(Closed) If I won't have a baby this year, I'm giving up

posted 5 years ago in Babies
Post # 3
4495 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

We aren’t TTC yet, but I just wanted to say that I have two friends that were in similar situations to yours. Once they just stopped trying so hard and relaxed – it happened. It was a total shock and so unexpected – one had accepted that they would remain childless and the other was already in the process of adoption.

Post # 4
6597 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2010

@Rabia:  I was in your spot, struggling and depressed, but I wanted to exhaust all options that we could financially afford before giving up. Luckily, on my second round of monitored injectables I had success. I am now 5w4d pregnant and hoping everything goes well. You can read my full story here.

I am guessing that with your current meds you are ovulating? And even though your husband had low sperm count it is fine now?

Remember that each cycle, when everything is working properly (sperm,egg, and timed intercourse) there is only a 20% chance of conception. When adding IUI this increases your chance by 5% – so that is only a 25% chance.

Once we figured out the right med combination for me, my body responded way better the second time around. And my RE always gives a med combination 3 months to work before changing the concoction and trying something else, because of the low percentages.

I know how hard and frustrating it can be. But being in a constant depressed mood and stressful situation cannot help matters. Try and plan something each month that you can look forward to if you DON’T get pregnant. I know this sounds silly, but I really tried to fill my life with activities and things that I loved doing, kept my mind off of my fertility struggles and wasn’t exactly something that I would do if I was pregnant.

I wish you all the luck in the world, just keep at it, I know how hopeless it feels. But if it can happen for me, it can happen for you! If you ever need to talk, vent, etc. just PM me.

Post # 5
509 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

@Rabia:  I am so sorry you are going through this, it seems to have been quite the struggle starting with your husband’s lack of honesty. I am so glad you have moved on from that. He must have been so scared to tell you…

Although I am not in a similar situation, I have seen other bees with these issues and am sure some of them will come forward with support and advice. I also know some have had success with TTC πŸ™‚

Just wanted to let you know that someone out here hears your pain and is sending you love & support. All the best!

Post # 6
661 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

@Rabia:  I am also in a similar boat. Darling Husband with low count, me with PCOS. Darling Husband has also told me that we need to be on “better footing” in the marriage before we can have kids, but he is not exactly doing much to get us on that footing. We’re also older which makes this tough–I feel like it’s now or never. I have looked into freezing my eggs to buy some time but it’s so expensive and sometimes I’m not sure if that’s just trying too hard to force something that isnt meant to happen.

Good luck to you…I know this is not easy.

Post # 7
2600 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

@Rabia:  I’m sorry you’re going through this and I hope you get pregnant soon.  

Only you and your husband can decide if/when to stop trying.  Maybe you can take a break for awhile?

I will say this – while I realize infertility is heartbreaking it is NOT the end of the world.  Regardless of what happens, you are still alive, you still have a husband, family, friends, interests, a future, opportunities and adventures ahead.  

You are entitled to be sad and if it doesn’t happen or you decide to stop trying, you are entitled to grieve.  But try not to lose sight of the good things and possibility in your life.  None of us have only one possible future or only one path to happiness.  

Be kind to yourself.

Post # 10
8041 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2013

No advice here… just BIG HUGS! I hope it happens for you this year πŸ™‚

Post # 13
2600 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

@Rabia:  I’m truly glad if anything I said was of help.  

If/when you go back to work – you’ll make up the lost time.  The job market wont suck forever.  Or you’ll simply find something else.  

I wish you the best of luck.  Hang in there.

Post # 14
1342 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2012

@Zhabeego:  “Be kind to yourself.”


Post # 16
600 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

@Rabia:  Honestly… I hate when people say you need to ‘Relax’ but from your post it doesnt seem like you’ve spent that much time actually TTC with good sperm…

my Darling Husband had issues with Low T and had a doctor that prescribed him with Testosterone while we were TTC… it is effectively male BC… so we lost 4-6 months while DH’s sperm recovered… Then it took us a good 6 months of trying normally to conceive… You only have like a 20% shot of conceiving even if you do everything perfectly! I am so sorry your IUI didnt work for you but you should not give up hope of conceiving! It takes time… and it is super frustrating… but if you are addressing all of your issues per your doctors recommendations it will happen eventually… don’t give up!!! And try your best to stay positive – i know Easier Said Than Done… but TRY!



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