Post # 1
Member
7173 posts
Busy Beekeeper
I’m in the process of designing holiday cards… this year, we have a fur baby 🙂 but, I’d consider this question valid if real kids ever come along…
I kept my maiden name. My kids would have his last name.
Would it be incorrect to refer to our family as: The HisLastName Family ?
That is my preference… and I’m wondering if it will completely confuse people (thinking that I may have changed my last name to his)…..
Or, is it supposed to be: The HisLastName MyLastName Family?
How would you do it?
Does it even matter?
Post # 3
Member
3175 posts
Sugar bee
Will your future children have his last name? In that case, I think “The Hislastname Family” would be acceptable. If not, I would personally say “Hisfirstname, Herfirstname, and Futurebaby’sfirstname”. ETA: Just reread, and, apparently, they will have his last name, so I’d go with “The Hislastname Family”, personally. It’s hard for me to say, because I took my husband’s last name. As the receiver of a card, I wouldn’t be confused. If you would be offended by just listing his name, I think that “The Hislastname Herlastname Family” is equally as appropriate.
Post # 4
Member
9917 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
My mother kept her last name. Anytime we had our names mentioned in conjunction with “family” it would be the Herlastname Hislastname Family. My brother and I both have my mom’s last name as our middle name, too.
You could also write, “With love from Mira, Robert, Sandy, and Tommy.” No last names = no confusion!
Post # 5
Member
3262 posts
Sugar bee
@les105: Me too. I’ll be known socially as Mrs. Elated, so even before we have kids I don’t have a problem being identified as part of the “Elated Family.”
NB: I am technically making my name FirstName Overjoyed Elated (no-hyphen) so either last name would actually be correct.
Post # 6
Member
7173 posts
Busy Beekeeper
I actually perfer being “The Smith Family” vs. “The Smith Jones Family”. I think the latter, while probably technically correct, is too wordy! 🙂 and our names are very similar, so it’s a bit redunant, IMO, to list both.
Post # 7
Member
1075 posts
Bumble bee
I didn’t change my name and we definetly go by The Mylast Hislast Family. Sometimes I even refer to him as Mr. Fiver (Mr mylastname).
Post # 8
Member
5494 posts
Bee Keeper
I changed my name about a year after we got married but for that first year we went by HerLastName HisLastName Family. But I don’t see a problem with going by just his last name if that’s what you want.
Post # 9
Member
39 posts
Newbee
Our kids have hyphenated names, so it’s easier. They’re Hislast-Mylast, so everything in our household is the Hislast-Mylast Family.
The initials are actually T-W, so sometimes we say ” the Tee-Dubs.” 
Post # 10
Member
7173 posts
Busy Beekeeper
@Meowkers: curious why you made the change – were you planning to do it all along? or were you initially planning on keeping your maiden name?
Post # 11
Member
9550 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
I voted other because I don’t really think there is a “correct” way to do things. Just a personal preference. If you like “The HisLastName Family” then go for it! I think that if you choose to not change your name (which I will probably do) you just have to be prepared for a bit of confusion on occasion and not get offended. Then do what you want.
Post # 12
Member
5494 posts
Bee Keeper
@oracle: I never planned on changing my name and was very vocal about it. DH never pushed me or begged me to change it. But about 10 months into our marriage my mind changed as quickly as a light being turned on/off. Literally just one day I said, I’m changing my name.
I think all of a sudden the appeal and meaning of having one last name mattered more to me than asserting my feminist views. (for the record I don’t think it makes me any less of a feminist – although my friends and family were surprised I decided to change it). Now it’s been a few months and I have to admit I’m still getting used to it but I do like the feeling of having one name to unite us and identify him as mine and me as his. (and I just try to block out the part that his family has the same name as me).
Post # 13
Member
3182 posts
Sugar bee
@Meowkers: You’ve just described my exact feelings on the name change thing. I went ahead and did mine a few months after the wedding, but it still seems strange.
OP I would go with the “HerLastName HisLastName Family” but I bet it doesn’t really come up that often. First names will work a lot of the time for cards and whatnot.
