(Closed) If I was your MOH/Best Man, does that mean you should be in my wedding party?

posted 8 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
80 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

Of course not!  If you are questioning having them in your party then that means that you have other people in mind who you are closer with, I would not let their decision influence yours. 

Post # 4
2186 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

nope not an obligation!!! your bridal party should be folks you want, not something you are doing to fufill an obligation to someone else 🙂

have who you want! 🙂

Post # 5
1403 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

I don’t think there’s an unwritten rule of reciprocity, however it’s a nice gesture.  Presumably, since you’re good enough friends to be invited into her bridal party, you should be good enough friends to invite her into yours, unless you have lots of close friends and family members that just have to come first!

I ended up in a situation where my Fiance was best man at another wedding, and I was invited to be a bridesmaid too.  That groom is going to be best man at our wedding, so the only one left out is that bride.  Of course I felt it appropriate to extend an invitation for her to be my bridesmaid too.

Even if there isn’t room for another bridesmaid in your wedding, there are other “positions” like singer, reader, usher, guest book attendant, etc that would serve as an honorable alternative.

Post # 6
121 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

NO. One of my girls is getting married this coming Feb. and I am not in her wedding. I don’t feel hurt or anything like that. I am just happy for her and look forward to sharing in her special day with the rest of her friends and family.


Post # 7
573 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2010

You don’t need to reciprocate. If your choices of wedding party members might not be clear to your friend why they’re closer to you than she is (non-family members, someone she doesn’t know), you may want to discuss it just to avoid hurt feelings.

Post # 8
502 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

Sorry but I’m going to disagree here. I do think I would feel hurt. I was best man at my friends wedding and when my wedding came around my groom didn’t want my friend on the court but I couldn’t leave him out completely, I would’ve felt utterly rude. At the very least, if you chose not to invite her, you should explain to her that its nothing personal but rather the result of a small party or lots of family or something like that. 

Post # 9
990 posts
Busy bee

i think its polite, but not a requirement

The topic ‘If I was your MOH/Best Man, does that mean you should be in my wedding party?’ is closed to new replies.

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