Post # 1
Member
14 posts
Newbee
I got engaged before my friend, lets call her Red. I decided to make it easy for myself and just make my FH’s three sisters be my bridesmaids and be done with that. No hassle, no drama with choosing who amongst my female friends to be bridesmaids (I heard too many horror stories.)
Anyway, Red gets engaged and chooses her party. Recently she decided to make her party even bigger, because she wants it bigger. So she asks me to be a bridesmaid. I’m really looking forward to it because I’ve never been one before! 😀
My question is, is it proper etiquette to ask her to be my bridesmaid as well? I know that if I add her, I’ll want to add my other female friend in our group (going from 3 to 5). And then my guy will want to add 2 more to his because he likes it to be even. And then I’ll feel bad about not asking my female friends that live out of state, because I consider them to be dear friends of mine.
Thoughts? Is it normal to be each other’s bridesmaids?
Post # 3
Member
5093 posts
Bee Keeper
You definitely don’t have to return the favor. It’s nice to do so, but it isn’t expected.
Post # 4
Member
5475 posts
Bee Keeper
Nope. You don’t have to ask her to be a bridesmaid if you don’t want her to be one.
Post # 5
Member
724 posts
Busy bee
I don’t think it’s necessary to reciprocate but I have thought about this sooo much over the last couple months as well! I haven’t picked my wedding party yet but I have 2 friends that are engaged and I am honestly kinda waiting to see what they are going to do. I know it should be who I want up there with me but I am such a people pleaser that I would feel bad not reciporcating :/
If for some reason your friend asks I would just be honest with her and say you picked your FI’s sisters so there was no drama with friends! She can’t be upset with that.
Post # 6
Member
4518 posts
Honey bee
No, you def don’t have to ask her. You’ve got an easy out since your wedding party is just his sisters. That’s very clear. Your friend shouldn’t feel offended.
Post # 7
Member
97 posts
Worker bee
You don’t have to ask her. You are keeping it to family only so she should not feel offended.
Post # 8
Member
1470 posts
Bumble bee
This happend to me, only the other way around! One of my really good friends only wanted to have her cousin stand up with her and be her only bridesmaid, I was fine with that b/c then I didnt have to put up as much money. Now Im getting married and I want her to be a part of my wedding because I want her to be a part of my big day and take all the fun pictues! Was not a problem for me 🙂 So no you do not have to, you should not feel obligated!
Post # 9
Member
1724 posts
Bumble bee
I was going to be the Maid/Matron of Honor for a friend but then she moved away and I didn’t ask her to be in my wedding…I also have a Maid/Matron of Honor that just got engaged and chose three other friends to be BMs
Post # 11
Member
1643 posts
Bumble bee
You don’t HAVE to ask her. Ask her if you want…. but it sounds like it gets a bit complicated after that!! 🙂
Post # 12
Member
7606 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
Don’t ask her if you don’t really want her involved – you’ve got the “just family” excuse to go on, anyway so you’re set!
Post # 13
Member
2414 posts
Buzzing bee
You don’t have to…I’m assuming she already knows who your bridal party is? It makes sense if it’s all family…
Post # 14
Member
656 posts
Busy bee
you don’t have to return the favor. basically the same thing happened to me – a friend enlarged her party and invited two more women to stand with her, and I was one of them. But, I only had family in my side of the bridal party, and didn’t ask her to be in it. She was honestly relieved to be able to just enjoy a wedding!
Post # 15
Member
573 posts
Busy bee
No you don’t have to but it’ll probably be awkward.
Post # 16
Member
39 posts
Newbee
I think since you are keeping it to family she should understand 🙂
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