Mr. Fiver (Mr mylastname).

    Post # 8
    5494 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: August 2011

    I changed my name about a year after we got married but for that first year we went by HerLastName HisLastName Family.  But I don’t see a problem with going by just his last name if that’s what you want.

    Post # 9
    39 posts
    • Wedding: May 2013

    Our kids have hyphenated names, so it’s easier. They’re Hislast-Mylast, so everything in our household is the Hislast-Mylast Family. 

    The initials are actually T-W, so sometimes we say ” the Tee-Dubs.” Laughing

    Post # 11
    9550 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: August 2013

    I voted other because I don’t really think there is a “correct” way to do things. Just a personal preference. If you like “The HisLastName Family” then go for it! I think that if you choose to not change your name (which I will probably do) you just have to be prepared for a bit of confusion on occasion and not get offended. Then do what you want.

    Post # 12
    5494 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: August 2011

    @oracle:   I never planned on changing my name and was very vocal about it.  DH never pushed me or begged me to change it.  But about 10  months into our marriage my mind changed as quickly as a light being turned on/off.  Literally just one day I said, I’m changing my name.

    I think all of a sudden the appeal and meaning of having one last name mattered more to me than asserting my feminist views.  (for the record I don’t think it makes me any less of a feminist – although my friends and family were surprised I decided to change it).  Now it’s been a few months and I have to admit I’m still getting used to it but I do like the feeling of having one name to unite us and identify him as mine and me as his.  (and I just try to block out the part that his family has the same name as me).

    Post # 13
    3182 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: May 2012

    @Meowkers:  You’ve just described my exact feelings on the name change thing.  I went ahead and did mine a few months after the wedding, but it still seems strange.

    OP I would go with the “HerLastName HisLastName Family” but I bet it doesn’t really come up that often.  First names will work a lot of the time for cards and whatnot. 

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