- 7 years ago
I will not post specifics or what was/was not done.
I am heartbroken over something that my son and FDIL did/did not do. I mean, the kind of hurt that has me keeping back the tears for almost a week.
I told my husband if is at the point that I don’t know if I even want to attend the wedding in several weeks.
I am not angry what-so-ever. I’m hurt, deeply hurt over actions/inactions. I have not said to either son or FDIL anything about their actions/non-actions. Maybe I read too many awful Mother-In-Law stories and so I don’t end up being one of “those” – instead I am just keeping it inside. I just don’t want to “rock the boat”. I ADORE both my DIL and FDIL, consider them my “daughters” (I’ve only got boys). I kept my nose out of wedding planning, asking if they needed help; tried to keep excitement minimal (except of course at the initial engagement). I talk to both DIL & FDIL – but granted, talk to my sons more – and ONLY maybe 1x a week or every other week.
Normally, I am a “bah, I’ll get over it, put on my granny panties”, and yup, it goes away. I grew up a very, VERY negative person, very insecure, introvert, etc – and it has been something I’ve had to work with my entire life. Funny as I’ve gotten older here at 50 – 99.9% of things just roll of my back, life is too short.
But with what happened? No, like I said, it’s been a week now and I’m having a terrible, terrible time dealing with the hurt. During a recent phone call with my son, the conversation was very stilted. I felt the hurt just bubbling over and I was afraid to say something, because I DO NOT want to cause problems – so I kept it all inside. However, I could “feel” the hurt coming out in my voice/tone and the “disinterest in the conversation” I know it probably sounded like that to him.
I *thought* I had a good relationship with my daughters-in-law. My husband told me to call the kids and talk to them, in fact, he was getting pissed because I wouldn’t, he almost called. I said I can’t, I don’t want to say something wrong. The really sad thing is, I don’t think the kids meant any harm or realize what was done/not done was so very hurtful. I just don’t want to have them upset with me because I’m upset.
So… If I was your Mother-In-Law would you want to know? Or should I just keep it inside and not bother?